The Mess We've Made | Minsung

chapter one-hundred four

I looked up from my phone, "Do you think I should've gone to rehab?"

"Yes," Felix said, looking up from his phone as well.

"Why'd you never send me to rehab?"

"I was dealing with my own shit and you dealt with yours by dealing with mine. I couldn't stop you."

I nodded my head, "Mm. That's fair."

"I can't believe I'm gonna be moving into a house soon. That's fucking crazy."

I put my hand on his knee casually, "I'm proud of you."

Felix grabbed my hand and held it, "Honestly I can't believe I made it this far with my mental health. It's crazy to me."

"I bet you were overwhelmed with trying to cope about getting a house by projecting your shit onto me."

"I accepted a long time ago that I'm not gonna be famous. I don't know what my issue was."

"You have a hundred-thousand followers on Genesis and fifty-k on Anaïs. That's something, right?"

"Yeah, but those people are only there to see you. They don't give a flying shit about me."

"They clearly care enough to follow you. How many likes do your pics get on their own?"

"A few thousand."

"And how many with me?"

"Over ten-thousand."

"See? You're still getting clout off your own shit. Like you said, you spend your days in a lab but your selfies get thousands of likes. You're hot and you're my best friend. Own it. It's like people knowing Kylie Jenner's best friend by name because they're so close. That's us. You could turn it into a modeling thing or something if you wanted that. Her best friend took advantage, why not you? Have you ever had any brands reach out?"

"Yeah, but I figured they're all scams so I ignored them. Plus, I feel like my coworkers would be weird about it. They're all so uptight. They get weirded out by the fact that we're so close and that's only the ones who even know you well enough to know that you have a best friend."

"You don't give a shit what people think. You're like me. Where is this low self esteem coming from?"

"You know bipolar two is ass for me. I've been in a depression for like, months now. This episode is one of my longest. I'm just glad I'm not manic anymore because that's where all of this started. It wasn't even that bad in the first place but you get the deal. It makes me think weird shit."

"What brands have reached out to you?"

"The one I remember the most was called Milk Makeup. What a weird name."

"Milk fucking Makeup hit you up and you ignored that shit? They employ people with like, gorgeous skin. That's you. You're the perfect person for them because they love that pixie look you have going on."

"That's a real thing? I thought that shit was a scam."

"No, they're known for their stuff being good for your skin and applying like 'milk' or whatever the fuck. I had one of their cooling sticks once, it was amazing. They've gone mainstream now. You could go places with that."

"I don't really care? I don't know. I like what I do now. I like being able to escape my head and just focus on a microscope for a bit. It's freeing."

"Who says you can't do both?"

"I don't see how the SFPD would like having one of their people working with blood and DNA being a skin care model."

"You don't post where you work online. It's not advertised."