J+C: DRABBLES

☆Jake's Emotions☆

Tw: venting, deep conversation, emotional stuff, mental health discussion

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"Hey, Carrington? Can i talk with you?" Jake asked as he reached the top of the stairs. He is standing in front of Carrington's closed bedroom door and knocked and opened it soon after.

Carrington jumped, nearly dropping his phone as he turned to look at Jake. "Jesus Christ, dude, you scared the living daylights out of me!" He said, holding a hand over his chest as he chuckled.

He looked up at him, his eyes glinting in curiosity. "Yeah? What's up?"

Jake laughs, "Sorry. Did i interrupt something?" He wiggles his eyebrows then laughed.

Carrington rolled his eyes playfully, a smirk forming on his face. "No, you didn't interrupt anything. I was just... scrolling."

Carrington chuckled and put his phone away, crossing his arms over his chest. "What do you need?"

"I just need someone to talk to," Jake replied as he takes a seat onto Carrington's bed. Folding his hands together as he looks down at the ground.

Carrington watched as Jake sat down on his bed, his expression softening. He walked over and sat down beside him, leaning back on his hands.

"Alright, shoot. What's on your mind, Jake?" He asked, turning to face him.

Jake looked up and over at Carrington. "I don't know, my emotions are confusing sometimes. I like routine, but sometimes i just don't have it and it makes me feel out of whack and behind. I'm working on myself better but i just don't know how long this is going to take me. Especially since im learning still so much everyday. i still feel like im behind everybody. Like I'll never catch up, but I'm still happy with who i am, but i also want to change some stuff for the better."

Carrington listened attentively, nodding his head as Jake spoke. He could relate to the feeling of not knowing what to do with your emotions. It was something he had to deal with himself.

"Hey, it's okay to feel that way," he said, putting a hand on Jake's shoulder. "It takes time to work through things, and you're doing your best. And honestly? That's all that matters."

He paused for a moment, looking at him with a warm smile. "Change can be scary, but it's also an opportunity to grow and become a better version of yourself. Just remember to take it one step at a time, and don't be too hard on yourself."

"I mean, i like who I am now. It's just I don't fucking know man , recently I've been worried about what people think of me, and normally I don't give a rats dick, but like- it kinda is just egging me on in my head. To be frank, like- I'm trying my hardest to still learn and accept changes, but they also make me uncomfortable at the same time, because its something so new. Life always changes and like- i never understood that or why that happens. It's honestly interesting but weird." Jake vented.

Carrington chuckled at Jake's rambling, but he understood what he was saying. He nodded along, giving his shoulder a gentle squeeze.

"It's okay to be worried about what people think of you," he said. "But don't let their opinions define who you are. You're more than just what they say about you. And as for life changing, yeah, it can be weird and confusing. But it's also a good thing, in my opinion. Change keeps things interesting, you know?"

"Yeah i suppose your right Carrington," Jake nodded. He laid his head onto his roommates shoulder, bouncing his leg as he talked. "I'm still learning everyday. And that's ok. I need to stop like- shaming myself for being behind others, and rather just not give a fuck. I need to just- stop giving a fuck. I am me, and that's okay. Like- it's okay to be different, its just the way that it is"

Carrington smiled, feeling a sense of pride in his friend. He wrapped an arm around Jake's shoulders, pulling him closer.

"Exactly. Stop worrying about being behind and just focus on being yourself. And you know what? Being different is great. It's what makes you unique, and you shouldn't be ashamed of that." Carrington says.

He chuckled and nudged Jake playfully. "And you should definitely stop giving a fuck. You're doing just fine, man."

"Thanks bro, I'm just been going in my head again. Doomscrolling on my phone and just the lack of routine is making me feel fatigued and anxious. I need to get on my routine shit again, it keeps my head in gear so i don't feel frazzled." Jake replied.

Carrington nodded sympathetically. "I get it. Routine is important, especially when you're feeling overwhelmed. And I know how addicting doomscrolling can be, believe me."
He chuckled and ruffled Jake's hair.

"Yeah and I'm just trying to learn to be more accepting of myself. I know it's gonna take me awhile, and i am still learning. But that's okay. I need to stop convincing myself that there's something wrong with me, when honestly the way i am, the person i am always going to be, isn't going to change. And that's fine. I may have flaws and like - not be exactly perfect, but no one is. Right?" Jake looked over.

Carrington smiled warmly, nodding in agreement. "Absolutely. We're all flawed in some way or another, but that's what makes us human. And honestly? Your flaws are what make you who you are. They're what make you unique, and what make you stand out in a crowd."

He patted Jake's shoulder. "And it's okay to take time to accept yourself. Self-love is a journey, and it takes time to learn how to love yourself fully. But trust me, it's worth it in the end."

Carrington listened intently as Jake began to open up about his struggles, He could see the pain and frustration in his friend's eyes as he spoke.

"I've been trying to go to therapy," Jake continued, "but it's just so hard to open up sometimes."

Carrington squeezed Jake's shoulder reassuringly. "You're not a burden, man. Therapy is there to help you work through your problems, not make you feel worse. And it takes time to open up to someone, especially if you're dealing with anxiety. But remember, it's not a weakness to seek help. It takes strength and courage to face your struggles head-on."

Jake nodded in agreement. He lifted his head and ruffled his hair. "Yeah, I'm just trying to just take care of myself better and just learn that its ok to be me"

Carrington smiled at Jake's determination. "That's a good mindset to have. It's important to prioritize self-care and learn to love yourself for who you are, flaws and all."

Jake nodded as he gets up after the long heavy conversation. "Thanks for listening to me man, i appreciate it."

Carrington stood up as well, giving Jake a warm smile. "No problem, man. I'm always here to listen and support you. And hey, remember what I said about self-care. Take care of yourself, okay? You're important."

He playfully punched Jake's shoulder. "And if you ever need to talk again, you know where to find me."

Jake laughed and rubbed his shoulder. "Right, right. Love you man, thank you" As he left the room and closes his door softly when he left.

Carrington watched as Jake left the room, his heart feeling full with love and affection for his friend. "Love you too, bro," he called out, just loud enough for Jake to hear.

He sat back down on his bed, feeling grateful for the conversation they just had. He was proud of Jake for opening up and taking steps towards self-care and personal growth.

The end
1,310 words