Osomatsu-San x Reader ONE SHOTS

No Shame (Depressed!Todomatsu x Reader)

Trigger warning: Contains self harm and self-loathing

Sorry I was craving angst.

💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎

Todomatsu sighed as he looked down at his bare legs whilst in the bathroom. Though he always seemed so confident and had high self esteem, secretly, he was extremely self conscious and insecure. He just refused to talk about or show he even cared about his insecurities as to not worry his brothers and friends. ESPECIALLY you who just so happened to be his girlfriend.

"Ugh I'm so fat....." He complained, poking at his stomach and thighs.

With his eyes welled up with tears, he clutched at the skin on his legs that he for some reason hated. He found them to be so hideous. He wanted to be..... thinner......

"Why do I have to be so goddamn fat?" He choked, looking at his miserable face in the mirror, making him cry harder. His brothers weren't home, so he didn't have to worry about being humiliated about his self consciousness. "I'm so ugly....."

He felt like he was drowning, being ripped in half, and burned by the dark, self-deprecating thoughts that flooded his mind. He felt as though (actually he knew for a fact) that if he were to express his feelings of doubt to you or anyone that cared about him, they would lecture him.

'You're not fat! You're beautiful!' Is what they would say. The same generic thing every single time.

He thought it would all be a bunch of lies. His philosophy was "how can anyone love you if you don't even love yourself?" But, even if you knew of his insecurities, you'd still love him. Too bad Todomatsu didn't realize this.

"They probably already think I'm fat.... I'm a pig....." He mumbled to himself, beginning to dig through his drawers by the sink.

"Damnit where did I put it?!?!" He sobbed, trying to find his beloved silver friend.

He kept glancing between the drawers and the deep scars that spotted upon his once clean thighs. His hands pushed through the medication, acne cream, lotion, and other things in the drawer, still trying to find the dangerous object.

"COME ON GODDAMNIT!" He screamed, slamming the compartment shut and opening the one underneath.

There was a photo of your in the next drawer, making him more upset.

"Finally....!" He breathed out when he found his rusted razor.

"Hi... I missed you....." He mumbled, eying the razor.

Slowly, he lifted the razor above his thigh and prepared to scar his lovely skin yet again.

As he was about to slice into himself, your ringtone rang across the bathroom. Knowing you would freak out if he didn't answer it.

"H-hello?" He answered, shaking slightly and trying not to cry over the phone.

"Hi Totty! What's up?" You asked, giggling.

He looked down at the razor again. "Nothing much. What about you?"

"Ah. Same as you! Do you mind if I come over later?"

He looked at the clock on the wall. 16:37. "Y-yeah what time would you come?"

On the other line, you looked at your clock as he did. "Ah maybe two or three hours..... Is that okay...?"