The Self-conscious Submissive

Clueless

-Monica

I'm kneeling in the living room waiting patiently as my Master prepares to head out for work. 

I watch her feet walk past me and towards the kitchen while we talk, "Alright, Kaijara Trinity and I will be at work today so that leaves you and Kaylan in the house alone to take your classes. I expect you to behave yourself today. Don't make me regret this decision," she said sternly.

It's Wednesday Morning and she's heading to work leaving me to take my pole dancing classes with Kaylan alone for the first time. I'm excited that she's giving me the chance to prove myself today. This will be my first step to earning my Master's trust back.

"I won't Master," I replied.

She looked down at me her face softening, "I look forward to seeing what you have learned when I come home from work."

"I will work hard today to make you proud so that I'm worthy to call myself your submissive," I replied determined.

I really do want to aim to do well. I want to show my Master my progress so she'll be proud to have me on her arm. I want to become more confident and sexier for her so that I'm not always in my head. I want to become the submissive that I want to be for myself and the one she deserves. I need to better like Trinity more confident and more obident. I have to stop messing up and doing stupid things before she decides that I'm not worth the energy.

I ball my fist up in my lap struggling with my emotions. She walks over towards where I'm kneeling sits on the couch in front of me and lifts my chin so that our eyes meet. 

"You already make me proud Kaijara. I've told you before I like you just the way you are. You're beautiful, sexy, smart mouth, full-on brat, and a pain in my ass.  The only one who thinks you're unworthy is you," she said sending my heart a flutter.

 I shake my head not allowing myself to get swooned into her words. I have a long way to go I thought I was getting close but I had proven myself wrong when I got in trouble. I had proven to Master that I was unworthy. 

"Why do you doubt yourself so much Kaijara? Have I not shown you how special you are to me? I haven't given up on you through all of your bull shit. Does that not prove your worth? Does that not display my feelings to you?" she asks. 

I sit there silently looking at her. Trying to understand what she sees.

"Let me ask you a different question. Are you content just being my submissive Kaijara?" She asked throwing me off.

I thought about her question and the experiences I've had since everything started. From the moment Dylan claimed me at the club, to her being patient through my insecurities, to her stepping into her role as my Master. The good, the bad, the punishment, the pleasure all of them amazing in their own rights. Things have changed so much in such a short time with the two of us and I'm becoming more and more amazed at Dylan's ability to be a Dom to both Trinity and me even though our submissive needs are different.

"Yes, Master I'm happy being your submissive. You're an amazing Dom, the best I've ever had," I said honestly.

The one side of her lip twitched almost forming into a smile but stopping. Her hand traced from the top of my head down to my cheek caressing it. "Is there anything else that you want from this relationship? Anything else that you want or need from me?" 

I looked at her curiously not sure what she was asking me. Was she asking me if there were any other fantasies or kinks I wanted to explore? Or was she feeling guilty about my punishment? Her eyes were on me swimming through my soul waiting for me to answer. The way she was looking at me intently made me doubt that it was about me wanting to go back to work.