Luke's Diary: An unlucky man in a zombie apocalypse. Days 601 - 756

Day 659: Saturday 16th June 2018

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Day 659
Saturday 16th June 2018

It's been a horrible day. I've never really felt like this before; angry, anxious, shocked, upset. I've been snapping everyone and as expected Esther and I had a right row.

In the morning Mike gently knocked on my bedroom door and opened it. I looked up as I saw the Awesome Amazing Action Alex doll appear from the corner. Mike squeezed it. "Don't worry Luke," the action figure said in it's deeply, manly tone, "I still love you. We'll be together forever. You're my best friend in the whole wide world. I think you're terrible." At that point Mike stuck his head round the door. "Sorry babes," said Mike, "It was meant to say 'terribly nice and very special but the recording ran out."  Mike tentatively entered the room. "You OK?" He asked. I gave me a stern stare to suggest he was asking a stupid question. "Sorry," said Mike, "I suppose it's a silly question isn't it?" "Oh no Mike," I angrily and sarcastically said, "I mean I get stuck in the back of the car with my mad Auntie, driving me crazy, you chuck your infected p*ss all over, I have to go to a fake funeral service and take part in a fake death, and then I come back here, the place is trashed, our stuff's been nicked, Dotty and Ollie are dead and I find out Leo is my secret son. So no, Mike; it's not a silly question. It's a F*CKING stupid question!" Mike lowered his head and adopted a guilty, sorrowful expression. There was a slight pause "When we get Leo back, you'll still have time for me won't you?" Mike quietly said. I stared at Mike and showed him the whites of my eyes. This made me feel really angry. I'm going through all this sh*t and all he can think about is himself. I shook my head in disgust. "Unbelievable," I firmly said. I then stormed past him and went downstairs.

I walked into the hallway and saw that the place had been tidied up a bit. In fact the guys had done their best to clean up the chaotic mess left behind by Richard. Esther was sat on her own in the kitchen and everyone else was sat in the living room. There was a tense atmosphere the second everyone saw me. It was like none of them knew what to say. Parrissa was sat next to Auntie Meryl knitting. "The place looks better," I said. "We tidied up a bit," said Auntie Meryl. I noticed Tara wasn't here. "Where's Tara?" I asked. "They got up really early," said TJ, "They've taken the car and gone out looking for supplies." "Trudy said she couldn't just sit here while her kids were out there somewhere," said Auntie Meryl. "Is that supposed to be a dig at me?" I snapped. "I don't know what you mean!?" said a confused and outraged Auntie Meryl. There was a tense pause. "So Richard F has gone?" I asked. "Well he did offer to stay and help," said Parrissa in her usual spot tone, "But considering the fake death debacle concerning TJ, we all thought it was wise to bid him farewell. Mum's the word and all that. Oh, I wonder where that saying comes from. Why not Dad's the word, or Sister's the word, or Uncle's the word, or Cousin's the word." I adopted a seriously unimpressed expression and pointed at Parrissa. "What is she doing here?" I bluntly said. "I'm knitting," said an annoyingly cheerful Parrissa, "What do you think I'm doing? Catching a number 72 bus?"

At that moment Tara and Trudy returned, carrying carrier bags and a couple of boxes they joined me in the entrance to the living room. There was an awkward moment between Tara and I as we both remembered our confrontation from yesterday. "Alright?" she asked me in a slightly uncomfortable yet cautious tone. "Did you find anything?" "We drove out and found a few cottages," said Tara, "There wasn't much inside but we found a few bottles of water and some empty containers. We can use them to collect rain water. There were a few tins of food but not much." "How much stuff did Richard take?" I asked. "Nearly everything," said Tara, "He destroyed the Ford too. The only vehicle we have now is the Vauxhall." "Look, I'm going to go back out and search for the kids," said an assertive Trudy. At that point Mike appeared. "I'll go with you," said Mike, "We'll find that dirty little piggy Richard M, slit his throat and get the kids back." "Look I know we want to get the kids back," said Tara, "But the note said Richard M would see us soon. I think he's going to come back here." "Are you saying we should just sit here and wait for him to come back?" snapped Trudy. "Well I think it's better than driving around looking for him when we have no idea where he is," said Tara. "I can't just sit here and do nothing," snapped Trudy, "My kids are out there somewhere. I have to try and find them." "Trudy, I know you want to find them but the note suggested that Richard M would come back here." "The note also said he'd give the kids back in exchange for you, Mike and Naomi," said a firm Trudy, "So what are we supposed to do? Just wait for Richard M to turn up and hope he'll give the kids back to us. Naomi's not here and if we don't hand over you and Mike to him we'll never see the kids again." "Calm down," said Tara, "We can come up with a plan." "Tara, don't tell me to calm down," snapped Trudy, "That psycho has got my kids." "We just need to wait," said Tara. "And how long are we supposed to wait for?" asked Trudy, "I mean, why hasn't he been back with the kids already?" "This is Richard we're talking about," said Mike, "He's probably just f*cking with our heads." "He'll be back," said Tara. "And then what?" asked Trudy, "Are you and Mike just going to hand yourselves over to Richard?" "Trudy, I don't know," said Tara, "We'll come up with a plan." "A plan?" snapped Trudy, "Your plan is just for us to wait." "Well yes but we can't for too long," said Tara, "Because we have to get to The Base." "If you think I'm not going anywhere without my kids you must have your head up your arse, love," snapped Trudy. "Yeah, we can't go to The Base without the kids," said Mike. Tara rolled her eyes and looked unimpressed. "What's that look for?" snapped Trudy. "I just want to get to The Base," said Tara. "Oh do you now?" snapped Trudy, "Well I'll tell you what Tara, you can f*ck off to The Base. I'm taking the car and off to look for my kids. TJ, are you coming?" "Well, I think it might be best if we stay here," said TJ. "You f*cking what?" snapped Trudy, "Are you taking the p*ss? They're your kids too in case you forgot." "I just think Tara's got a point," said TJ, "Richard's bound to come back here." "Well you'd better prey that it's Richard Mackie and not Richard Friel," snapped Trudy, "He thinks you're dead remember. I'll tell you what is dead – your backbone." "Are Richard Mackie and Richard Friel the same person?" asked Auntie Meryl. "Trudy, I think going out on your own is too dangerous," said Tara. "I'll go with her," said Mike. "I think we should all stay together," said Tara, "It's safer that way. Luke what do you think?" "Oh I don't know," I said, "My head's spinning." "Well I suppose all of this is a lot to take in," said TJ. "I know," said Tara, "I can't believe that nutter would come back here, kill people, trash the place and kidnap the kids." "Oh I don't mean that," said TJ, "I mean, Nanna having a kid. A) I'm surprised his tiny little knackers produced enough jizz to fill his belly button, never mind create life and B) I find it hard to believe his minuscule little pecker was able to satisfy ice queen Esther to the point of orgasmic climax." "TJ, do you really think that now is the best time to be spouting all this sh*t?" said a firm Tara, "Your kids have been kidnapped you tosser." "I'm just saying he's a dark horse," said TJ. "A dark horse?" said Parrissa, "Black Beauty was a dark horse." Parrisa then started humming the Black Beauty theme tune. "Oh god, will you shut up you silly cow?" I snapped. "Don't take it out on Dizzy Lizzy just because Cruella didn't tell you she spat your kid out." "Stop being a pr*ck TJ or I'll rip off your knackers and ram 'em down your throat." "I did that to Dump," said Mike. "What did he say?" Auntie Meryl asked Parrissa, "He wants a dump?" "Is a dump another word for a poo?" asked Parrissa. "Look we need to bury Dotty and Ollie," I said. "I'm not worrying about burying Dotty or the dog," exclaimed Trudy, "I want to go look for my kids. Luke, don't you want to find your son?" I squirmed a bit. Hearing someone refer to me having a son felt a bit weird. "I REALLY think we all need to stay together," said Tara, "The kids could be anywhere, and I think we do need to bury Dotty and Ollie." Esther then appeared. "I want to bury Dotty," she quietly but assertively said. "Oh look who's here," said TJ, "It's the secret baby mamma." "If you don't knock it off with all your jokes I'm going to tear off your balls and wear 'em as earrings," a firm Auntie Meryl said to TJ. Esther and I exchanged tense and uncomfortable looks. "OK," said Tara, "Let's not beat around the bush." "If Nanna hadn't beaten around Cruella's bush he wouldn't be in this mess," said TJ. "I'm not getting a lecture from fatherhood from YOU," I bluntly said to TJ. "Just mind your own business TJ," said Esther. "This is a tense situation," said Tara, "I think we all know that, but we need to soldier on. We need to bury Dotty and Ollie and decide on what we're going to do when Richard comes back." "If he comes back," said TJ. "Exactly," said Trudy, "I'm not sitting around here waiting for him. I'm going to go out and LOOK for him. I can't bear the thought of him being with my kids." "Trudy, do you really want to risk not being here when Richard come back with the kids?" asked Tara. "He might never come back," said Trudy, "He might just be doing his usual head f*ck stuff." "He's twisted," said Tara, "He'll want to see us suffer. He won't be able to stay away for long. He wants to see the pain he's caused. I'm telling you, he'll be back." Trudy reluctantly agreed to go along with what Tara said but she said that if the kids weren't back by tomorrow she was going to take the car and go out looking for them.