Thinner

49

Benches.
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It was an awful wait. Just leaving the payphone booth in general was terrifying. People looked at him when he left the place, as if it was weird to only have a 10-minute call. But sitting on some random bench, in the park with sun glaring at his skin, the cold breeze brushing against his hair, it felt exhausting. It was cold, but at the same time, he was burning within. Not with rage, but with confusion. His mind lingered to the question as to why Hyunjin gave him the wrong number. Did he do it on purpose? Was it just an accident? Were there intentions behind it? He couldn't pinpoint it. Cause Hyunjin seemed so happy when he mentioned contacting him daily..which he may have forgotten to do.

At this point, he couldn't think anymore. He couldn't focus on the fact that he had Chan picking him up. Maybe he finally got the explanation he deserved from Chan's point of view. Maybe they won't talk about it at all. It felt odd, like a pit in his stomach growing bigger and bigger.

The anxiety from just sitting here, anticipating his arrival.

What if he was at the wrong park? What if it wasn't the actual street name? What if Chan wasn't coming? Was he just going to sleep on this bench tonight? Like yesterday?

Again, his mind was wandering places it shouldn't go. The only reason he got knocked out of it was because he felt a hand touch upon his shoulder. He flinched as he quickly turned around in shock, meeting a pair of orbs he deeply missed. Staring into them with shock running through his body, he couldn't believe what had just happened.

He couldn't mutter a word. He only knew how to stare. His eyes were glued to the older. And surely, he believed the older felt the same.

It made him wonder if Chan felt guilt. Or if he was doing fine now. Maybe he didn't need to visit the hospital anymore? Maybe he was for once healthy and happy, living his best life.

The tension rose, but it didn't last long till Chan sat down beside him. Pulling Jeongin into his embrace as they sat in silence for a few more minutes. At this point, he was crying, not knowing how he actually managed to think out of the box like this. He was overwhelmed with everything. The dischargement, coming home, running away, and suddenly meeting a person he genuinely thought he lost.

He couldn't believe it was reality.

"I'm so sorry, baby" Chan whispered into his ear, as the younger quickly cuddled up to the latter's side, feeling the warmth radiate from his skin and closure. For once feeling content even if he was bawling his eyes out. "I truly am".

"I-i..I thought I'd never see you again" he sobbed, trying to get rid of his tears as quickly as possible.

"I know..I know...I should have talked to you, but I was feeling so scared from being moved, I was afraid that everything I did to work towards where I am now, would fall apart. I was worrying about you and Hyunjin, I'm truly sorry that I just gave you the cold shoulder" Chan expressed, rubbing circles onto his back, just like he used to do.

"I really need your help" he finally spoke, looking at him with teary yet serious eyes. His heart was pounding, and his head was spinning. He felt nauseous. All at once.

"Have you eaten anything today?" Chan asked as he placed the palm of his hand on the boy's head, a look of concern spread across his face. "You look so malnourished".

"I haven't had the opportunity to eat..I left impulsively" he muttered, looking into the oh so addicting pair of eyes. He knew Chan was concerned. It made him feel bad. Guilty that he never got to fully heal from everything he's been working on.

"I've got my car. Let's go get some food for you, we can drive around as long as you want..I'm not going to leave you" he smiled, warning a soft nod from the younger, who let himself get dragged gently by Chan.

It was a good way to continue on his day. Genuinely, nothing has gone wrong yet. He was beyond glad just to be able to get a hold of Chan in the first place. He missed this man so much.

He nodded at Chan's words, letting the man lead him to his car, which was park just behind them. They both seated themselves comfortably in the tan colored leather seats, buckling up slowly as they sat for a minute.

"Jeongin?" Chan asked, looking at the boy again with concerns. It seemed to be that he was thinking a lot about the situation, and it scared the youngest a bit.

"Mhm?".

"Do you need a place to stay?" Chan asked, his voice wavered as he looked out ahead of the street.

Jeongin stared for a second. Unsure whether if he should agree to what Chan was proposing. He knew he needed somewhere warm and secure. He has been wandering around for two days, having no idea where to sleep or how to get in contact with anybody. But at the same time, he felt like he didn't deserve it. He felt like he didn't deserve the fact that Chan offered so much for him. Even the fact he even got in contact with the older one was unbelievable. So sitting here, with him proposing this favor. It made him feel so useless and small.

"I-i don't know".

And yet that was the only thing he could say.

It was the only words that spilled from his mouth. The one mouth he wanted to spill everything out of, just to get all of things out of his system. He wanted to tell Chan everything, to talk with him about it, to accept the favor. But he was scared. Afraid of everything, even the nicest little thing.

Seeing Chan smile at his reply warmed his heart. At least he wasn't upset with him. He appreciated that.

"That's okay, we can just stay in the car if that's what you want".

There was a brief silence before Jeongin snapped his head in Chan's direction. He didn't quite understand what he meant at first. So seeing him laugh at his action made him even more confused.

"What?!".

"I was just saying that if you do not want to stay at my place, then we can just stay here. Or out there? I don't know. But I will not let you wander alone out here, with no connections whatsoever. I'll be right here".