'Safe with Rafe' Y/N x Rafe Cameron

Chapter LXVIII

Rafe sighs as he hangs his head low in defeat, he knows he has no choice but to comply with Shoupes orders.
"It's okay." You whisper as you turn your body into Rafes. His arms wrap around you lazily in exchange, longing for your comfort.
"Thornton." Shoupe says with a gesturing hand to follow his lead as the two begin to walk towards the source of the flashing lights for seperate and one on one questioning.

You sit against a stone bench by the pier and wait as you watch as Topper calmly explains to Shoupe his interpretation of the incident, proud of his shift in confidence from earlier when he was shakey and rambling nonsense to now, standing tall and standing his ground, peaking your curiosity as you listen in as much as you could between their muffled voices.

Rafe sat beside you, although he wasn't too interested in what was happening between Shoupe and Topper. Instead, he stares at the sand that surrounded a dark and still figure that lay amongst it. More specifically, at the damage he had done.
He stares unbothered at the splashes of blood, some spots more severe as the sand would clump with excessive amounts. His eyes trace the sand before landing on his former best friend, expecting to feel grief but feeling nothing at all.
"What if I'm not okay." He mumbles, earning a concerned glance from you.
"What?"
"I'm not okay."
"Rafe? What do you mean-"
"I- I don't know if I can control it anymore." He says, trying to think back to the final moment he had control over himself but coming to no recollection. Only blood, and how badly he yearned for it.
"Hey, it's okay, we'll figure it out, alright? We'll go to your house in the Bahamas, just like you wanted. We can get away together for as long as you need, just say the word and we'll leave. Does that sound okay?" You ask with caring eyes as they stare into his that sparkled with old tears.
He begins to shake his head slowly and silently, another melt down on the verge before he speaks again.
"No, no..." He says as he leans his face into the palms of his hands, "I want to be okay, for you, but I'm not." He groans.
"Rafe?...What're you trying to say?"
"I just- I keep having these thoughts in my head when I'm around you. I can't control them and I'm afraid about what will happen if I can't." He rambles as he stands up from his seat on the bench, his head still cradled in his own two hands.
"What do you mean-" You begin before being hurriedly interrupted by the pacing Rafe in front of you.
"I want to protect you but- but not like this." He says as he gestures towards Kelce's body,
"I mean- I do, that's the problem. I almost killed him but I just...I wouldn't have cared if I did."

You could see in Rafes eyes and hear it in his voice as he tries to keep it from breaking that he regretted every single thing he couldn't help himself from doing. He wasn't one to ask for help from anybody and especially not you, but right now, it was as clear to anybody that he was in this very moment.
Wether he was aware of it himself or not, he wanted help, but it was help you weren't sure you could provide; and it made you wonder.

If this is because of you, then maybe removing yourself would be what he needs, or, it could be exactly the opposite.

"Do you think...?" You begin.
"Think what?" Rafe asks as he glances towards you at last.
"I'm the cause of this all?..."
Rafe struts towards you fast as he shakes his head in disagreement before placing his hand sternly but reassuringly on your shoulders and looking into your eyes intensely, making sure that you heed and absorb every word he is about to say.
"There isn't a thing on this planet to blame for Kelce's actions except for Kelce, himself. Alright?" He says, earning a soft nod from you in return.
"Right, you're right." You mumble under your breath before being pulled into a much needed hug by Rafe.

You sink into his touch, melting into his warmth which was warmer than usual despite being outside on a chilly night. The pure love radiating off of him was ethereal, even on a night like this one, and considering the scene that just played out, you were also filled with so much love to give to him.
There was no shortage there; so he sinks into you as well as you, into him.
His arms wrap tightly around your waist, the sensitivity of your inner curve felt delicate as his hands gripped either side.

"Y/N!" Shoupe calls out as Topper approaches the two of you again, "You're up!"
"Be right there!" You shout in response before looking up and into Rafes eyes as he dreads letting you go again.
"I'll be back." You say, placing a gentle kiss on his jawbone.
"Alright." He says, giving your waist a quick rub with his hand before feeling you remove yourself from his touch once again, the cold night air rushing to where your warm body had just been beside his.

Topper watches from the sidelines as Rafe adorns you from a distance, a smile quickly spreading across his face when he recognises that Rafe was finally Rafe again.
"Dude." Topper puffs with a smile of relief before pulling him into a brotherly embrace, "you really scared me back there."
"I'm sorry." Rafe says as he returns the hug, "if I scared you, I can't imagine what Y/N thought."
"Actually, she handled herself pretty well. She surprised me." Topper responds as he prys himself away from Rafe and dazing at you in unison.
"It shouldn't have been her." Rafe says lowly.
"Hm?"
"She shouldn't have had to do that. To endure it."
"Yeah, well, don't beat yourself up over it. She hangs out with pogues for shit sake, hanging around someone like Jj would've oiled her gears a little bit."
"Ugh," Rafe huffs in disgust, "don't say that."
"Pshh- what?" Topper laughs with a shrug, "what did I say?"

Rafe and Topper sit besides each other on the bench, silence droning over the atmosphere after the long wait before hearing footsteps in the sand. They both act fast in looking up and checking to see who it is but quickly coming to ease again when their eyes only land on you and Shoupe heading over again.
"Alright, you three. Thornton's and Y/N's story's match so there's no need to question you Rafe." Shoupe says.
"Sooo, we're free to go?" You ask.
"Sure." He sighs before something comes to mind again, "Oh and Y/N, your father asked me to keep a look out for Kelce just last night so naturally I'll have to fill him in about tonight. Hope you understand."
"Um...As in I snuck out with a boy in the middle of the night? Please don't." You say discouraged.
"Your fathers orders."
"Wha-? You don't work for him!" You exclaim, your obviously bothered tone of voice causes Rafes hand to fly to yours with comfort before making himself present directly beside you and towering tall in front of Shoupe.
"Sir, if it's not too much to ask, I'd actually prefer to keep this between us." Rafe adds with a questionably plain expression, "my father too."
He hints.

Rafe had always known about his father, Wards, secret bribes he would offer to almost every officer in town to let him off the hook whenever he would do anything even remotely unlawful, even if it was something as little as fishing somewhere he shouldn't be. Ward would generously exchange money for privilege from sly cops and Shoupe just happened to be one of them. The slyest of them all.

Shoupe stares back at Rafe as he presses his lips together in thought but coming to no conclusion except to let you off the hook as well, just like he would often do for Ward.
"Alright." He sighs, "Go, quick, before I change my mind."