J+C: DRABBLES

☆Self-Acceptence☆

[ Jake is feeling ashamed of having autism and his boyfriend Carrington helps him through it and helps Jake feel more acceptance. ]

Cw: feeling ashamed for having a disability, insecurities, depressive mood .

___________________________________________

Jake is laying in bed. He couldn't sleep. He is tossing and turning next to his boyfriend, Carrington. Trying to get some shut-eye but to no success. He sits up and glances at the alarm clock that is resting on the dresser in the corner of his(Jake's) bedroom. A soft sigh left his lips, his thoughts are eating at him. Making him feel shameful and vulnerable.

Carrington stirred as he felt the bed shift next to him. He opened his eyes, squinting in the darkness to see what was going on.

He saw Jake sitting up in bed, his expression troubled. "Babe?" he whispered, his voice still heavy with sleep. "What's wrong?"

Jake's expression immediately switched to a numb expression. His eyes looked over. "Sorry, did i wake you up?" He asked. "I didn't mean too. I'm thirsty." He made the excuse as he got out of bed and walked out of the room.

Carrington watched as Jake left the room, his heart aching at the sight of his boyfriend's expression. He knew something was wrong, but he also knew that Jake wouldn't open up easily.

He sat up in bed, rubbing his eyes tiredly. He could hear the sound of the kitchen faucet running from down the hall, and he decided to follow Jake to see if he was okay.

Jake turned on the faucet. He is currently getting himself a glass of water. He filled the glass and turned the sink off. Then turned his head when he heard Carrington's footsteps approaching the kitchen.

Carrington walked into the kitchen, his eyes locking onto Jake's form. He could see the tension in his boyfriend's shoulders, even from a distance.

He walked up behind him and wrapped his arms around his waist, resting his chin on Jake's shoulder. "Are you okay, love?" he asked softly, his voice laced with concern.

"Yeah, why wouldn't i be?" Jake asked as he brought the glass to his lips and takes a few sips. A bit defensive by the question.

Carrington could sense the defensiveness in Jake's voice, and he knew that something was definitely bothering him. He tightened his grip around his waist, pulling him closer.

"Because you can't sleep," he said gently. "And you've been tossing and turning all night. Something's keeping you awake."

Jake sets his glass down onto the counter. He leaned back against the hug from his behind. "just can't sleep," he replied. He turned around and kissed Carrington's cheek. Then he walked upstairs and back to his bedroom.

Carrington watched as Jake walked away, a sense of frustration building up inside of him. He could tell that his boyfriend was trying to brush off his concern, but he wasn't going to let it go that easily.

He followed Jake back up to their bedroom, his mind racing with worry. He closed the door behind him and sat down on the bed, waiting for Jake to join him.

Jake walked over to the bed. He laid back down and pulled the blanket over himself. Rolling over so his back is facing Carrington.

Carrington sighed and laid down next to Jake, scooting closer to him. He wrapped his arm around his waist, pulling him against his chest.

"Babe, please talk to me," he whispered, his voice pleading. "I know something's wrong. You can't hide it from me."

Jake sighed. Knowing that Carrington would wasn't going to drop this. He partly turned his head, "I just feel.. shame." As he turned his head back to the wall.