Art

54

Invincible.
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The next day Jeongin didn't attend school. He couldn't do that, he didn't feel like facing anyone today nor people in general. After yesterday, he felt like he was so useless, never helping around the house, no longer taking his studies serious, he had really hit a low point in his life, and the worst was the feeling that kept building up inside of him. What if the things his father said was true?

What if he was in fact lazy, never doing anything to help in general, always leaving the house to go be with Minho or Hyunjin, what if they thought the same way about him that his father thought of him. It was all his fault right? To tear himself down over small things, really it would be better if he was dead.

This was all just an overreaction..he was nothing worth at all, and the two men definitely just used him for their own fun. He hated having to doubt them, cause he genuinely loved them. But he couldn't help it when legit everyone else was testing his trust issues. He was just playing the victim, what if he actually was the manipulative one here? He didn't like that thought of hurting other people, it tired him out. He couldn't help but to doubt.

Doubt might aswell be his new name after all. Guilt was probably the sweet last name of his, cause that's what he felt half of the time. If he wasn't feeling an overwhelming amount of guilt, he felt frustrated, stressed, sad, and just a bunch of negative feeling s in general. He wanted his smile back, he had no idea where it went..maybe it was exploring the world for awhile, hoping to find the way back home.

He hated days like these. Days where blood stained his wrist, thoughts running on a treadmill, body being the complete opposite of calm. He was anxious, waiting for the worst, crying as tears stained his cheeks..this was for sure hell.

He flinched as he could hear banging on his door, the door swinging open seconds later. Revealing his father who came stumping into the room in pure anger.

"Fucking turn on the dishwasher after you put a plate in there you fucking bitch, you don't do shit for god sake, and you think you can eat whatever is in this house hm?" His father came closer, grabbing his hair aggressively.

He was pulled out to the kitchen where he father stood to point at the dish washer, with simply one dish inside, complaining on how he couldn't clean water himself.

And Jeongin was a hundred percent sure that he hadn't eaten anything in two days. Atleast not what he remembered. And it wouldn't be healthy to waste water on one single plate, that he certainly did not put there.

"I did not put it there" Jeongin defended calmly, shrieking as he was hit by his father.

"Don't you fucking dare to talk to me like that!".

Jeongin felt his head spinning, tears covering his vision. He felt oh so bad, guilty and frustrated..despite not doing anything. He believed he didn't have the rights to be stressed, nor frustrated, cause he didn't help with shit in this house anyways, and that made him guilty.

"That's right, cry about it you stupid cry baby. Fucking go to hell, your nothing but a bitch anyways" his father yelled, continuing the verbal abuse over an over again.

Words lingered to Jeongin's mind, tears spilling over, as he felt overwhelmingly emotional.

Was he the mistake here?