The Self-conscious Submissive

Not your Dom

-Dylan

I made my way home after talking to my Diamonds and sorting out my feelings about all the chaos taking over my life.  I park my car and walk up to my front door I close my eyes and take a deep breath steading myself for what I'm about to do. 

I get ready to put my key into the door but it swings open. My heart stopped as Trinity came into view in her pajamas with tattered hair and a tear-stained face. She looked up at me and her lip quivered. She lunged towards me and put her hands around my neck hugging me tight. 

"Omg, Dylan you're home I missed you so much. I'm so sorry I'm so so so sorry," she cried into my neck.

I fought the urge to embrace her remaining stiff not taking her into my arms like I normally would not consoling her, or telling her that everything would be okay because I didn't want to lie to her. I had to remain stoic I didn't want her to know how much she affected me. How much I needed us to be right again how much it was breaking me how sad she looked. I never wanted to see my Princess sad even if it was by her own doing but I couldn't give her what she wanted right now. I couldn't baby her I couldn't be gentle and loving not yet. I had to be strong and dominant, for us to fix things she needed to learn a lesson, and it wasn't going to be learned if I gave in to my emotions. So I turned them off and remained still.  It took her a moment to realize that I hadn't embraced her but when she did she let go and backed away from me. She looked up at me and her eyes traced mine trying to make out my energy. 

"Can you let me in? I don't feel like standing in the doorway all night," I say emotionless.

"Oh uh yes, sorry," she replies moving out of the way so I can walk into the house. 

I make my way in and look around my home the lights are off and the curtains are closed. It felt cold and empty but at the time that's how I felt too so I appreciated the symmetry. I look over to the couch and see a blanket where I'm assuming Trinity laid wrapped up waiting for me to come home. I didn't look for Monica I already knew she was gone. I made my way to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water my mouth went dry after Trinity touched me and it was feeling hard to speak. 

I turned around to go back to the living room and saw her kneeling on the floor. "You can get up off of the floor Trinity there's no point of kneeling to me anymore."

She shakes her head no, "I am not worthy to stand in your presence, Daddy."

I was pleased that she realized how unworthy she was to serve me at the moment. It meant she acknowledged how much she had hurt me, hurt us. But I wasn't going to let that show. I mustered my strength to remain cold. "I told you before I am not a Dom and you are no longer my submissive so do not kneel to me."

Her lip began to quiver, "Please don't say that. You are a Dom, My Dom, a great Dom the best Daddy I could ever ask for. I know I'm disobedient but I am now and will forever be your submissive."

Damn right, you are. Her words gave me strength the strength to proceed. Knowing she still wanted this knowing she was still all in. That what happened the other day was truly just a misunderstanding and not what I had feared.

"Please don't let what Monica said hurt you. She was scared and worried about me. She made a mistake but as soon as we explain it to her she'll understand." 

And as soon as she brings me up she sends me crashing back down bringing up Monica. Here I am telling her about how I am no longer her Dom and she's worried about her damn friend. Is she not even concerned about our relationship? I tried to ignore the ache in my heart at the mention of Monica's name. I didn't want to hear that name right now. The fact that she was even bringing her up and defending her hurt and pissed me off. Why can't she just focus on the two of us right now?