Saved - A Bucky Barnes love story

Collapse

"Bucky, the room is so beautiful," I say, run up to him and hug him. At first he looks a little taken by surprise, but then he returns the hug. "I'm glad you like it. Nat and Wanda, two of our roommates, have taken over the furnishing of the room completely. They also got you some clothes so that you have something to wear here until we have taken your things from your apartment" says Bucky while we're still hugging each other. I can't explain to myself, but I feel so safe with him. The thought of someone else touching me makes me panic. But at the thought of being touched by Bucky, I can immediately feel my body relax. I always thought that people who talk about such things are crazy. But now I can understand it without actually understanding it. "That's so nice of Nat and Wanda. You've all been so nice to me since then and I just don't understand why" I just still can't understand it. Even if Bucky and I have known each other for a while, I'm still a stranger. Bucky leans back a little in the hug to look at me. "Well, we're friends Michelle. And that's what friends do for each other. And the others here know that you are important to me, so they support me. And they will support you too." I break out of the hug to look around again. It's all so incredible. I go to my little travel bag that Bucky put on the bed while I was looking around the room. Suddenly I have an urgent need to take a shower. I was washed regularly in the hospital, but it felt like a long time ago that a real shower took place. "Um Bucky?" He looks at me questioningly. "Would you mind leaving me alone? I would like to be alone right now." He hugs me again before saying, "Sure, I understand. If you need anything, my room is right next door." He smiles at me again before leaving the room and closing the door behind him. I go into the bathroom and look forward to trying out the luxurious shower. I turn on the water and undress. Before I go into the shower, I look at the mirror. This brief look is enough to freeze me in shock. As if in slow motion, I turn around and see my reflection in front of me. You can still see bruises here and there. Some of them were so big that it will take weeks to completely heal. My whole body is covered in tiny scars from the broken glass caused by the broken window. As bad as these things are, things can get worse. In the middle of my stomach - starting just below the chest to the navel - I see a large scar from the surgery. I see circular scars on my left arm and leg from where the fracture fixator was attached. I step into the shower numb. For a few minutes I just stand under the warm water before I sink down to the floor crying against the wall. Suddenly everything breaks out of me that has built up in me in the last few weeks and months. The beautiful and terrible moments of the last few weeks and years are blending into an indistinct pulp. I don't know how long I'll sit in the shower like that. But at some point, through the open bathroom door, I hear my room door opening. "Hey Michelle, I thought you might be hungry and want something to eat," I hear Bucky's voice. I can hear him, but I just don't have the strength to answer him. It's quiet for a few seconds before he apparently notices that I'm not in the bedroom. But instead of leaving, I hear him walking towards the bathroom. Just as he appears in the door, I lift my head and our eyes meet. "My God Michelle, what happened?" He rushed to me immediately and kneels next to the shower. I still get so shaken by sobs that I can't say anything. But I lean over and hug him as I bury my face in his chest. Although I'm soaking wet, he doesn't hesitate to put his arms around me and pull me close. I need him now. I need this calming feeling that he always triggers in me. He strokes my back reassuringly. "Hey ... everything is fine. You are safe here. He can no longer hurt you here," he says in a calming tone. Although of course I'm still worried that Brock will find me here, the tears are not for him. But seeing what I myself have let him do to me almost hurts me more. While this breakdown isn't entirely Brock's fault, I say, "He'll find a way to keep hurting me. He always does," and I know I'm right. It didn't happen all too often in the past, but if I wanted to defeat him, he always made sure that I'm sorry in retrospect. The beating was still worse than before. "But this time you have me. You have us. He would have to pass me, Tony and the others first to get to you," says Bucky as he pushes me closer to him again. After a while I calmed down a bit in his arms. He gets up briefly to get a towel and some clothes. When he's back in the bathroom, he helps me out of the shower and wraps me in a towel. He even dries my hair. From a drawer to the right of the sink he gets a small box containing ointments, bandages and plasters. He picks up a tube and says, "I'm going to put some of this on your scars, okay? Thor brought us this special ointment so that scars can practically vanish into thin air in a few weeks." He's so tender as he treats my scars. Then he goes out of the bathroom to give me some space so that I can get dressed. The gray sweatpants and the white tank top fit perfectly. I go back into the bedroom and see Bucky who has taken a seat on the edge of my bed. Without a word I crawl on my bed and snuggle up to him. We just sit there for a while. He holds me in his arms and caresses my back and arm. At some point my stomach starts to growl. No wonder, I haven't eaten since this morning in the hospital. "Sounds like someone is hungry. How about I order pizza for us and we can watch a movie together?" Although I think the thought of spending the evening with Bucky is very nice, I say, "You don't have to spend the evening with me. You must have better things to do." I'm really scared of being a burden to him if I take up too much of his time. "I would love to spend the evening with you. What better could I have in mind?" he says and when he smiles, I instantly relax again. What is this man doing to me? Bucky orders pizza via a mobile phone app. "What kind of pizza do you want?" he asks me. "I want one with ham and spinach," I say, looking forward to it. I don't even know when I last had pizza and pizza with ham and spinach is my absolute favorite. Bucky looks at me confused. "I've never seen anyone put spinach on their pizza." "Then you will see it for the first time today. You can try it, then you can form your own judgment." When the order is sent we go to the kitchen and get drinks and a few snacks for after dinner. About half an hour later we are sitting on the bed in my room with our pizzas, eating and watching the first Harry Potter film. Bucky tried a piece of my pizza and found the combination so good that we swapped the halves of our pizzas. On the traded half is ham, salami and mushrooms. We watch the film to the end, mostly in silence. I look over at him every now and then and still can't believe how quickly this man has become so important to me. Where would I be right now if he hadn't entered my life? When the movie ends, Bucky gets up and starts to leave the room. "Bucky? Can you stay here tonight?" I ask him, the thought that he is leaving now makes me kind of sad. "Of course, I'll just quickly put on something more comfortable," he says, takes the pizza boxes and leaves the room. It's only now that I notice that he was still wearing jeans. When he comes back he is wearing a black shirt and black sweatpants. In the meantime I snuggled under the covers. He comes back to bed and makes himself comfortable next to me, also under the covers. "Shall we watch the second Harry Potter movie?" asks Bucky. I nod and start the movie. But it doesn't take long before I'm so tired that I keep dozing off. I can feel how he puts the blanket closer around me and I slide a little closer to him. He puts his arm around me and gives me a kiss on the forehead. This is the last thing I notice before I fall into a peaceful sleep.