Thinner

61

Filthiest.
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The aroma that lingered around him as he sat on the filthy bathroom floor seemed to be a rather satisfying and comforting scent to be around. Most of the time, he would probably hold his breath for so long that his face would turn blue. But speaking from the bottom of his heart, he didn't mind the smell of weed and tobacco that blurred out his vision.

Somehow, he knew that whenever Hajun lit a blunt or a cigarette beside him, there would always be such a heartfelt and deep conversation to carry.

But this time things were a bit different.

It was quiet, and only his quiet sobs could be heard from the multiple to a million tears he spilled.

The general encounter he had with his classmates hurt. He didn't say anything to hurt or disturb them in any form of rude way, but it was like he just got shown a big middle finger right in the face, and he wanted to fucking crack that digit till it broke. Even if you couldn't get rid of something that wasn't physically there.

"Nah, cause I remember how vulnerable you always were" Hajun started as he took a long drag from the cigarrete beside him before puffing it out in one big go.

"What do you mean?" The younger sniffed, still visibly upset about earlier.

"Like back when you actually had time for school...matter of fact indulged yourself so much in it..you were like a little quiet nerd. You barely spoke, and the only times you did was when you made commentary remarks about something to do with learning in the middle of the class. Seeing you walk up to them, in general alone was a huge shocker, but speaking to them, even if they disrespected you, was even a bigger shocker..I genuinely thought I was high when you did that..it was awesome".

"It didn't feel awesome, and it for sure didn't feel like an accomplishment either. I got told to just fuck off and count my calories..who the fuck says such bullshit to another living human being?" He exclaimed, snatching the burning paper filled with tobacco away from Hajun, only to proceed to take a rather short drag from it.

"Man, you could have just asked for one" Hajun sulked as he proceeded to light up a new one.

Jeongin honestly didn't understand why he would take the cigarrete from the older. And if he was genuinely honest with himself, he didn't completely regret it. It calmed down his nerves to a certain degree where he felt calm and relaxed, rather than all drowned up in his emotions.

"I once knew this girl..she was a friend of mine for like 3 years. Since I became friends with her, my life got turned upside down. She's the reason why I'm having a hard time making friends, and as pathetic and stupid as it sounds, it's because I'm afraid of being shit talked and betrayed again. She was my ride or die. But she never spoke the truth. She's a pathological liar, a klepto, and a copycat. One day, she went far beyond my boundaries. And when I confronted her, she told me she didn't do any of the things she did, even if I saw it, even if I heard it. She denied everything to my face and told me it all was my fault..I have never done her anything, and that was the moment I realized she was not just a copy cat, not just a liar, not just a klepto. But a manipulating narcissist who would snake around its prey and bite it to leave a nasty scar..and that's exactly what she did" Hajun explained, his hand running through his ready slickback hair, eyes glaring into the bathroom door.

"What do you mean by telling me this?".

"That, the way others treat you will have an effect on who you turn out to be. Look at me for an example. I fuck bitches with a fat ass and boobs on a daily basis just to feel relevant enough for other people. All because there was one person who managed to trick me into believing I was no one without her, she made me believe she was the victim. But she never was. She was the cause of other people's pain, and she wouldn't ever make a single apology to make up for it, even if her life depended on it" Hajun spilled. And if Jeongin could count the emotions that lingered in Hajun's voice, he would become a billionaire.

But he understood what the latter meant. Hajun was referring to the fact that some people are going to be a tougher deal compared to others. And maybe such a deal isn't worth hanging around with, especially if it lingers off of your own mental health.

The way Hajun perfectly put a description on this was painful to listen to. Hajun didn't deserve getting set up by so many people. It made him think about the first time he and the older concluded that they were indeed friends. That whole experience was a ride of joy and sorrows, but in a good way, sometimes emotional rollercoasters don't have a loose wheel and could actually still be stable.

"I think..that if a person doesn't fit right in, they shouldn't have to be forced to fit. When the right person comes around, you just have to let them fall into their own special place before escorting them to it".

"Yeah, no wonder I only have you".

"Touchè" Jeongin grimaced as he placed his hand against his chest to act hurt by the previous sentence. But in reality, it was more fun than a hurtful matter.

"And you are right. But not just about people. It is about everything in general. You don't put a plant in the shadows. Everyone knows that the majority of them need sunlight to be able to grow..and even in that case, people don't always get high because they think it's a fun experience..those are only cover up words to express how much it made them forget about their stress, depression trauma, whatever you'd like to name it. Nothing fits right in because we haven't been exclusively making people and products that are always supposed to be a fit for everyone, and sometimes, too much of one thing is, in fact, enough to fill over the tilting glass of water inside of you".
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I wrote this chapter in physical pain because I don't want to leave my readers starved♡.