Don't Delete The Kisses // Minsung

The Bare Minimum🍁

The next morning wasn't any better. I still felt like crap. I managed to get up to get myself a coffee though, small win I guess.

Felix was trying his best to make it seem like everything was normal but you could tell it wasn't. There was an awkward tension in the dorm.

I stirred my coffee a bit and felt Felix staring at my back. It irritated me and I slammed my spoon onto the counter. "What?" I asked bitterly.

Felix jumped when I looked at him. "Just making sure you're okay-"

"I'm not, so stop trying" I took a sip of my coffee and burned my tongue. "Fuck!" I cursed and poured out some of the liquid into the skin.

Felix just watched. I know I scared him but god making things seem okay made it worse.

I didn't feel like coffee anymore.

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I couldn't tell if it was because I had a panic attack last night or the fact I told people about my personal problems for the first time that made me so angry today.

But it didn't get better when I showed up to the dance studio.

Jisung smiled as I walked in. "Minho!" He called. I didn't say anything and just threw my bag onto the floor. He was urging me over to the speaker.

"Okay, for today I was thinking we could put different parts of the choreographies the guys did into one dance" He was enthusiastic about this idea but I just gave a slight hum. He didn't even seem to notice how dead I sounded.

"They all seemed to enjoy seeing every group's choreos so why not huh?" That's when he looked at me. His smile dropped.

"Jeez Minho, you look dead" He was joking. But I couldn't even take a joke today either. "Thanks" I replied emotionless. I think that's when Jisung started to sense something was wrong.

The students arrived soon after and Jisung ended up doing most of the talking. I stood beside him probably looking extra annoyed because any of the students who looked at me gave me a scared look and turned away.

Soon enough the students were doing their dance. Jisung had picked out the best parts and was getting one group to show the choreography they did to the others. Confidence booster.

Three girls were showing off their part but I stopped them when they did a move slightly off. "Stop" I sighed. Jisung gave me a look. "What? Why? They're doing Fine"

I glared at Jisung and that shut him up fast. I didn't care anymore. I still felt nothing.

"Yesterday you did that move on the opposite leg so fucking do it right or get out" I shouted. The whole room went silent and somewhere in my brain I knew I fucked up but I didn't even care.

"Um.. Minho you good?" One of the boy's said gaining some laughs. "Are you going to keep trying to be witty?" I turned to him.

The room was silent again. A dark tension hung over everyone. Until Jisung laughed "Okay guys take five and I'll just talk to this grump over here" He dragged me out of the room.

We went outside of the dance studio and the cold air of late January was present. Jisung looked really pissed off.

"Okay, care to explain what that was just then?" He folded his arms. I shrugged "I just made sure they did their dance right... No point in them doing something different to their actual moves yesterday-"

"Minho they're 16" Jisung rolled his eyes. "It's not like a competition" he was so annoyed at me.

"Why are you so pissed today?" He asked. "It's fucking frustrating" He added. I didn't reply.

"Like hell, I don't care if you're pissed about something but don't come into my class and make others feel scared or annoyed too"

All he was saying was right. He was being the logical one here and I was just too in my own head to give a shit. I was just beating myself up that I told people about my own problems.

"If you're so pressed about that I'll just leave then" I raised my voice a bit. Jisung scoffed a little. "I don't mind if you're angry Minho" He rose his voice too.

"But don't project that onto others" He sighed after and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Just go" He said after a while.

"Oh so you're firing me then?" I folded my arms and glared at him. Jisung groaned annoyed. "I didn't say I'm firing you did I?" He was so so annoyed.

"Fuck.." He cursed. "Just go and come back to me when you feel okay again" He was closing himself off to me now. I felt it. "If you can't do the bare fucking minimum don't bother" He then swung open the door and walked through it leaving me there in the cold.

That was the first time we ever... Fought.

I stood there stunned at not only myself but how cold Jisung is when mad. He gave me zero sympathy and genuinely I think it was the wake up call I needed.

As I walked off, I slowly came to terms with how shitty I was being and all because of my sister telling me she didn't actually hate me and that she'd be there for me now.

I mean I had valid reasons to be upset. Jisung was right saying I shouldn't push my anger onto others but I can't really handle emotions like those. So it just happens.

I was more mad at myself for telling Felix and Hyunjin things last night. That's probably why I was angry. I swore to myself no one would find out and well it crumbled down last night.

I was tired again. I had let Jisung down extremely and I didn't even know if he was okay either.

Feelings are a weird concept I think. You feel so many different emotions and yet by the end of the day all you really care about is how you feel than people around you.

I always thought I was cautious of my own feelings and not wanting to upset anyone so I acted as if I was fine. I always made sure everyone else around me was happy before myself.

It seemed that wasn't always how it went. Today was a pure example of it.

If this is how feelings and emotions can be I don't want them anymore. Is there a switch somewhere in my brain to turn them off? I'd like that.

I'd like that a lot.

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Heyyyy how are we doing?

Simple reminder to drink water if u haven't today and eat something niceee

Anyslay, keep slaying babes xx

Love yaaaa