Art

53

Unwanted.
___________________

"How many fucking times are you gonna be such a pessimist!" His father unexpectedly yelled, causing the boy to jump as he spilled water all over himself.

Jeongin had little to no idea what was currently going on, nor why his father was angry. He had no idea, he was simply just drinking water he had just gotten from the tap, until his father started yelling at him. It caused the boy to place the glass down in the sink, standing in front of it, incase his father would eventually use something to throw at him again, and he certainly didn't want nor need that.

He had little to no idea why his father was acting such ways, it hurt for him too listen to such horrible words, getting specifically thrown at him for the stupidest reasons ever.

Just yesterday, after he walked home from school. His father got mad at him for taking a shower, not caring that it was his basic needs. He had legit no idea why he was like that, nor why he eventually would hit him or threaten him. The fact that everything happened so fast, was what concerned him the most.

"I..I was just drinking water?" Jeongin spoke, confused as to why his father was disturbing his basic needs again.

Didn't all human have the rights to have water? Sure many may not have it, but that didn't mean they didn't have the rights too.

"Can you shut the fuck up with your stupid attitude, you never does anything around to help do you, you always go out with god knows fucking who! Your nothing but an ungrateful bitch" his father yelled, throwing a vace on the floor.

Jeongin flinched again, feeling his heart sink. He felt like he knew why his father was acting that way. After finally getting to know Minho and Hyunjin better, and spending time with them..it could possibly be that his father had gotten lonely, never having anyone to be with anymore..but that simply couldn't explain his aggressive behaviour. Jeongin felt genuinely guilty, sure he didn't sleep more than one day At a time at Minho's and Hyunjin's place, he gave them space too. But didn't he have the rights to have friends, lovers or just anyone to hangout with? Perhaps sleep over with? Wasn't that a normal part of being a teenager? It certainly felt like it.

The guilt ate him up. Was his father really so sensitive to the fact he was having fun with people? That he actually went out and lived his life for once? But still he got so fucking guilty, his father was always there for him never usually hurting him. He got lose to two people, and his father started treating him shitty.

"I didn't know-".

"Shut the fuck up, your so ungrateful-".

"Ungrateful for what? You were the one ignoring me, never paying attention to me when I threw up, constantly making me feel guilty. Why when I was at the worst level of my life, you simply dissapeared. You never shared a word, nor a single sound. I barely ate, cause I felt so unbelievably down, I slid my wrist, cause all i could feel was pain pain pain, over and over again, I had no one, and when I finally get friends you becomes a bitch! I am so sorry for being such a horrible son, never being grateful enough. But with moms condition and passing I never really felt okay, when you ignored me I felt like my world had stopped fucking turning, when I was getting deadass stalked, I could barely hold on without having daily anxiety attacks..tell me how your the good one here!" Jeongin cried out, feeling overwhelmingly emotional.

Tears streamed down his face, holding onto his hair as his father started rambling, his ears ringing as he curled down into a ball, wanting to seriously hide away from everything.

"Don't act like the fucking victim here! Tell me what you ever did in this house!" His father yelled, starting to shake him aggressively.

Jeongin couldn't help but too cry harder. He never helped because his father always reassured him it was fine, and that he did everything to make him feel easier when it came to studying. He always stated he would do anything for him, so Jeongin could get a calm year through high school. Which was why he barely moved a muscle...how was it fair he was getting yelled at for never helping, when he simply wasn't allowed to help, or atleast told not to help.

"You told me it was fine, so I could get a calm year in school" Jeongin cried out, feeling his heart sink as his head swung to the side, a stinging feeling on his left cheeks, causing him the tear up.

"Your such a useless bitch, I bet no one actually loves a  lazy ass like yours!".

The degrading words continued, causing Jeongin to feel much more unsure with the relationship he had with Minho and Hyunjin, wondering what they actually wanted from him.

They could easily take
him for granted, using his body for their own pleasure, while making him feel oh so sweet in their arms..he didn't want those pictures to be true. He simply wanted to just bury himself in a hole, and never see the sunlight ever again.

This was beyond what he could tolerate.