Luke's Diary: An unlucky man in a zombie apocalypse. Days 601 - 756

Day 688: Sunday 15th July 2018

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Day 688
Sunday 15th July 2018

It all kicked off today. I'm currently stood in a dingy store cupboard squashed up against Mike, trying to write my diary.

The day started when we were getting ready to go to the motorway service station. We didn't have to trick or convince Janine to come. As soon as Naomi insisted on coming, saying that wherever her car goes, she goes, Janine said she'd come along and help us all look for food and supplies. Naomi saw Rocky getting ready to leave and she gave me a stern but apprehensive look. "Don't start," I firmly said, "It's not up for discussion. Rocky's coming and that's that."

We said our goodbyes, I handed Leo to Auntie Meryl and gave them both a kiss. "Why you giving me a kiss?" asked Auntie Meryl, "Has someone died." "It's dangerous out there," I said, "I suppose I'm giving you a kiss, just in case I don't come back." "You don't plan on missing the bus do you?" Auntie Meryl asked, "I missed the bus once when me and Betty Crack had a day out and about in the Yorkshire Dales. Oh we had a good time thought. There's a lovely spa there you know?" "When have you ever been to a spa?" I asked. "I'll have you know me and Betty Crack were always visiting the spas when went on our little trips out." "I didn't know that," I said, "What sort of treatments did you both have?" "Treatments?" asked Auntie Meryl. "Yeah," I said, "Massage, pedicure, that sort of thing." "Nooooo," said Auntie Meryl, with a smile on her face, "Spa supermarket. Buy one get one free on Tetley teabags. You can't go wrong." I have Auntie Meryl, the walkie talkie, told her to keep it switched on and then I gave her and Leo one final kiss and then we were all off.

The journey from the underground power station to the motorway service station was rather tense. Janine and Naomi were sat in the front whilst Mike, Rocky and I were sat in the back. This wasn't ideal. There was no way Mike and I would be able to push Janine out of the car whilst she was in the front and we were in the back. Mike and Naomi weren't exactly on speaking terms after what happened at Parrissa's parents, Both Mike and I were p*ssed off with Janine, Naomi was clearly still suspicious of Rocky, and after the other day Janine was the only person in the car who was really speaking to Naomi. To say it was an uncomfortable car journey was an understatement. "Well this is fun isn't it?" I sarcastically said. "What do you want us to do, Luke?" Naomi, bluntly asked, "Tell knock knock." "This is clearly a tense situation," said Janine, "But I think we all need to be mature, try and make the best of it and work together as best we can." "Eat my sh*t you bat sh*t crazy b*tch," said Mike. "Very mature," said Janine. "Oi, you're not in any position to be looking down your nose at people," I firmly said to Janine. "I think I can look don my nose at you," said Janine, "I saved your life and your son's life and you haven't even said thank you." "She's got a point," said Naomi. "The only point she's going to get is when I stick my knife up her arse, use her blade the rearrange her intestines and make an origami swan out of her colon," said a firm Mike. "Origami is paper," said Naomi. "Whatever," said Mike, "If she keeps expecting Luke to thank her, I'll be expecting her to thank me when I gauge out one of her eyes instead of both of them." "Let's calm down," said Rocky, "No one needs to threaten anyone." "Oh, you can shut up," said Naomi, "No one's buying this peace maker act. I've got my eye on you." "It's not an act," I firmly said, "And you don't need to have your eye on him, you need to have your eye on her; this b*tch here." "She's not pretending to be someone she isn't," said Naomi. "That's true," I said, "She isn't pretending to be a nice person. She's acting like the nasty cow that she is." "I think she's implying that Rocky IS pretending to be someone he isn't," said Mike. "Yes, I got that, thank you Mike," I said, "Naomi, I just think you're embarrassing yourself. Rocky is just a normal guy." I turned and looked at him. "Have you ever had any weapons training?" I asked him. "Well my Dad showed me how to use a rifle once," he said, "But that was when I was a kid and he probably shouldn't have done it. I remember the loud bang and thinking that my ear drum was about to burst." "Oooooh," I sarcastically said, giving Naomi an exaggerated scared look, "You're right. I mean, that's proof right there. He's an undercover assassin; an ACROBAT insider. Chuck him out of the car. Come on. Let's kill him now." "I don't think you're funny Luke," said Naomi. "Well I don't think you're funny either," I said, "In fact I think you're rude and out of order. You're both out of order." "Yeah, like a couple of cubicles in a public toilet that are caked in sh*t," said Mike, "Proper out of order." "Let's all try and stay calm," said Rocky, "Most of us seem to have an issue with one or more people in this car. Arguing isn't going to help though is it? Janine's right; let's just try and make the best of a situation that isn't that great." Naomi didn't look happy. The scowl on her face clearly showed that she didn't trust Rocky and that she was keen ring his neck. The whole thing was getting annoying and to be honest quite tiring at this point. The poor guy's done absolutely nothing wrong I thought to myself.