Saved - A Bucky Barnes love story

Give me back my memories

I walk up and down the gym, dead tired and angry. On the one hand, my body is crying out to just go to bed and rest. On the other hand, I just want to get this shitty protective shield out of me, or at least I want to be able to control it the way I like it. As at noon today, I try as best I can to focus on the energy in me. I can grab it quickly and with all my might I try to push it away from me, I try to somehow find a gap through which I can go and get my memories out. But again and again I fail. Whenever I have the feeling that the protective shield is loosened enough, it jumps back into its original shape and continues to hide from me what was before. With every failed attempt my frustration grows which also makes the energy in me stronger. Angry tears run down my cheeks. "Please," I beg myself. "I just want to be able to remember." I slump and wrap my arms around my knees. I just sit there and cry. Tears of frustration as well as tears of sincere grief. Come on, pull yourself together. I wipe away my tears and get up again. I take a deep breath and start over. But this time, almost instantly, I feel like I'm going to fail again. It makes me so angry that I start screaming in frustration. "Give me back my memories!" I scream. I'm so angry that I feel like I'm losing control. Heat, pressure, energy - I feel so many emotions in myself that I can't really grasp any of them. I am shocked myself when a pressure wave goes out from me that throws all the weight in the gym to the ground. As soon as the pressure wave subsides, I begin to tremble all over my body and feel dizzy. I try to go back to the elevator to go upstairs and rest, but fail. Before I can even press the call button, my legs fail and I collapse.

Michelle is lying on the floor, unconscious. Since it is now the middle of the night and the slamming of the weights could not be heard outside the gym, she was only found the next morning when Steve went to work out. When he sees her, he rushes over to her and kneels down next to her. "Michelle ... hey wake up," he says frantically while patting her cheek to wake her up. But she doesn't react. Without wasting any more time, he lifts her up in his arms, takes the elevator up and brings her to Bruce and Tony who are already working in the laboratory again.