J+C: DRABBLES

☆"Am I Lovable?"☆

Cw: self doubt, emotional conversation, angst, brief yelling

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Jake is laying on his side. His head resting calmly on his boyfriend, Carrington's chest as he is looking outside of the window. His eyes had a twinge of sadness to them. As he is silently laying there in the bed.

Carrington would look out the window for a moment, phone in hand and scrolling on instagram. Though he would occasionally glance down at his boyfriend, seeing the sadness in his eyes.

He hated when his boyfriend was sad.
"Hey..." he spoke softly, gently wrapping an arm around Jake's waist.

Jake's eyes looked away from the window. Watching Carrington set his phone aside since he was holding it and scrolling earlier. He didn't say anything.

Carrington set his phone down on the nightstand before wrapping both of his arms around Jake. He pulled him closer to his body, his hand rubbing his side gently.

"Are you okay?" he asked in a gentle voice, looking down at Jake with a concerned look on his face.

Jake sighed, it sounded shaky and hurtful. Almost a sob left his lips but he held it in. He just kept this emotionless look in his facial expression.

Carrington frowned, feeling the shaky sigh. It was like a punch to the gut. His arms tightened around his boyfriend as he moved to where Jake was lying completely on top of him.

He began to run his fingers through Jake's hair, gently scratching his scalp. "Please tell me what's wrong," he said, voice full of concern.

Jake grunted softly as he gets comfortable on Carrington's body. Resting on top of him as he muttered, "No Because you'll get mad at me."

Carrington continued to gently scratch his scalp, massaging it softly as well. He gave a soft scoff, raising an eyebrow.

"You're not giving me much to go on here, love," he said, slightly teasing him. "How do you know I'll get mad?"

"Because it's a stupid question and you'll be mad at me if i ask it." Jake replied, looking up at Carrington with messy hair. His eyes watered up as he blinked a few times.

Carrington's heart ached as he saw Jake's eyes water up. He reached his free hand to cup his cheek, his thumb gently wiping away any tears that fell."Baby..." he whispered, "I promise you, I won't get mad. No matter what it is."

Jake shakes his head. Before he laid it down on Carrington's chest again. "...Forget it." As he feels the fabric of his boyfriend's shirt.

Carrington let out a soft sigh, his hand moving from Jake's cheek to his hair again. He continued to play with his hair, hoping to calm him down at least a bit.

"Baby..." he repeated, his voice still gentle. "Please tell me. I want to know what's bothering you. I don't like seeing you upset."

Jake felt the sensation of his hair being played with. He sighed softly. His eyes closed but he didn't say anything.

Carrington began to hum softly, his fingers gently massaging his scalp. He continued to run his fingers through his hair, occasionally stopping to rub the back of his neck.

"Just breathe for me, love," he said in a soothing voice. "I'm here, okay? You can tell me anything."

Jake opened his eyes. He slowly looked up at Carrington. "Am i lovable?" He asked in a soft, almost tearful voice.

Carrington felt his heart shatter. He gently lifted Jake's chin up so he could look at him, a shocked look on his face.

"Of course you're lovable," he said in a soft voice, his tone filled with shock and sadness. "What kind of question is that? You are the most lovable person in the world to me."