Osomatsu-San x Reader ONE SHOTS

Cheesy AF (Karamatsu x Cheesy!Reader)

A tap on your shoulder interrupted your morning reading and you almost immediately slapped the person who intervened with the focus you had. Yet, you calmed down when it was your boyfriend who had just woken up. He offered you a greeting and kissed your forehead before sitting in the seat next to you, placing his coffee on the table. You returned to your reading with a smile spread across your face as the man beside you stroked your knee with his thumb.

Eventually, you were stopped yet again with the odd feeling that someone was staring at you and as suspected, someone was. The man whom you loved dearly was staring at you as though he had something important to say. So, you quirked a brow and gestured him to speak what he had on his mind.

Though, you quickly realized that was a huge mistake.

"Are you a magician, my darling? Because whenever I lay my eyes upon you, everyone else disappears!" Karamatsu told, winking at you and causing you to spit out your juice. A groan left your mouth when you realized you had gotten the juice on your book.

So he was going to act like that. Well Karamatsu, two could play at that game.

You placed your hand in his upper arm, making his face turn fifty shades of rose. For a moment, you just looked him dead in the eyes, getting lost in the pools that were his colorful irises.

"Oh Karamatsu.... Do you by any chance have a map?"

He flinched and let out a confused sound. "A map? For what?"

"I just got lost in your eyes...~" You smirked, pressing a gentle kiss to his nose.

The poor man was at his breaking point, clutching at his sleep pants to the point where his knuckles had turned whiter than an eggshell. He bit his lip and he could've sworn steam was arising from his burning face. You could tell his cool persona was cracking and beginning to fade when his usual smirk began to falter and twitch.

"E-eh? My sweet!" He cleared his throat, nervous about his next pick up line, seeing as how it was a bit suggestive. "F-for some reason, I was feeling a little off this morning. But when you c-came along... You definitely turned me on!"

In humiliation, you buried your face into your palms, laughing at the line and the fact that he stuttered through something so sultry. What a sweetie of a boyfriend. It took a minute for you to recover from the innuendo, but once you did, you bounced right back into the cheesiness you'd been portraying. He sat there, watching you with the sweetest smile on his face, flinching and going back into a smirk when you looked back at him.

"They say Disneyland is the happiest place on earth. Well apparently, no one has ever been standing next to you!" You told, playfully punching his shoulder and giggling when you saw his yet again flustered face.

You knew he never got much praise at home, so compliments always flustered him even though you'd been speaking the sweet words for years. Thus, you made it your mission to make him as embarrassed as you could. And hell did it feel good.

"Are you sure you're not tired? You've been running through my mind all day!" He confidently told, winking and letting out his signature 'heh' at the end.

"Kara! It's nine in the morning!" You laughed, seeing how it was adorable how he said 'all day' when he had just woken up minutes ago. How you loved your pure sweetie of a lover.

Once he realized his fault, he apologized and looked away, feeling slightly stupid. Though, that quickly changed when you reassured him with a hug and and a kiss to his plumped lips. He pulled you back onto the couch, him on his back with you on his stomach. You were laying down on top of him, but you quickly repositioned yourself to sit up on top of him for convenience and easier access to see his embarrassed face.

You offered him the most innocent smile you could muster, cradling your hands together with a giggle. "Aside from being sexy, what do you do for a living?"

He let out one of those shocked sounds, his face returning to the crimson color it had just recovered from. You chuckled at his reaction and booped his nose, making his heart swell and almost burst.

"Not much I'm afraid! I have yet to find a job!" He said with a boasting tone that shouldn't have been used with the sentence unless he was genuinely proud of being unemployed. "Say... You're really pretty! And I'm cute! Together, we're pretty cute!"

You chortled at the line, thinking it was absolutely cheesy. Though, all these pick up lines were rather cliché... you snapped out of your laughing when Karamatsu flicked your forehead playfully. When you stopped laughing, you stared at him and a few seconds later, the two of you were thrown into a fit of laughter together. This went on for a while and eventually, you got tired from laughing and gave yourself a minute to breathe. You pulled out your phone and dialed Karamatsu's number. When his phone rang, he looked at you questioningly before answering.

"Hello~" You began, winking at him and watching him choke on air for a second.

"H-hello!"

"I'm a thief... And sir, I'm afraid I'm here to steal your heart!" You beamed, hanging up and leaning down to press another kiss to his quivering lips.

"Heh..." He paused, the two of you sitting in silence for a moment. "There must be something wrong with my eyes." He squinted as he said this.

You immediately panicked, "Holy crap! Are you okay? I can take you to the eye doct-"

"I can't seem to take them off of you~" He shot a finger gun at you.

You pouted for a moment, crossing your arms and sticking out your bottom lip in half anger and half playfulness. "No fair! You actually had me worried that your eyes were messed up! You're so rude, Kara-Chan!"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" He ran his hand through your hair and played with the silky mass in his fingers. This calmed you down real quick and he knew darn well it did too. "I know you regarded yourself as a thief, but my dear, is that passed down in your family? Was your father a thief? Because someone stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes!"

He looked up for a moment, mouth agape and eyes squinted before popping his head back forward into his arm for a sneeze.

You gave him a pat on the shoulder. "I'd say god bless you, but it looks like he already did!"

He gazed at you with wide eyes, shocked at how you managed to make a pick up line for so perfectly with his sneeze. The man couldn't think of anything else to come up with but he instead pulled you back down on top of him, kissing the top of your head as he did so. It was silent for a long while and the two of you enjoyed it that way.

"I value my breathe, so I'd appreciate it if you didn't take it from me every time I see you~"

"KARAMATSU!"