Luke's Diary: An unlucky man in a zombie apocalypse. Days 601 - 756

Day 739: Tuesday 4th September 2018

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Day 739
Tuesday 4th September 2018

It's been a rather nice today.

Caroline made me a full English breakfast. This was a nice surprise. "What have I don't to deserve this?" I asked. "Just for being my lovely husband," she said with a smile, followed by a lovely luscious kiss on the lips.

Work was OK. Nothing to exciting. Rick's on about introducing a new admin system. I just hope it makes things easier and not harder for Mia in the office. She's already got loads of work to do and she's only part time. She told me about the new book she's writing and how she plans on naming a character after me. Bless her. I suppose it's quite flattering – having an author name a character in a book after me. I just hope she makes my character out to be a strong hero and not a weedy wimp. TJ asked if he could swap shifts with me next week so he could spend a bit of time with Trudy and take her to a restaurant. "Come on boss," he said, clasping his hands together and begging me, "We've hardly had any time alone together recently. Pleeeeease. Next time we're out I'll get the first two rounds in? What do you say?" "You're always after swapping shifts with someone," I said in a jovial but slightly lighthearted tone, "I should just sack you and get someone who doesn't p*ss me about as much." "Ah come on boss," said a cheery TJ, "You'd all sink into a pit of depression if you didn't have me a round to make you laugh and keep you company. Anyway, it wouldn't be a good idea of you sacked me. I've got dirt on you. What would all your big hard staff say if they knew about our trip to Blackpool when you took your top off and started dancing on the bar, singing Karaoke to 'I am what I am.'" I turned and gave TJ a humorous grin. "You're a cheeky sod," I joked, "I'll swap your bl**dy shifts with you but make sure that report I asked for is on my desk before the end of the day." TJ grabbed me and kissed me on the forehead. "Get off me you nutter," I said. "Cheers boss," said TJ, with a big smile, "You're a legend." God knows how Trudy puts up with his madness. Mind you, he was always like that in school. Too late to change him now I guess.

Had a bit of a chat with our Kyle today. He's really worried about going to school tomorrow. I think the famous Miss Fitch is intimidating him a bit. The old crow sounds like a dragon; humiliating him in front of everyone and embarrassing him in front of his peers. "I've told her my Dad's the head of town security so she should watch her step," said Kyle, "You can sort her out can't you Dad? You usually fix everything." "Look mate," I said, "I can't make any promises but I will speak to your Mum and see what I can do." I do the love the kid but he keeps putting me on a pedestal and it sometimes feels like there's a lot of pressure. Anyway, if I can deal with shop thieves and rowdy drunks in the town centre I'm sure I can deal with some crabby old school ma'am.

I went to the cemetery yesterday to put some flowers on Auntie Meryl's grave. It'll soon be five years since she died. God, time really does fly. I got a bit of a blast from the past though when I was at the cemetery. I saw that Lindon bloke. He was cutting grass and collecting litter. It looked like he was the cemetery caretaker. I haven't seen him in ages. I might have known he'd end up working near dead bodies. I avoided him of course. After what happened with him and Tara I'm surprised he dares to go out in public. I just hope he doesn't dig up my poor Auntie Meryl and try and shag her skeleton. F*cking weirdo.

One annoying thing is that I've lost my diary. I was sat at the dining table yesterday, writing it before I went to bed and I'm certain I brought it up to bed with me and put it in the bottom drawer of my bedside drawers. Oh well. I'm sure it'll turn up somewhere and I've started another one now.

On a more positive note, Harold has invited us all round for dinner tomorrow; the whole gang – me, Caroline, Tara, TJ – all of us except Naomi of course (for obvious reasons) but the least said about that the better. It'll be good for us all to get together. Parrissa cooks a mean beef dinner and it'll be nice to catch up with everyone. We haven't all been together in one room in ages.

We got our new council tax statement today. It's gone up by an extra £48 a year. Robbing b*stards. I really don't know what we get for our money sometimes. I'd have thought what with Rick being the mayor and being in charge of town security I'd get some sort of discount, but oh no. Typical.

Richard phoned me today. I've never met a man who is so ridiculously cheerful. He said he'd had enough of working at the school and asked if there were any job going in town security. I didn't say anything but I think he's far too cheery to be a security guard. I know TJ can be a bit of a cheeky chappy but he gets tough with the scum when he needs to. I told him he could drop a CV in and I'd take a look at it when I got the time. I'm hoping he just forgets.

Tara phoned me today. She said she wants to run a story on me about how I stopped that old woman from being mugged last week. I suppose it's nice to be valued and appreciated but I don't want to be in the limelight again. Not after I was in the paper last month for helping that boy who got hit by a car. I told her I didn't want the attention but she said I was a "local hero" and should be proud of myself. I told her I wasn't interested but she said she's going to try and twist my arm when she sees me at Harold's tomorrow.

One thing that I nearly forgot to mention is that I had a really weird dream last night. I was in a small dingy room, sat at this grubby table, staring into space and feeling sorry for myself. I looked like I'd been there for a while. God knows what it means. Maybe I'm going to have a depressing day at work or something. I hope not though. Things are looking up at the minute.