Thinner

88

Questionary.
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He sighed as he turned around in the mirror, seeing his own body getting swallowed up by the oversized clothing he borrowed from Chan. His eyes trailed down to how easily he was shrinking inside the pieces of clothing that really wasn't that big in size to begin with, making him feel far more insecure about his own body. He hugged around his waist, remembering the first time he stood in front of the mirror, dressing up to meet Chan, with Hajun fully functioning behind him, making him feel secure in his own skin.

Hajun was much more quiet and timid since the episode took place. It felt as if Hajun really scared himself there. It felt like Hajun got so frightened and shocked by his own actions that he was taken completely off guard to the point that everything he was now was quiet, timid, and shrinking into the sheets to find the warmth of comfort he felt like he really lacked.

But Jeongin didn't blame him. He couldn't. Hajun had been pulled out of a lifelong addiction to every single drug, beverage, and intimacy on this planet earth. The only coping mechanism he had that worked for him was taken away from him, just for his own safety. The rabbit hole that Hajun has dug himself into must be filled with an absurd amount of traumatic scenes replaying in his head each second that passed by. So it made sense that Hajun wasn't feeling well enough to wander out into his own home. Jeingin could only understand he fear, but never experience it fully.

Even though he missed the person Hajun used to be before the whole incident. He silently thanked all worlds upon himself that Hajun had such a bad trip cause without it, Hajun could've died later on, and Hajun could have fallen deeper into it. The damage that was prevented from that one trip possibly saved Hajun from a lot of physical pain and grief from the few people who actually liked him as Hajun.

But that was probably the issue. People didn't see Hajun as Hajun.

Hajun is a drug addict. Hajun is a sex addict, Hajun is an alcoholic. He is a party animal, so big that no party ended without him ending it. He was always the center of attention. He was popular, but in an odd manner.

But it was so odd that it helped ruin his entire ego and personality to the point that everything he did and was, were a failure to be accepted, and a consequence to be dismissed.

He took a deep breath, hearing the doorbell ring as he felt a shiver run down his spine.

Now, it felt like it was his turn to hide, to crawl under the sheets and hide with Hajun. To drown himself in his own insecurities for an eternity.

He felt his breathing becoming shallow as he reached for the doorknob, glancing back towards the lump on the bed underneath the sheets, smiling to himself.

Even despite the hardships, Hajun was doing great, and he was proud of him.

But he couldn't focus on the older like that, not when someone was awaiting him, just a few meters away from him.

He opened the door quickly, though exiting quietly. As he turned to look down the small hallway. He visibly gulped when Hyunjin stood against the door to the laundry room, hair messy, and focused on the phone in his hands. He wore a similar attire to what he himself did, other than the fact it actually fit him much more complimentary than it did on himself.

"Excited? You can stare at me all you want later" Hyunjin chuckled as he slipped his phone into his pockets with ease. Approaching the younger who stood rather dumbfounded in place, unsure whether he should move or stay still and hope he would become invincible enough to cry in peace over how embarrassed he felt.

He felt like genuinely passing out. He was nervous, anxious even. He didn't really understand why he could feel so complicated when all he had to do was spend time with Hyunjin. But deep down, he knew that it was just a cover-up. And it wasn't because he didn't want to indulge himself with the taller. It was the fact that he was too afraid by his own insecurities that he completely felt dislocated from his surroundings. He trusted Hyunjin, but he didn't trust himself enough alone with someone like the taller.

He was afraid he would talk too much. He was afraid that he would say the wrong things. He was afraid that Hyunjin would view him as such an ugly person that he would hurry out the door, leaving him stranded. He was afraid of his own self the most.

"You look cute in Chan's clothes" Hyunjin smiled as he stood in front of the younger. His eyes were trailing down to the younger's attire, taking in all the details on how the clothes absolutely swallowed him up. "And you just look adorable in general".

The blush that crept upon his cheeks as soon as those words spilled from that charming mouth of the older. Feeling like melting was an understatement for sure.

"We're matching" he spoke rather quietly.

The small chuckled that Hyunjin let escape from past his lips made him smile, quickly adapting to the presence of the latter despite feeling like absolute shit.

"I'm glad we are..I think Chan is ready to take over, so shall we head out, darling?" Hyunjin smiled, brushing a few hairs away from the youngers face, nodding his head towards the front door.

Jeongin looked back towards Hajun's room for one last second before turning around, nodding his head in approval as he got a hold of Hyunjin's hands.

"Chan better be a good babysitter, or else he will be fired from his position" he exclaimed rather seriously as he caught a glimpse of Chan on his laptop, doing God's knows what to make his time fly bye. "And I mean every single word of what I just said".
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This has been delayed due to my trip to Italy, I'm glad I got to get this out. I hope you enjoyed this chapter, even though I hurried it♡♡♡♡♡