Thinner

46

Runaways.
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Concrete beneath his feet and streetlights shining down upon his frame, with the midnight air being crisp and chill. Even if it was slightly cold out, it was still warmer than the house he left hours ago. He had no idea where he was. He didn't know how he managed to walk so far away from the house he grew up in. Something about it was kind of bittersweet. He knew that there was no way his parents could ever get ahold of him again. But he also left behind a big part of his life, and it dawned upon his an hour ago the things he had done. How he left a warm but cold home. How he wasn't going to ever see how it felt like to be loved by his own parents.

By now, they were just a memory that was bound to be erased.

He felt guilty now that he thought so deeply about it. He felt hurt that the world span so quickly while he was still walking in this horribly slow pace.

He knew he couldn't go back. He was terrified of his father's threats, but more or so, because he did, in fact, steal a lot of money before leaving. He never thought of doing such things, but at this point, he had no other choice. He needed to survive without a shelter. He needed to survive without a home. He had no one to contact. He blocked everyone's number, and he threw away his sim card. He didn't want to be found. He chose this, and he wasn't going to suddenly show up again, just because he missed the house he constantly got tortured and abused in. He knew he had to wake himself up from his delusions.

Home wasn't an option.

Hid mind traveled to Chan. He never got to him again, that man who made his heart flutter so much, making him smile at the smallest gestures. He knew Chan was recovering well. He missed him.

Hyunjin, too.

He missed them both, the way they would embrace him, and smile at him. He really missed all those moments.

He felt so pathetic.

Yet the thing that made him feel worse was the fact that he couldn't even last 2 weeks home. And now he was God knows where, walking by drunk people. Clubs that were overcrowded with people wasting away their lives while at least enjoying it in some form of way. It reminded him of Hajun. Hajun would love this type of place, but he himself found it terrifying.

But that didn't matter.

He couldn't afford to think of his loved ones right now. It only made him want to return even more.

Just the thought of that pained him. He just want3d to be loved and appreciated, to be told that he did a good job. But no one was proud of him. No one ever congratulated him when he got good grades. It was always 'do better' 'its not enough' or the one that hurt the most 'I don't care'.

Obviously, he wanted to just be able to stop caring about his parents, too. It was wild to believe how he could miss and love someone who didn't miss nor love him back, not even ounce.

The way he tried to fit into a molding box, sacrificing his bones and joints to be good enough. He tried not to eat for the sake of his parents having more to consume. And yet, he was just being called ungrateful left and right.

So walking into the night, with people swarming around him, all in good moods. He seemed to stand out, like a black sheep who got dressed for the wrong occasion. There were people stripping off there already revealing enough clothes, either too intoxicated to even care about the eyes and hands that were grabbing onto their bodies. He has never understood the point of people exposing and putting their body out for everyone to see and touch.

Music blared through the streets, and he was definitely not dressed for the theme of this street. His eyes blurred out the colorful lights, and his body seemed to strengthen up as he walked faster towards an open space that broke free from the sweaty bodies and the smell of harsh liquor. It sort of reminded him of home. The lingering smell of alcohol with tobacco in the mixture. The warmth and humid atmosphere made walking a hellish nightmare. The loud sounds and echoes of people's voices calling out for each other.

The night was still young. People were only just getting started. But he had none of that in his cup of tea and preferred to find a quiet place he could take a rest in.

Everything moved so fast. His mind couldn't keep up. From the first argument occurring to running away with hajun for a few days, only to get back home and receive the same old cold treatment. It was his decision to disappear, but it felt so wrong doing it so quickly and impulsively. How was he supposed to support himself now? How was he supposed to make sure he didn't pass out from over exhaustion. He was never cured from his disorder. It was only tamed down. But he could feel the unwanted hunger pool in the pits of his stomach, making him hiss in distress.

He was used to not eating before, but after the treatment. Everything felt so new and different.

He looked ahead of him, seeing that he made it away from the busy and bustling crowd. He smiled a bit, dragging his feet over the road as he figured he could find shelter in a park or an alleyway.

Not having many expectations to himself, he sighed as he didn't see at least one block with a park nor an alley. Just wanted to find a place where he could fall asleep somewhat peacefully.

"God forbid my misery for once".
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First chapter of 2024!

I had to have a weird timeskip from chapter 44-45 due to my previous chapter getting deleted by accident. I had to rewrite it all, but I just decided to put sort of an unexpected plot in it. I apologize for the inconvenience♡