J+C: DRABBLES

☆Doubtful Love☆

cw: self doubt, insecure behavior, negative thoughts, brief discussion on death, angst, sleep issues

Please skip if uncomfortable with this one.

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Jake is laying his head on his boyfriend, Carrington's lap in the bedroom. He didn't speak, but just kept his eyes gazing out the stars outside of the window.

Carrington was playing with Jake's hair, running his fingers through the fluffy locks. He watched him silently for a moment, enjoying how peaceful and cute he looked in this moment.

He leaned down and placed a soft kiss to Jake's forehead. "What's going on in that pretty little head of yours?"

Jake looked away from the window. His brown eyes looked up at Carrington. "It doesn't matter," he softly replied as he looked away and back towards the window.

Carrington gently grabbed Jake's chin, turning his head back to look at him. He furrowed his eyebrows in concern, a pout on his face.

"It matters to me. C'mon, tell me." He spoke in a gentle tone, running his thumb over Jake's cheekbone.

Jake sat up. His hair falling over his eyes as he tucked up his legs. He looked out and stared at the stars and moon. "Will we die together or will i die alone?"

Carrington was taken back by the sudden question. It was definitely something he didn't expect to hear.

He quickly pulled Jake into his lap, his arms wrapping around his waist tightly. He buried his face into the crook of his neck, holding him as if he'd disappear any second.

"Don't talk like that, love. We're going to die together." He mumbled against his skin, his grip on him not loosening.

Jake relaxed in Carrington's lap. "It honestly scares me that I'm thinking like that." As he looked away from the window. "I just feel like.. I'm going be lonely when i die."

Carrington lifted his head up, resting his chin on Jake's shoulder. He sighed softly, continuing to rub his side in a comforting manner.

"You're not going to be lonely, Jakey. I'll always be by your side. Even when we're dead."

He spoke with so much sincerity, as if he really believed that their souls would be connected in death.

Jake pecked Carrington's cheek. "I hope so.." he muttered against the skin as he got up and walked to the window.

Carrington's eyes followed him as he moved to the window, his body instantly feeling cold without his warmth.

He stood up as well, walking up behind Jake and wrapping his arms around his waist once more. He rested his chin on his shoulder, looking out the window with him.

Jake felt Carrington's head on his shoulder. A small smile grows on his face but it faded away. "Hey, hon?" He asked softly, "Do you really think we're going to love each other forever?"

"Absolutely."

Carrington responded almost immediately. He gave Jake a small squeeze, as if to emphasize his point.

"There's no one else I want to be with other than you, Jake. I can't see myself loving anyone else in the future."

Jake sighed, "Do you feel stuck with me? Like you want to escape but you just can't?" As he looked at Carrington now.

Carrington frowned at the question, shaking his head vigorously."No. I'm not stuck with you. I'm with you because I want to be. I don't feel trapped, nor do I feel like I can't leave you."