Saved - A Bucky Barnes love story

Think of it as something you can grasp

I've been in the lab with Tony and Bruce for hours. But so far we haven't really made any progress. Whenever a direction looks promising I start to glow again and get this raging headache again. This self-protection mechanism is slowly getting on my nerves. Even if it happens subconsciously, I'm the one who produces the shield. Then how can it be so hard to break through? "I'm afraid we won't really get any further until Michelle learns to control this energy," Bruce states in frustration. I think so too. I just have absolutely no idea how to do it. "The glow somehow reminds me of Wanda's power. Maybe she can help Michelle control the energy," suggests Tony and has already disappeared from the lab before Bruce or I can say anything. A few minutes later, he and Wanda reappear in the laboratory. "Come on, Michelle. We'd better go to the gym. There it doesn't matter whether you "explode" or not trying to control the energy. The gym would withstand an explosion," says Wanda, waiting in the doorway for me to come. I follow her in silence to the elevator with which we go down to the gym. Somehow I'm nervous again now. What if I really explode? What if I can't do it? "Ok, first of all we have to try to trigger your memories so that the energy flows through you again" Wanda pulls me out of my thoughts. "Wait here" she gets back in the elevator and disappears. After a few minutes she comes back with a pile of photo albums in her arm. She spreads them out on the ground and opens the first of them. "What kind of photos are these?" I ask uncertainly. "Those are pictures of us all. But especially those of you, Leon and Bucky. I guess these are the hardest memories to process. We should focus on them." She hands me the open photo album and I hesitantly turn the pages. The photos show me, at least a woman who looks like me, Bucky and Leon. In some photos only Bucky and I can be seen. I'm pregnant on some of them and Bucky looks so happy on each and every one of them that it hurts my soul to have taken that joy away from him. One photo shows the three of us in a jungle-like environment. A little headline next to the picture tells me that it was taken in a place called Wakanda. "Finally I have you back" is written underneath it in curved letters. I look at Wanda questioningly. "That was after Rumlow kidnapped and manipulated Bucky to kill you. Steve then took Bucky to Wakanda to get that manipulation out of him. You were so angry when you found out that Steve had been hiding from you for months where Bucky was, that you slapped him in the face" she looks both sad and amused when she tells me this. I don't know what exactly it is, but suddenly I'm angry and immediately feel this energy inside me. When I look at my hands I can clearly see that the glow is back. Wanda takes the photo album away from me and attracts my attention. A similar red glow emanates from her hands. "Try to concentrate on the energy and to manifest it. Think of it as something that you can grasp," says Wanda and forms little red balls with her energy. How the hell am I supposed to do this? The energy flows through me from head to toe but how should I grab the energy? I close my eyes and concentrate. Nothing happens for minutes and I want to give up when I suddenly have the feeling that the energy is spreading in front of me like a kind of slime. It only happens inside me, but I manage to grab this slime and shape it into a ball. When I open my eyes I can actually see a blue ball of energy between my hands. It wobbles and looks absolutely fascinating. But no sooner have I formed the ball, it's gone again. "That was really good. Let's try again," Wanda encourages me. We spend the day like this until it is after 8 p.m. At the end of the day I can shape the energy in any way I want and hold it up for as long as I want. As happy as I am about the success, I am dead tired. Manifesting all this energy is damn exhausting. "Ok, I guess we should end for today. That was pretty good, we can continue tomorrow and try to concentrate on getting the energy out of your mind," suggests Wanda and I agree with her. I'm too tired to do anything but go to sleep. We go upstairs together where Wanda goes into the kitchen and I towards my room. On the way to my room, I hear childlike laughter coming down the hall from a room. As tired as I am, I am also curious. I go down the hall and find the laughter coming from Leon's room. I slowly open the door and look inside. I see Bucky lying on the floor and Leon is thrown into the air by him again and again, which makes him laugh happily. The sight is so cute that I have to smile. Despite everything that Bucky is going through because of me, he doesn't let Leon see anything of his torment. You can clearly see how much he loves the little one. When Bucky sees me in the door, he catches Leon and hastily gets up. He comes up to me and says "hey, can you take care of him for a moment? I really need to go to the bathroom." Before I know it I hold Leon in my arms and Bucky is gone. "But I don't even know how to deal with children," I mumble into the void. I look down at the little boy in my arms and he looks at me curiously. "Well then. Let's make the best of the situation." I sit down with him on the floor and almost laugh when he just sits in front of me and stares at me. "Ok ... what do I do with you now?" How can he just leave me alone with the little one? I look around and see a stuffed animal - a fat, round gray wolf - lying next to his bed. I grab it and put it on my lap. "Grrrrrr" gives Leon a sound that is supposed to be a growl. He looks so cute that the whole situation is suddenly no longer so strange. I growl back playfully, which makes Leon growl again. He crawls the few inches between us and pulls himself up on the wolf so that he is now standing in front of me. "Thanks for watching Michelle. How's it going here?" asks Bucky who is suddenly back in the room. "Better than expected" I laugh when Leon is still growling in front of me. Smiling happily, Bucky sits down next to us and is promptly growled at by Leon. "I can see Leon told you his little secret," says Bucky as Leon crawls into his lap. I do not quite understand. That seems to give my face away because Bucky starts to laugh uproariously. "That he's a little wolf." "Oh that" I join his laugh. "Yes he did. But don't worry, his secret is safe with me." The three of us play together for a while and everything feels so normal. At some point Leon stands in front of me, reaches out his hand to me and says something that instantly brings my confusion back. "Mommy" that one little word suddenly turns everything upside down. I notice how I stop moving and hold my breath. My heart is beating like crazy and trying to tell me something that my head can't grasp. Right now everything is too much for me again and I can no longer be here. I get up and run out of the room without paying any attention to the two of them. "Michelle, wait" I hear Bucky shouting behind me, but I don't stop. I have to get out of here. The headache starts again and I feel the energy in my body again. But where do I want to go? Then I remember what Wanda said earlier. In the gym, it wouldn't matter if I exploded because the room could withstand an explosion. Panicked, I run to the elevator and press the call button. I am so glad that nobody comes to meet me on the way. I hope I can get down before I lose control.