Saved - A Bucky Barnes love story

The drive home

The car is completely silent for the first few minutes of the drive home. Bucky seems calmer than during the confrontation with Brock, but I can still see that he is gripping the steering wheel tightly. The knuckles stand out clearly on his human hand. "How do you know Brock?" I ask him. I noticed that immediately, despite the shock and fear for Bucky. The two definitely seemed to know each other. Instead of answering, I can see him clench his teeth. "Bucky?" I turn to the side in the seat so that I can really look at him. "Brock Rumlow was one of the agents who manipulated and brainwashed me. I always knew it was a mistake by the court to let him go. But you could never prove that he was involved in anything." I know from my own experience what Brock is capable of. But knowing that he did just as horrific things to Bucky as he did to me almost kills me. "Michelle, I know it's not fair of me to ask you. But you have to tell me everything you know about Brock. Including the things he did to you." He looks over at me for a moment and I can see how serious he is. At the same time, however, I can also see how uncomfortable it is for him to ask me for it. Everything? Bucky doesn't even know half of everything. But how can I tell him all these things without having to fear that the image he has of me will fundamentally change? I am unaware that my breathing has quickened in panic until Bucky puts his hand on mine to calm me down. "Don't be afraid. None of everything that has ever happened is your fault. And no matter what you tell me, nothing will change between us. I just want to make sure that we have all the information we need to lock him away, hopefully for ever. "Ok, but can we stop somewhere? I don't think it's a good idea for you to drive while doing this." I can't look him in the eye when I ask him to. Without another word, he pulls over and parks the car. I'm still not sure if it is a good idea to really tell him everything. But I do, and the thought surprises me, want that Brock finally pays for everything he did. I sigh and start talking. "When I turned eighteen I was too old to be allowed to continue living in the home for orphans. I had no job, no family, no friends except those who were still living in the orphanage and no money. So I was sitting on the street overnight Most of the time I was forced to do things that I didn't want to somehow survive. So I sold my body. So at least some nights I could afford a hotel room somewhere. But I hated every second of it. And at one point one of the men I sold myself to was Brock." Bucky is very quiet as he listens to me. "He came by more often than others and at some point he offered me that he could help me get off the street. I was so grateful that it took me years to realize what he was actually doing to me. In the beginning he was the perfect gentleman for months. And when I slowly realized that he was anything but a gentleman, I was so in love that I refused to admit it. The first time he hit me was on my nineteenth birthday. I was naive enough to believe that I could make a suggestion on how to spent the day. From then on it went on and on. At first it was seldom and every time he apologized to me very sweetly. And I always believed him that it was a mistake and that he was really sorry. At that time I didn't even know what it was like to have respect for yourself, not to mention what self-confidence is. At some point it was the order of the day. I had to clean, cook, be the perfect woman. And if I made the smallest mistake or dared to contradict - then sometimes he beat me up so badly that I couldn't move for days. And as you know, the whole thing escalated into the fact that he pushed me out the window." Meanwhile my face is smeared with tears and my whole body is shaking. Bucky's body is shaking too, but I guess the reason for this is anger, which he can't let out. "Has he done anything else?" Bucky asks through gritted teeth. Thinking about what else he's done I get almost hysterical. Bucky unbuckles himself so he can lean closer to me and I let him pull me into his arms. I bury my face in his chest and cry until I'm so exhausted that I get a headache and want to sleep. Bucky seems to notice. "Let's go home. You don't have to talk about the rest. What you told me should be enough to get him to jail." I sit up straight again, wipe my eyes and look at him. "Thank you Bucky" for so much. But above all, that you don't force me to talk about the sexual abuse. He kisses me on the forehead and buckles up again. Then he steers the car back onto the road and drives us back to the Avengers Tower.