Art

27

Guilt.
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He really didn't know what happened..but he surely didn't complain, despite the foreign feeling, and it feeling oh so wrong but right at the same time. He just couldn't help it, the affection was beyond to much..but in a good way.

It's been two hours, cuddling up with Minho, who held him in his arms..not saying much, just like his usual self. And Hyunjin mainly did everything. He made sure Jeongin ate, helped him drink some water, and just genuinely helping him rest. And Jeongin was complaining.

Instead he was in deep thought, feeling guilty for pushing them both away. Cause if they actually meant taking care of him, like this, the whole time..then he certainly thought wrong of them. Especially Minho. He was always told by Hyunjin that Minho was actually nice, but stayed rather quiet and direct about it, not being as physical as Hyunjin, and rather speaking in monotone. So being cuddles up on his arms, was beyond something different. And he definitely owed him an apology for misjudging him, and calling him things he clearly wasn't.

And Hyunjin needed an apology aswell. Cause all Hyunjin did, was to genuinely show pure care for him, but Jeongin never let the boy offer him anything, meaning it would be stupid to do so and that Hyunjin did it all, just to get him wrapped up around his finger. And the fact that he didn't know why he acted such ways, was beyond stupid. He had no reason to do so, cause before all this messed up shit, his father always helped him get through stuff..but maybe it was because Hyunjin had a more..motherly vine to him? That he was so unsure whether he should let him in, since his own mother was unable to give him such attention.

He didn't know. And he didn't want to call it mommy issues, even if it clearly was. But nothing else described it so well.

"Jeongin..you should rest, it's been a rough time for you..I swear we won't be going anywhere..we'll stay here till you wake up" Hyunjin stated, caressing his face slightly.

Despite it being unbelievably comfortable, he still couldn't sleep. The insomnia driving him crazy.

"I can't sleep.." Jeongin whispered beneath his breath, causing the two men to look at him with concern.

Minho slowly moved his arms around him, now placing it on his tummy, sort of telling him he was there to listen..Jeongin couldn't help but to find his behaviour cute.

"Is it about your mother? If you want to, we can go see her" Hyunjin spoke, pushing strands of hair away from the boy's face.

"I don't think that's a good idea..I might feel a bit to emotional, I probably won't be able to take it" Jeongin fiddled with hands before continuing. "I think it's best to just act like I never knew her".

That hurt to say, but he really didn't think it would be better to see her. Knowing that he wouldn't be able to stop himself from crying.

"Hm..I-".

"Jeongin..I think your being to denial and afraid of the outcome. You should go see her, atleast when she is still breathing..you know, even though she haven't been here physically a whole year..you shouldn't ignore the fact that she was in fact your mother. You'll regret not going to see her, and it's okay to break down crying..even if it meant doing so for days. It's normal to mourn, and you should remember to allow yourself to show emotions..it would be such a stupid move of you, to not go see her..I think you should go see her, cause it way, you won't forgive yourself for not doing so" Minho spoke, his eyes closed as he breathed calmly beside his ear, letting the boy listen to every word he had to say.

Jeongin started to think..maybe Minho was right, even if it meant crying for days..he should still take the chance to see her one last time. She won't be around forever..so maybe actually spending time with her, even if it meant him being the only on present..would make him feel slightly better with himself.

Nothing lasts forever..he better enjoy it while he could, right?