I stormed home feeling so irritated and angry. My mum was out so I didn't have anyone to rant to. I felt like just punching something or screaming at someone everything that was going wrong in my life. That would be a long list.
Do you ever feel like just when things are going right, something's there to bring it all down again?
Life.
I put on my coat and got a taxi to go and see my dad. It was raining but that didn't stop me. I hadn't gone to visit him in a while so why not go tonight?
Hey dad,
I'm so sorry I haven't come in a while, exam season has been a nightmare. Finally they're all done so now we play the waiting game. Remember when you'd always pick me up after my last exam and take me out for dinner? Yeah, that was great. So I'm sure you're looking down on me and seeing how everything is falling apart again.. I don't know what's going to happen or how I'm about to deal with it all but I hope it's the right way and that I'm still making you proud.
Did you and mum ever go through rocky patches in your relationship? You know, apart from earlier this year of course.. Who am I kidding, you two were a power couple. Of course you got through it. Sometimes I feel like me and Brad are a power couple then other times it just ends in drama or tears. Anyway, I guess I should stop coming here just to rant.. I'm sorry. I do miss you, a lot. Mum does too but she's just better at hiding it.
I suppose I should be getting back before this rain gets any worse. I'll be back soon, promise. I love youI began walking home instead of taking a taxi because I liked walks by myself. It gives you loads of thinking time.
*1 message from Mum*
'Hey sweetheart, I heard you left Brad's house early. Are you ok? I'm on my way home xx'
*1 message to Mum*
'I'm fine, I just went to see dad and I'm walking back now. See you soon xx'
I don't even know what I began thinking of on my way home. It started raining a bit more so I put my hood up and sped up my walking. I looking at my phone and still nothing from Brad. I didn't understand why he was suddenly defending everything Lucy did when a month ago he definitely would have been team Jas. I decided to leave it for the night and see what happens tomorrow. The thing with me is that once something annoys me I hate talking about it constantly so I need a few days to cool off.
The rain started getting heavier and it began pouring down. I ran under the nearest thing to shelter myself while I rummaged around my phone to call my mum. As I was doing so a car pulled up and the window went down.
'Jas? Jas, are you ok?'
It was James.
'Yeah I'm fine, I'm just getting my mum to pick me up'
'Are you sure? I don't mind dropping you home?'
'Really? That would be a lot of help actually'
'Course! Jump in'
I got in the car and told my mum not to worry.
'So how come you're out here and not at Brad's?'
'It died down pretty soon after you left to be honest. The girls left after you did and Con went home too so it was just me, Tris, Brad and Lucy. I felt a bit awkward so I decided to leave'
'Ohh fair enough. Was much said after I left?'
'Not really. So how are things with you and Brad?'
'Fine. Why?'
James just looked at me.
'Alright so we're going through a bit of a rough patch at the moment. All couples do. It's nothing major'
'I'm sure it's not easy seeing your boyfriend getting along with his ex girlfriend right in front of your face. I'm sorry'
'I really don't need you feeling sorry for me ok, can we just leave it'
We pulled up outside my house and I got out of the car. I felt bad for snapping at James but I don't like other people having opinions about my relationship. The only people that needed to be talking about it were Brad and I.
I got in and wiped my shoes on the mat, hung my coat up and went into the kitchen to make some hot chocolate. I decided to send James a quick text apologising for being snappy earlier because I felt bad.
'Mum, I'm home!' I yelled through the house, not knowing where she was. 'Oh hey!' She was in the kitchen.
'Thought you might want this when you got in' she handed me a mug with hot chocolate in.
'You're a star! I was literally just about to make myself some!'
'Ah see, great minds think alike' she laughed.
'This tastes so good!'
'So go on then, what's happening with Brad? The girls did sound worried earlier'
'You saw them?'
'They came round when I got back to see if you were alright but I told them you were out. Are you ok?'
'I'm allowed to get upset that he keeps defending Lucy right? Like we were all laughing about something that happened earlier with her and Brad was the only one who stuck up for her. Also they kept talking about how much she loved his family.. Even his mum was confused as to why she was round!'
'Hang on, I thought you weren't friends with her?'
'I'm not, the boys are'
My mum was confused.
'I know, I don't get it either. So I couldn't leave her alone with the boys tonight, that's why I went'
We heard the door open and saw Tris come in.
'Hiya darling, you alright?' Mum got up to make Tris some hot chocolate too.
Tristan seemed to be followed in by someone else. It was Lucy.
'Oh I really don't need this right now Tris'
'She's come to apologise'
'Bye I'm going to bed'
I got up and walked straight past them. The last thing I wanted right now was to listen to her let alone talk to her. I just wanted my bed. I looked at my phone before getting into bed, still nothing from Brad. I just wish I could run over there and tell him everything that I'm feeling but I don't even know how I'm feeling myself. Life sucked but that was life I guess.
