First Kiss Chapter one. Trying to work up the nerve!

Chapter 31 Dilemmas and half truths

Chapter 31 Dilemmas and Half Truths

Lily sigh softly as she lay on the bed in the hospital ward, she was still watching the door where James had left not too long ago. Lily sat up with the pillow against her back; she didn’t feel remotely like sleeping. What she did feel like was having her diary there. Lily had taken up writing in the diary a few months before the baby was born. She found that writing help to get her thoughts straight and to see what it was that may need to be examined more closely. 

Lily looked down toward the nurses office, she knew there was no way Madam Pomfrey would let her leave to go and retrieve it from the girls dormitory. She knew what the nurse would say. Anything needed written down will wait until tomorrow. Lily smirked at this thought.

It might wait, but her heart didn’t want it to wait. Lily pulled out her necklace, the beautiful silver necklace with an elegant L on it. Lily slipped her nail in between the two halves and popped it open. Lily smiled down at the picture of Severus and little Severus inside.

“I love you Sev, I know now I should have just told you this. Maybe you’d have stayed away from the Death Eaters.”

The click of the door brought Lily’s attention back to the area around her.

She turned to see who was at the door. Lily’s eyes grew large as she watched Severus walk inside, stealing furtive glances around the room.

Severus seemed to think it was clear enough to go inside and walked straight to her bed.

“Here.” Severus handed her a small brown paper bag.

Lily took the bag in her hands, and then with a glance up at Snape peeked inside to see several sugar cookies.

“Sev, did you?” Lily asked.

Severus shifted a bit as though uncomfortable with the thought that he might get caught in here with her.

Severus looked around the room before his eyes fell on the locket; he could see his picture smiling up at him.

“Li” Severus gave all the impression of wanting to say more much, much more. Severus instead turned to head for the door. She still has my picture in the locket I gave her; does it mean she … loves me still?

“Sev please,” Lily called to him.

Severus looked back sadly at her, his eyes brimming with tears.

“I want… I  yyyyooo” Severus closed his eyes wrenched open the door and bolted out into the hall. I can’t stay what if she doesn’t love me what if she replaces my picture with his? Snape thought painfully as he ran down the hall.

“Please Sev,” Lily called out to him but he did not return. Lily rolled over and soaked her pillow with her tears.

The next day Lily was free to go, the bump she had sustained was not visible nor was it sore there to the touch. Lily walked back to the common room taking a few short cuts in the hidden passages behind walls that would cut out many steps and extra hallways and of course other people.

Lily had climbed through the portrait hole to find it was empty inside the common room. Lily knew people were probably still eating before going to class. Lily looked around at the stuff chairs the crowded tables and the worn couch.

Lily walked up to the dormitories and started looking through the small bedside table to find her blue cover leather diary. Lily pulled it out and her small canary quill she had bought for it’s easy to carry size. Lily carried them with her to the portrait hole. She didn’t feel much like going to classes today and figured she skivvy them and relax with her diary out in a private area of the lake.