Osomatsu-San x Reader ONE SHOTS

Loathing (Ichimatsu x SelfHarming!Reader)

Requested by ReneeAlbanez101 !!! Hope this was okay!

Angst warning! As told by the title, mentions self harm and suicidal thoughts.

Ichimatsu may seem OOC but I wrote him the way I think he would act if someone he really loved and cared about was to hurt themselves. It's just how I would view him in the situation.

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I'm annoying.... Everyone I meet is immediately burdened and I annoy the living shit out of them.....

Crybaby...... I cry over the dumbest crap and I'm so over sensitive. Adds to my annoying self.

Dumb..... I can't do anything right. I fail at everything I try to do and no matter how hard I try, I mess up.

Fat..... Look at me. I have the most disgusting body. Who would want to be around someone like me?

Gross..... I can't do anything graceful or as nice as other people because I am so gross.

Idiot..... Again. Related to dumb. I can't analyze stuff like other people can and I can't do anything as well as them.

Ugly..... I hate my face.... Look at these pimples..... My ugly nose..... My ugly wrists..... I'm just ugly.

Stubborn.... I can't be grateful for anything can I? I appreciate nothing. I guess it's because I don't deserve it. How pathetic.

Useless..... If I was gone, that'd make things easier for everyone right? A million more smiles would appear if I just left.

Weak..... I can't escape myself. I'm not strong enough.

You cried as you mentally wrote down all the things you hated about yourself, all the things you were and forever would be. Your eyes were puffy and red, glazed over with tears and when you looked at yourself in the mirror, your sobbing got harder. The blood from your wrists dripping onto the sink, staining the marble countertop. The room was messy with your blood from the flaws that you added to your once perfect skin.

You were home alone. Your boyfriend, Ichimatsu was out feeding cats and getting groceries so he wasn't in your shared apartment. He had moved in a few months prior to the current event going on because he was wanting to escape his brothers. There was another reason though, that reason being that he knew of your low mental state from past and recent suicide attempts. He wasn't stupid- he struggled with stuff like that at one point so he could identify other people who struggled. Ichimatsu believed you struggled way harder than he himself and though he knew he couldn't get you to fully rid of your self-harming ways, he thought living with you, his lovely gilfriend, would at least slightly diminish the problem. He never left you at home by yourself because of fear that you would do something, but today, he seemed to trust you. And boy was that a big mistake. He'd find that out when he returned home.

"WORTHLESS!" You screamed as you punched the innocent mirror with as much force as you could muster. The glass from the mirror broke off, shards stabbing into your hand, making you scream more.

You sank to the floor, sitting atop glass and blood, clutching your head in your hands.

"I deserve it.... I deserve it..... I deserve it....." You mumbled to yourself as you watched the blood plop down on your lap.