Sunday morning and the weather was rubbish. I was sensing some pathetic fallacy. The atmosphere at home was just as grey and dull as outside. I wish Tris was here, I know the mood would have been a lot more livelier. I rang him when I got home from Brad's last night and I probably spent another hour crying to him down the phone. I thought I'd be all cried out by now! When I left Brad he seemed fine, still upset but he wasn't as much of a state as I was. It was nice having a boyfriend who felt what I felt, and not even in one of those cringey couple type ways! Just because he's always looked at my parents as his second parents so he knew exactly how I was feeling.
I went downstairs to make breakfast for my parents but found a note saying they had to go to the hospital for a routine check up on my dad. The hospital was quite far away, over an hours drive, so it looks like I'm home alone yet again. I decided to head over to Brad's. Yes, I'm aware of the fact I was in my pyjamas but oh well, it's not like I'm about to get scouted by a modelling agency on the way over.
I was greeted by an excitable Jesse but a very worried looking Anne-Marie. She said that Brad had been up in his room ever since I left last night and he'd been throwing up for most of the night. He wasn't ill or anything so she couldn't figure out the problem. She took Jesse on her walk and left us alone to talk.
I slowly went up to Brad's room and gently knocked on the door that opened slightly. There was no answer so I went in.
'Brad? Brad darling, are you okay?'
His room was an absolute state and it smelt pretty bad too. Whilst I was scanning the mess in his room I came across Brad, just staring at me. His eyes were bloodshot.
'Brad?' I stared at him.
'Alright darling? And how's my beautiful girl today?' He stumbled over to me to give me a kiss.
'Ew!' I pushed him away as I smelt the alcohol on his breath.
'What's the matter darling? Don't I get a morning kiss?'
I stood far back not knowing who this guy in front of me was. This wasn't my Brad. My Brad never drank more than he could handle. My Brad certainly never drank alone. His floor was covered in so many empty bottles, I felt disgusted.
'Come here baby' he patted the bed hinting to come and sit next to him. 'Don't be scared, it's only me'
I slowly walked over, scared out of my wits. I sat down but not next to him, I left a big gap between us.
'Oh don't be like that sweetheart! You know I wouldn't hurt you, I just want to hug you' he reached out his arms.
I moved to hug him but pulled back instantly. The smell put me off too much.
'Here, how about I take a chewing gum. Then do I get a kiss?' I stayed silent as he asked me. He did it anyway, popped it in his mouth then came over to me.
I was sat on his bed with my back against the wall. Brad had placed himself right next to me but had his legs draped over me. I started to feel uncomfortable. He took my face into his hands and placed a kiss on my lips. When I closed my eyes it felt normal, like I was just kissing Brad. When I opened them again I came back to reality. I pulled away from him once again. He held onto my hand, not letting me go.
'Ah Brad you're-you're hurting me, p-please let go' I felt his grip getting tighter around my wrist. He pulled me onto his lap and placed his hands around my waist.
'You know you're so beautiful in the mornings' he said, tucking my hair behind my ears.
'Brad. Brad I don't want to do this...'
He ignored my request and began moving his hand up to remove my top. I grabbed his hand and told him to stop. He didn't listen. He quicky flipped us over so he was straddling me and he had my arms pinned down under him.
'B-Brad you're scaring me. Please stop, this isn't you!' I screamed out. 'You know this isn't you!'
He reached out to a bottle on his beside cabinet and took a large gulp then threw it on the floor.
'Y'know-You know I l-love you don't yer' his words began to slur. He became more aggressive.
'Brad stop, you know you don't want this! You don't want to put me through this!' I whispered, 'not after last time' I closed my eyes tight as he came close to me.
'It's okay, I wont hurt you' his deep chuckle played through my ears and sent shivers down my body.
'Brad please' I whispered, trying not to cry.
His hands worked their way down my body as I was struggling to get out from under him. It was no use. As time went on I felt myself getting weaker and weaker, I couldn't stop him. I looked into his eyes, his bloodshot eyes, thinking how could this happen.
...
I was at home now. I was sat in silence on my bedroom floor, with my knees up against my chest. I wasn't even crying, I was just sat staring into space. I had no emotions left to feel. I feel like what just happened had sucked out everything I could possibly feel, I felt empty. I showered at least 5 times but I couldn't wash away what Brad had done. If only he knew. I kept telling myself it was the alcohol that did it all. That still wasn't an excuse.
*brrrinnng*
I jumped at the sound of my phone ringing. I didn't move, I left it to go to answer phone. It was starting to get dark and the silence through the house was peaceful. I had become immune to the sound of my phone ringing and the doorbell going off.
'Jas?' I heard my mum call through the house. 'Oh she must be out or over at Brad's. No lights are on' she said to my dad.
They carried on with what they were doing, totally oblivious I was upstairs. It reached about 10:30 as that's what time my mum usually went to bed. She walked straight past my room, still not noticing me. My dad came upstairs about an hour later and put the hallway light on which was just outside my room. He always looked into my room before going to sleep even if I wasn't at home. He didn't notice me either. Both of them went to sleep but soon woke up at the sound of my phone going off again.
'Oh Jas must be back' I heard my mum say to my dad.
My phone kept ringing and ringing and ringing. My dad called out for me, no answer. He came into my room and called my name again. He then turned on the light and saw me, still huddled in the corner of my room.
'RACHEL GET IN HERE NOW!' He ran over to me crying. 'Darling, are you okay? What's happened? It's dad, please just talk to me' he began to panic. 'Rach, she's not moving and she's frozen. I think she's been here the whole time! What do we do? Do we phone the police or doctor or hospital? Shall I phone Brad?'
That name. Just hearing his name made me freeze up. I blinked.
'Jasmine, darling, do you want me to get Brad for you?' Unable to move my mouth, I simply blinked again. 'Is that a yes?' I shot my eyes to my dad, he got startled and jumped back.
'Rach, get the hospital on the phone NOW' he wrapped my duvet around me, rocking me in his arms. He kept kissing my forehead telling me it'll be okay.
My phone went off again and he reached out for it. 'Sweetie, it's Brad. Shall I answer it?' The ringing stopped and my dad saw my lock screen. 'Jas, you have 48 missed calls from Brad! What's wrong? What's happened? Please speak to me, say anything. I just want to help you'
I was so numb to everything around me, I couldn't move or even try to speak. The ambulance came to take me away, all these voices talking around me became a blur. I had the whole world blocked out.
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Eee I finally brought myself to post this chapter! I've been re-reading it so many times to make sure it's alright, I hope you guys don't get put off the story because the style of writing has changed :// please let me know what you think though, I want to know if it's alright!
x
