Art

64

Wrong.
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It felt so wrong..why did it feel so wrong? Why couldn't he enjoy being wrapped up in their arms, the cuddles they gave, kisses..why did he feel so disgusted with himself?

Was it the fact that beneath everything he wore, was a truth that he lied about so much, in attempt to make them believe things that wasn't the truth..was he gashlighting them to believe otherwise, or was he just purely protecting himself from his own fears..he didn't know, and it broke him.

They were so calm beside him, enjoying wrapping their arms around his petite body, while he laid with his eyes open, not knowing why he couldn't feel at ease, why he felt so disgusted, like he was nothing..or well he is nothing, just like what his father says.

He does nothing in this apartment to help, he don't cook, clean, wash clothes, he don't do shit. He also haven't done anything to keep this relationship going, all he did was lie, lie and lie, while usually enjoying the affection they gave..that they worked up to make him feel comfortable, at ease, and calm..but he felt neither of those ways.

All he was, was a disappointment..can't make anyone satisfied, nor happy lying about everything to everyone, he felt so disgusted with himself. He hated how he had the guts to eat the food in his own apartment, despite not doing shit to receive it. He hated how he relied on Minho and Hyunjin for everything..he hated how he felt like he was using them, or taking them for granted. He hated feeling like he was so manipulative, despite having this huge heart for them, and for them only.

The way he felt Minho's hands trace his skin beneath his hoodie, causing him to hold back yelps and whimpers, instead melting into the painful touch of his..hoping it'll soothe him out, despite the pain. He bit his lips extra hard as he felt him touch the bandaid, feeling his hands slowly removing itself from his waist.

"Jeongin? Why do you have a bandaid on your waist?" Minho questioned lifting his shirt a bit, revealing the bandaid and showing the still covered up bruises, causing him to sigh out of relief as you couldn't see them.

"My cousin came over to greet us, and come with some condolences to our mom, apologizing that she couldn't had said so earlier..her dog was quite happy for me" Jeongin spoke, leaning against Hyunjin's chest, holding him softly as he kept his lips between his teeth.

"Ah okay, was it nice meeting you cousin?" Minho asked, switching to hold Jeongin's cold hands.

"Yes, she came with a cake..but left quickly too, she stayed for coffee though" Jeongin spoke as he lead on the story of his cousin, that had legit no relation to his family due to moving away to America, after her ex fiance said no to the wedding.

"Hm, sounds nice" Hyunjin whispered, pulling the boy in for a slow and peaceful kiss, letting Minho rub circles onto his back. As he felt an relievement but absolutely guilty for lying like that.

Why was it so hard to be honest?
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It was -7 yesterday, and it's -3 now.