The Self-conscious Submissive

pole

-Monica

It's been two weeks since Kyalan started doing classes for me. Things were still kind of awkward between us. He was talking to me but I could still feel a chill whenever we spoke. I started to wonder if our friendship would ever get back to normal. The best part of the pole dancing classes was the fact that I had him to laugh and gossip with and now it's just all serious and no fun. I wanted my friendship with Kaylan but maybe I should just give him space for now so that he can get over his anger towards me.

That morning, I went to talk to my Master in her office,

"Master, I think I want to stop my lessons," I said.

"Why is that? You were so eager to take these classes before, you were even willing to lie and disobey me to take them," she said.

I winced at her words remembering that she was still upset with me to for my actions.

"It's just no fun anymore Master, Kaylan's mad at me still and we don't talk like we use to. It's hard to take the lessons and enjoy it when he's just talking to me like I'm just some random person," I said feeling sad again.

"So things are hard for you because the people you hurt aren't getting over it as fast as you want them to so you just want to run away from the consequences?" she asked.

I opened my mouth and then closed it and put my head down my heart started to ache. 

"It's not that I'm trying to run away from it I just don't want to feel like he is being forced to be around me, I said tears starting to well up in my eyes. 

"He's not being forced to be around you Kijara, he's your friend and he enjoys your company. He's just having a hard time getting over it. You have to give people time to heal from the damage you leave behind. Just because you're over something doesn't mean that others are. Trust is something that's hard to rebuild it doesn't just happen overnight," she replied.

I started crying at her words mad at myself for hurting people I cared about. I didn't mean to break their trust or lie to them. I knew I mostly thought of myself and not how my actions would effect others. 

"I just don't want him to hate me," I cried.

My Master got up from her chair and wrapped her arms around me, "Nobody hates you Kijara, just give it time," she said kissing my forehead. It'll get better Kaylan will forgive you, just be patient with him."

After I recollected myself I started my chores cleaning up the house and getting ready for company. An hour before his arrival I went back to my room to get dressed for my lessons.  I was wearing a tight black glittered mini dress and a black thong. It was weird being dressed in the house when Master preferred me Naked, but she felt I deserved proper stripper clothes even though I wasn't taking them off during my classes. I looked at myself in the mirror and I had to admit I looked sexy in this. 

I slipped on my heels and made my way to the living room where Master was putting up the portable pole. She was wearing a pair of jeans and a white tank top. I watched her as her strong muscular arms tightened the pole to the ceiling. When the pole was set in place she turned and looked at me as I approached and her eyes traced up and down my body. I stood still for a moment and allowed her to drink in my appearance in hopes of her approval. 

When her eyes came back up to my face I walked slowly towards her sashaying my hips hoping to look as sexy as I felt in this outfit. When I stood in front of her she looked at me and frowned.

"Why are you standing in front of me with clothes on?" she asked with a disapproving look. 

I froze confused, she picked out this outfit and put it on my bed for me to wear.