First Kiss Chapter one. Trying to work up the nerve!

Chapter 105

Chapter 105

Severus was at his home in Spinners End he was feeling a whirlwind of emotions today and was not quite sure how to get through them at this time. Snape sat at the kitchen table, he had a glass of elf wine in his hand as he thought continuously about how Black had escape again, and he was the one responsible for Lily’s death. He growled deep in his throat as he threw his wine glass away from him to smash upon the wall opposite him.

“It’s not fair Lily it’s not fair, I wanted to get Black for you but I failed, you came to my dreams and punished me for it, but I don’t know what to do. How can I find him now, the Daily Prophet keeps saying he’s been sighted but by the time I get there he’ll be long gone from there?”

Snape now threw the bottle of elf wine against the wall to join the glass. He glared at the wine as though the spreading blood red wine was Lily’s spilt blood reminding him of losing her to death. Snape laughed humorously at the words Dumbledore had said to him before. “Death is life’s next big adventure.” Severus frowned at these words.

“Where the adventure in it, if the only woman I love had gone onto her next adventure without me and instead has gone with a man who is not worthy of her love.” Snape snarled as he flung him self from the chair and stormed out of the kitchen.

“Big adventure, there is none for me.” He looked around the small living room at the stuff chair and couch with the old table. “Just loneliness and solitude and to never know your touch again, to never know the way you taste, when our lips meet, memories that’s all I have. Memories.” Snape walked past the furniture and to his bedroom, he waved his wand and the shelves of books moved aside so that he could walk through the open door. Snape sat down on the stuff chair he had in there, looking sadly around his room. He looked at the old record player with a record waiting to be played. Severus felt a great rush of desire to fling it against the wall too, as he looked at it, the way it mocked him for his lonely memories, memories of such happier times where they would sing together or just listen to the music while talking or eating.  

“Why did you have to die Lily, you could have stayed alive, you didn’t need to die; I heard what your son said. The Dark Lord gave you a chance to live after killing James, but you wouldn’t take it, you told him to kill you instead of your son.” Snape felt the tears slip down his cheeks again. “I wanted you to stay alive Li; I never wanted you to leave me. I have no one now; I never will again, you were my life Lily, my whole life.” Severus turned his eyes from the record player for fear of it laughing at him or smiling sadly with Lily’s face.  

Severus sat quietly after this just watching the far corner of his room. He never noticed the owl pecking hard on the window of his bedroom as he sat in a stupor of depression.

The owl was becoming more agitated as it pecked harder and harder on the window until the window finally broke from the force of it. Snape jumped and realized an owl had flown inside dropping a scroll onto of his head. He looked at the rolled up parchment as the owl flew back out the broken window.  

“Who is writing to me?” Snape didn’t pick it up right away he watched it sitting on the floor by one black booted foot. “It must be Dumbledore checking on me, he knew I was upset when I left.” Snape gave the rolled parchment a small push to see that the writing was not Dumbledore’s slanted loopy writing but a chicken scratched scrawl.

“Who is that?” Snape wondered briefly as he bent over to pick it up. Severus unrolled it to read it, his eyes widen for a moment before narrowing.

            Severus Snape,

I shall be in the area soon for my prize student Victor Krum is going to be in the Quiddich final, Bulgarian against England. I have some extra tickets; I had thought you and a few others might enjoy going to watch the match. It shall be very nice to see each other again after all this time apart, yours in good faith and Darkness.