Don't Delete The Kisses // Minsung

Comfort Place🍁

This was not my thing at all.

Flashing lights, a sea of people, loud music blaring the smell of sweat and alcohol and the stuffy air was just not for me. But Felix seemed to be hyped already. How?

We entered the house, which was definitely rented out because it was more like a hotel than an actual house. Felix caught the sight of some of his friends and waved over.

"Hyung, do you mind if I go say hello to Seungmin and Jeongin?" I shake my head, I'm not going to mind that at all, but I'd rather at least go with him.

Before I follow he's already gone and I'm left to stand alone in the middle of bodies dancing. How great. Maybe for once I could just let myself go, isn't that what parties are about?

I wonder around a little more, someone handed me a drink, so I drank it. Some on brought me over to the kitchen where all the drinks were. I ended up having a few shots and some vodka and coke drinks before I feel myself becoming hazy.

I had to stop with the drinking now. I don't like when I'm drunk. But somehow I end up in a dance circle, people were cheering for me. No one cared who I was, no one cared about anything other than the good vibes everyone was throwing at each other.

Someone joins in with me and then everyone is suddenly dancing together. We're all laughing and singing on the top of our lungs, God is this what it feels like to be happy?

I jump a little more before someone grabs my shoulder, I spin around and freeze.

"You got some nerve to show up here" It's Haeun. I gulp, I had nothing to say really. I'm not a reckless person when tipsy, I'm just trying to have a good time.

"Aren't you meant to be suspended?" He laughs and his awkward posse laugh with him. "Are you that desperate for more attention? Everyone knows you're gay now"

I shove his hand off my shoulder. "What do you want?" I asked the happiest I felt suddenly faltering. Haeun folds his arms. "For you to get out of my sight" He smirks. "Or else I'll just shout that it's you"

So everyone actually knew who I was, of course they did. It was all students from our university. Rumours spread quicker than wild fire it seemed. I don't think having everyone laugh at you for being something different is what I wanted right now anyway.

"Right..." I mumbled and leave through the bodies of people, pushing my way through. I can hear Haeun and his gang laughing as if they just did something successful. Dumbasses.

I'm just about to leave when Hyunjin catches my arm. "Woah, Hyung, are you leaving?" He asked. I look at him and fight back tears that seemed to want to fall. Why did I want to cry? I don't like crying. I nod my head slowly. "What? But you only got here like... An hour ago"

Hyunjin had obviously seen me then. "You seemed to be having fun" he shrugged. I shake off his hand from my arm. "Well I'm not anymore" I start to leave again.

"Wait where are you going!?" He shouts. "For a walk!" I shout back.

The park seems to be my comfort place now. Especially the swings. I just star at the ground wondering if I had stood up for myself would Haeun have backed down and left me alone? I still wouldn't feel happy anyway so what was the point in trying? The rusty swings gave me more peace than half the shit I had going for me so there's that much.

I sway slowly and felt tears softly roll down my cheeks. God I feel so alone. This doesn't have to do with just me being the only gay person in my university it seems but also in everything else. I have friends but I feel alone in their presence, I have a family but fuck them, I have an education but I don't see the point in it anymore. What was the point in all of this?.