The Mess We've Made | Minsung

chapter nine

a/n:
This is one of those chapters where it gets continued into the next one. It was getting to be a bit long so I decided to cut it in half. It's also a bit triggering, so there's that. Have fun.

Not bothering to knock, I inserted the custom key Felix made me for his apartment into the lock and opened it. Felix immediately got up from his spot on the couch and ran over to give me a hug. I dropped my things on the ground and wrapped my arms around him, fighting back tears as he held me like it was his last opportunity.

Felix pulled away from me and grabbed my face, "I can't believe they made you do that. Are you okay?"

"If I would've known talking about it would be such a big thing I never would've said anything," I said, holding my fingers to my eyes as I tilted my head back to avoid crying.

"No, this is not your fault. Don't even say that," Felix said, grabbing my face once more and leveling it with his. "You didn't do anything wrong."

"I know I didn't so why is everyone making me feel like I did?"

"So, take me back to that night. You're eight-years-old and you hear a loud banging on the door. What's happening?"

I took a deep breath, "It was a school night. My dad and I were the only ones awake. He was in the kitchen and I was in my bedroom reading The Stand past my bedtime. I remember I was just sitting there in silence when I heard this loud banging sound coming from downstairs."

"When was the moment you realized something was wrong?"

"Oh, I knew right away."

"Oh, honey...Do you have anything else to do today?" Felix asked me. I shook my head 'no' and he nodded his head with a small smirk, "We're gonna get you nice and fucked up, alright? You can forget it ever happened."

I nodded my head and followed him out to the kitchen where he grabbed out two shot glasses and our mutual favorite vodka of his. I made eye-contact with him for a moment before reaching into his cup cabinet and pulling out a glass instead. Felix burst into laughter and asked, "Are you looking to blackout?"

"If I remember any of this, I didn't do it right," I said to him, snatching the bottle and pouring the glass to about halfway before setting it down. "I'm looking to be drunker than drunk. The drunkest I have ever been drunk. I want to be falling all over your floor and embarrassing myself. Is Changbin home?"

"No, he's at work and that gives me the perfect idea." I watched Felix for a moment as he scrambled around his apartment for a moment before returning with his hands behind his back. He smiled at me warmly and said, "Hold your hands out and close your eyes."

I followed his instructions diligently and when I felt whatever it was he handed me drop into my hands, I grinned at the sight, "For us?"

"Changbin and I went to a dispensary the other day, I'm sure he won't mind if we smoke this," Felix said with a giggle. "In all fairness, I replaced it with money so he can just buy another if he's weird about it."

"Grab a lighter, I'll bring the drinks out to the couch," I said to him, quickly shoving the bottle under my arm and grabbing our glasses to take out to the living room. I sat everything down on the coffee table in front of the couch and waited for him to return with excitement brewing inside of me.