The Mess We've Made | Minsung

chapter ninety-two

tw warning?

i don't know why i bother

I lifted my head from having stared at the ceiling for the past ten and a half minutes, "Can we talk about our first kiss?"

Minho laughed, "You come back from a daydream-sesh and that's what you have to say?"

"I was thinking of something completely different at first and then I started thinking about how it all went down. We established that you were the one who fucked with the hotel rooms but what was your plan?"

"If you're asking me if I planned on sleeping with you, the answer is no. Innocently enough, I just wanted to be able to sleep next to you. I suggested we kiss because I couldn't resist you."

I rolled off my back and excitedly wrapped my arms around him, "That's so cute!"

"I know that the general consensus between our friends was that I was leading you on but I wasn't trying to at all. I just wanted to sleep next to you but the way you were looking at me drove me crazy so I felt like I had to kiss you just to get it out of my head. Sex was off limits in my mind, though."

"I'm glad but how come?"

"I didn't know at the time how much sex meant to you but for some reason, I could just tell. As much sex as I knew you were having, you never slept with anyone that showed romantic interest in you. You went out on a few dates but if they tried having sex, you'd leave and ghost. Any that didn't try having sex with you..."

"In that time frame, any guy that showed romantic interest in me but didn't try to fuck me ended up ghosting after the first or second date. Of course I didn't really give a fuck because I was obsessed with you and just trying to distract myself, but still." I chuckled. "What about those guys, though?"

"Why do you think it is that they ghosted you?"

"Why does anyone ghost anyone? I'm sure they had their reasons," I shrugged.

"I don't know how you're going to take this but I may know why..."

I sat up and eyed him suspiciously, "What do you mean by that?"

"It was stupid, I don't know," Minho shook his head. "I regret it now, it was all pointless."

"Did you...hurt them?"

"I may have done something..."

I chuckled, "You're right, that was pointless. You had my heart from the moment I met you."

"How was my jealous, mentally ill brain supposed to comprehend that?" Minho joked, sitting up himself. "I only got that when I figured out you were... You know..."

"Yeah, I know," I chuckled once more. "Do you wanna tell me about it?"

"No. Why do you think I held off so long?"

"How many did you kill?"

"One. I threatened the rest of them," Minho said, looking down at his lap in shame.

I grabbed his hands, "Why are you bugging? I'm not mad."

"It seems like you're judging me," Minho pouted.

"I'm not judging you. I just want to know what you did. I don't care about the guys you threatened, either. I just wanna hear about the one."

"That one was the definition of a 'jealous rage.' I'd followed you to this club and you went back to this white guy's place, right? He had this big, wide open window in his living room and I assumed I was just gonna see you two making out on the way to his bedroom but no. You fucked him on his couch for anyone to see. That shit was traumatizing. Hot to watch, but traumatizing."