Luke's Diary: An unlucky man in a zombie apocalypse. Days 601 - 756

Day 701: Saturday 28th July 2018

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Day 701
Saturday 28th July 2018

After being covered in elephant sh*t and Kevin's spunk yesterday I'm pleased to say that I haven't been covered in any horrible substances today but sadly I did cover someone else in a certain substance.

There was a bit of a misunderstanding this morning. I woke up thinking I needed a good shower, but still half asleep and with only my towel wrapped around my waist, I walked into the girl's shower area – not the boy's. I quickly realised my mistake, when I rubbed my head, removed the sleep out of my eyes, looked ahead and saw Roz having a shower. I gasped, jumped back as I realised my mistake. Roz was NOT happy. I didn't see anything; the cubical door was closed so I only saw the lower half of her legs and from her shoulders upwards. "What the f*ck are you doing!?" Roz loudly exclaimed. "Oh God, Roz," I said, "I'm so sorry." "What are you doing!?" Roz loudly exclaimed, "This is the women's shower block." "Sorry," I panicked, "I'm so sorry. I'm half asleep. I've come through the wrong door. I'm so sorry." "GET OUT!" Yelled Roz. "I quickly turned round, exited the shower area and went back into the staff area where Tj was waiting for me with a big smile no his face. "What's going on?" he said. "I just walked in on Roz taking a shower," I said. "Nice," said TJ, with a pervy smile, "Did you see much? Lesbian's don't shave their armpits. Does she shave down there? Has she got a f*nny like a Jackson Five Afro?" "I didn't see anything," I firmly said, "The cubicle door was shut. I thought it was the boy's shower block." "B*llocks," said TJ, "You went in there to get a glimpse of her growler." "Shut up," I snapped, "That's not true. I'm not like you." "Yeah, right," said TJ, "How can you get the boy's shower room mixed up with the girl's? You've been using them for the last few days." "I was half asleep," I firmly said. "I bet you've got half a lob on now haven't you?" "Shut up," I snapped. Roz then appeared with a towel wrapped around her. "What the f*ck was that?" she snapped at me. "I'm sorry," I said, "I wasn't paying attention." "He was paying attention to lesbian labia," said TJ with a smile. "Will you stop talking to me like that?" Roz snapped at TJ, "Just because I'm a lesbian doesn't mean I'm a porn star. It doesn't mean you can talk to me like I'm an object. It doesn't mean it's OK for you to sexualise me and objectify me. I am a person. I am a woman. I will not be subjected to this sort of narrow minded behaviour." "Christ I'm rock hard," said TJ, "Did you finger yourself in the shower? Give us details." "TJ, shut up," I snapped. "I am not going to stand here and give you details about my sexual habits at dramatic length," said a firm Roz. "I've got a dramatic length if you're interested," said TJ. "You two are as bad as each other," said Roz. "Me!?" I loudly said, "I'm nothing like this pr*ck." "Straddling a fourteen year old boy, rubbing yourself in semen and then trying to perve on me in the shower," said Roz, "I'm starting to think you're some sort of sexual deviant." "I am NOT a sexual deviant," I snapped, "I find that really offensive." "I find being watched whilst I'm showering offensive," said Roz. "I thought it was the boy's showers," I firmly said. "So you're saying I look like a boy again?" snapped Roz. "No!" I loudly said, "Oh God!" "I think you owe me an apology," Roz said. I rolled my eyes in frustration. "Fine," I firmly said, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry that you're so stupid that you can't see a genuine mistake when you see one. What's wrong with you?" "You walked in on me in the shower!" Roz exclaimed. "Fine!" I loudly said, "Fine! You're right. I'm a massive sexual deviant. A creepy weirdo that gets off on watching people in the shower. I'm a total perv. A complete depraved sex offender. I'm going to have a good wank later on thinking about this moment and I'm going to cum all over you. Is that what you want to hear?" Roz gave me a strange look. Silence lingered. "Just stay away from me," she said. She returned to the shower leaving me with TJ who gave me a big smug grin. "Another special moment there," he said, "Well done, Nanna." "Oh f*ck off," I snapped. I stormed off, got a shower in the boy's shower area and got dressed. I was feeling annoyed; both with TJ's usual annoying attitude but also with Roz for not realising me walking in on her was an accident.