Subject; LOVE

Subject;97

A smile flashed on my lips the moment I open my eyes. Sinong hindi matutuwa kung gigising ka kinaumagahan ang bubungad sayo ay ang maamong muka ng babaeng mahal mo habang nakayakap ito sayo?

I remove the few strand of her hair that's covering her beautiful face.

"How can I let you go, baby? How can I free myself from you? When I am the one who caged myself inside and you are the only key." I whispered. I stares at her beautiful face.

"Gusto kitang ipagkait sa lahat... Gusto kong nasa tabi lang kita pero kung makikita kang nasasaktan ng dahil sa akin ay kaya kong isuko ang mga gusto ko." Bulong ko. I carefully cares her face. I take a deep breath before slowly remove her arm on me. Dahan-dahan akong bumangon, ingat na ingat na hindi ito magising.

I stares at her peaceful sleep for a seconds before I lean in and planted a soft kiss on her temple.

I went inside the bathroom and took a shower.

Minutes past, I dried myself before opening the door only to see her sneaking out of the room. I cleaned my fist.

I heaved my breath before speaking.

"And where are you going?" I ask firmly. Making her jolt in her place. Were you about to leave baby without telling me why did you follow here?

Last night, I planned to ask her why she's here but she immediately fell asleep so I decided to ask her today when she wakes up. But frustration were slowly filling me seeing her sneaking out of my room. The fuck! I won't let her go right now.

"Pan..." I call her in a low tone. When I didn't get any response from her, I took a step forward.

I keep taking steps towards her until I reach her. I put my hand on the door and push it back to close it again.

"Face and answer me, baby..." I utter in a heavy voice.

"Pan... I'm getting impatient." I said but still no response.

"Don't make it hard for me, face me, Pan." I ordered her. Still she didn't even move a muscle.

"Pan, are you-?" Hindi ko nagawang tapusin ang aking sasabihin ng bigla itong humarap sa akin. Then she hug me as I hear her sobs. Fuck!

I calmed down myself. Damn, did I scare her?

I put my arm on her waist my my other hand were caressing her hair.

"Hey... hush, baby. What happened? Why are you crying?" Sunod sunod kong tanong. "You're making me worry, baby..."

Kumalas ako sa pagkakayakap dito at hinarap ito. Then I saw her teary eyes, namumula ito at basa rin ang kanyang pilik-mata dahil sa luha. My eyes immediately soften after seeing her wet eyes. I carefully wipe her tears using my thumb.

"Tell me why, baby? Hm? Why are you crying?" I softly ask her. Her sobs became more loud and buried her face again on my chest while hugging me.

"I-I'm sorry..." The first two words she utter that it almost did not reach my ears.

"Hush, why are you saying sorry, hm?" Malambing na tanong ko dito. I'm still hugging her, caressing her hair to calm her down. Mariin akong napapikit ng maramdaman ang kuko nitong bumaon sa aking likod dahil wala naman akong suot na damit at tanging ang tuwalyang nakatapis lamang sa aking bewang ang nagsisilbing harang upang takpan ang aking ibaba.

Dahan-dahan ko itong inilayo sa akin. I held her chin and force her to look at me.

"What's wrong?" I ask softly.

"S-sorry... "

"Sorry for what, baby? Tell me." I urge her with my calm voice.

"I... I lied to you... For throwing hurtful words to you..." My lips parted with her words.

"Hey, it's nothing. Don't feel bad about it, baby. Besides, I deserved all of it, right?" I ask her with a gentle smile in my lips. Umiling ito ng paulit-ulit.

"L-Lix..."

Oh, god... How I wished everyday to hear her call me in that name again.

"I'm sorry... I lied, everything I said to you... wasn't true... I lied to you. Yes, we had twins but... I only delivered one baby when I gave birth. The other one... I got miscarriage." Hearing that, I didn't think twice. I pulled her and hugged her in my arms. I felt my eyes watered. Damn, my baby, that's probably hard for her.

"I didn't know, I'm sorry for asking about our child." I whisper and kissed her temple. She sobbed. "I'm sorry, I wasn't there with you..."

"T-the doctor said, it happened sometimes. Pero hindi ko matanggap na nawalan ako ng anak..."

It hurts hearing those words from her. It tears me million times. And I'm disappointed with myself that I'm not there for her those times.

"A-alam mo bang gusto kang makilala ng anak natin? But he's not asking me when will he meet you... he's... he's waiting for me to introduce you to him." I smile a bit. Anak natin... How I love to hear it. May anak kami. Damn... I want to jump in happiness.

"D-do you want to meet y-your son?" Tanong nito ng kusa itong humiwalay sa yakap. Diretso ko itong tiningnan sa kanyang mga mata. "He badly wants to meet you... nag... nagtampo pa nga nung nangako akong pag-uwi ko ay k-kasama kita at ipapakilala sa kanya kaso nung pumunta ako sa hospital discharged ka na daw." She said and chuckle a bit.

"You don't know how much I wanted to meet our child when I saw that ultrasound, baby. That pushed me to explain to you, but there, you're still mad." Mahina kong saad. Saglit itong natahimik bago ito tumingin sa akin ng may pagtataka sa kanyang magandang muka.

"W-wait... y-you remember me?"