OCEAN VILLAGE

23. i dont wanna be you anymore🌺

—Athena—
-i just wish you could feel what you say-
-billie eilish-

"Can you bring me over some dresses?" I hold the phone up to my ear, Atlas on the other line.

"Athena come back home." He sounded serious but i'd rather not.

"You know it's not going to happen." I sigh, "Plus i kind of like living alone." I pick Polka up, stroking her in my lap.

"You're living in the upstairs room of a cafe, Athena. It's not a home. Answer my facetime so you can chose what dress."

I accept the facetime and his face comes onto the screen, "How's your ribs?"

"Bruised." I look at his face, remembering mom hitting me across the torso with a lamp. It fractured my rib. "show my closet."

He flips the camera, going to the dresses, "This one's cute." He picks out a pink minidress. Nah, i'm sick of people making comments on my body so i don't show it anymore.

"No, you see that white shirt?" I have a cute outfit idea in my head.

He picks out my plain shirt, "This one?"

"Yeah, put that on the bed and you see that brown cardigan." I say.

He points to one, "Other one." I like the darker colour. He takes it out, "Yeah that's one, put that on the bed too. Go to my belts."

He opens my cupboard of belts, "You see the one with the gold circle, put that on the bed."

He does as i say and then goes over to my shoes, "White sneakers." I say.

He picks them up then flips the camera back to him. "Please come home."

"Mom kicked me out, remember?" I raise my eyebrows, "Plus i have a place to stay, and it's not like i'm homeless. Mrs. Brown and Ace always offer me to stay at theirs."

"So why don't you? Why do you sleep in a cafe?"

I shrug my shoulders, "I like it here, and so does Polka. It's cozy-"

"You're sleeping on an old couch."

"I like this old couch." I laugh, "And i have a TV, a kitchen, food. And get this, i don't get hit."

"I'm sorry." He looks at me through the screen.

"Stop saying that. And i'll probably end up staying at Ace's tonight anyways, take Polka with you when you leave." I stroke under her chin.

"I will. See you in twenty. Bye bye." he hangs up.

I make myself some ramen while i wait for him to come. It's thanksgiving today and i'm spending it with the guys instead of at home, or with my friends.

Atlas arrives, he leaves with Polka, gives me my outfit, hugs me tightly and then leaves.

I only wear a little makeup, not bothering to try and impress anyone. Mascara, some concealer and some lipgloss.

Then i head downstairs, "Are you going out for thanksgiving?" Mrs. Brown asks, looking down at my outfit.

"Yeah, with Ace." I help her put her jacket on. "Ace can give you a lift home whenever he comes to pick me up."

"No no." She points out of the window, the sky a dull blue. "That's my friends." A group of old women stood there, all chatting.

I smile, "Have a good thanksgiving, Mrs. Brown. Tell Rob i said i'll come visit him soon." I hug her, leading her out of the cafe.

She hugs me and her friends all call me cute before walking away. I clean up and then lock up, waiting outside for Ace.

He shows up, thankfully without Kairi.

I get in the front, "Hey." I pull my seatbelt over my body.

"Amore, you look beautiful." He starts driving again. No hand on the thigh because after arguing with Kairi, i told Ace what we're doing is stupid, he agreed and we agreed to be friends. I'm trying to help him get back with Taylor.

"Clean up nicely yourself." I pull the shirt down a little bit.

"Tay's gonna be there." He smiles widely. "I think i might sleep with him tonight."

I laugh, "Don't sleep with him if you're not gonna pursue it."

"We all know full rightly i'm in love with that man." He side eyes me, "On the topic of love, what did Kairi say for both of you to be so wound up over it."

"You know every year we go to the mountains and celebrate christmas and new years there." I change the subject, i won't be going this year but he doesn't need to know that.

"Stop changing the subject, amore." He pokes my knee, "What happened?"

"I like to be appreciated for more than just my body." I say, "That's all you need to know."

He groans, "He said some stupid shit, didn't he? God he never learns. He's not had many relationships, doesn't excuse his behaviour but he's just... i don't know he's just new to this."

Not any newer than i am.

"He's confusing and rude." We turn a corner, this isn't the way to Ace's house. "Where are we going?"

"Parties at Kai's." He smiles, his teeth on display.

"Ace." I groan, "I don't want to go anymore."

"Athena, he would have showed up if we held it at mine. More peoples coming so it's just better because his place is bigger." He makes a strong point.

Fine, i'll just have avoid him.

My feelings got hurt when he said he only thinks of me when he comes. I thought there was more to his touching, his constant need to annoy me.

I don't care if people would like that. I would have preferred if he never thought of me only to just get off. I think i'm worth more than just a picture in his mind.

And i don't care that he's trying to make it better. The damage has been done. he's part of the reason i want to curl up into a ball and hide all of the time.

"Will Maya be there?" I ask, the couple times i've met her she's been so nice, and she's funny.

"Yeah, and Malik will too. He's happy to see you again." He turns left, only three more rights until Kairi's apartment.

"Good, i need to give him a big hug." I heard he got shot, it worried me, even though we're not that close. Anybody getting shot would worry me.

"Hey how was the case you guys were working on?" I remember seeing eyeballs pinned on the board.

"We caught him, Kairi is a little injured, Maya seen her therapist for it but you know, she's new so she'll come round. This was her first big case." He explains, "But, he's in a psych ward now, getting the help he needs. He was a schizophrenic."

"And the victim count?"

"Seven, one's in critical condition fighting for his life in a hospital but doctors think they can save him." He winks, nodding his head.

Soon we're walking into Kairi's apartment, i bought a tub of the macarons they all love.

"I thought you said small." I say to him whenever i step foot in the place. This isn't small.

"Friends of friends arrived." He takes the macarons off me, "Malik's by the couch, have a good time love." He kisses the top of my head, letting me wander off.

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word count : 1278