Luke's Diary: An unlucky man in a zombie apocalypse. Days 601 - 756

Day 673: Saturday 30th June 2018

https://www.facebook.com/150585268715788/posts/460801941027451/

Day 673
Saturday 30th June 2018

Most of us went to Parrissa's today but we didn't expect to find what we did when we got there.

In the morning we all get ready to go to Parrissa's. Auntie Meryl stayed behind with the clones. "So where you all off to?" Auntie Meryl. "I've told you," I said, "We're going to Parrissa's." "Parrissa?" said Auntei Meryl, "What's a Parrissa? Is it some sort of coffee?" "Look," I said, "We're going out to get food and water," I said, "You just stay here with the clones." "Oh that's right," said Auntie Meryl, "Leave me here all on my own with this lot of weirdo's." "It's OK," said Nicola, "I'll stay with you." "Bl**dy marvellous," said Auntie Meryl, "It's bad enough being around a load of zombies that all look the same but now you're throwing in Typhoid Mary." "I haven't got typhoid," said a firm Nicola. "You'll be OK here," I said to Auntie Meryl, "We won't be gone for too long." I gave Auntie Meryl a kiss, and the rest of us all gathered our weapons, collected our things, got into Snoopy's minibus and made our way to Parrissa's.

"Shall we play eye spy?" Parrissa asked on the journey. "No," said a firm Esther, who was driving the mini-bus, "You're supposed to be giving us directions." "Yeah but we could play a game on the way," said Mia. "Let's just focus on getting where we need to be," I said. "Yes, good idea," said Parrissa, "Where is it we're going?" There was a short silence as I was annoyed at Parrissa's stupidity. "What are you talking about?" I snapped, "We're going to your house. We're going to get some food. We talked about this yesterday!" "Oh yes," giggled Parrissa, "My memory eh? What am I like?" "Parrissa, I need directions," said Esther. "Where to?" she asked. "To your place!" I loudly said, "We need you to direct us to your place. Jesus Christ!" Parrissa eventually got round to giving directions and after driving for about twenty five minutes we arrived at Parrissa's house. A large detached property with electric gates and a tall fence surrounding the building. "Wow," said TJ, "Your folks clearly aren't short of a bob or too." "I used to have a teacher called Mr Ortoo," said Parrissa, "And his first name was Bob. Bob Or-too. What a funny name." "Parrissa," I said, sounding confused, "If your parents are here then why have you been with us all this time?" "Well you're all so lovely," said Parrissa, "And I was out looking for my Muff. Anyway my parents don't talk that much so it's nice to get out and about and be around people who are a bit chatty." Parrissa leaned out of the camper van window and typed a code into a small control panel, causing the electric gates to open up. "You've still got electricity?" enquired Trudy. "Generators," said Parrissa, "Dad's got rather a lot of them." We drove up to the house as the gates closed behind us. There was a large drive with a neglected waterless fountain in the middle. The house itself had a double garage, double glazing, an impressive entrance, a balcony above the entrance and an upstairs patio. "Looks like a nice place," said TJ. "I had to do community service once in a place like this," said Trudy, "Which is weird because the house I nicked stuff from that got me the community service is the first place also looked like this."

We parked the mini bus outside the entrance to the house, exited the vehicle and looked up at the vehicle. "That's a cool house," said TJ. "Parrissa, why would you want to leave this place?" I asked, "You've got food, water, high walls and electric gates. You're safer being here than you are with us." "Yeah and your parents are here," said Esther. "Well I do love my parents but I also love my Muff," said Parrissa. "Well come on then," said Trudy, "I'm starving. I could eat a scabby horse followed by sh*t on a stick." "Wait a minute," I said, "Something doesn't feel right about this." "What are you on about?" said Trudy, "There's food in there and Parrissa lives here. It's OK . . . Isn't it Parrissa? There's nothing to worry about." "Oh nothing to worry about at all," said Parrissa, "Apart from global warning. We all need to be on the lookout for that." "Global warning?" I said, frowning with confusion, "What the f*ck are you talking about?" "It's the silent killer," said Parrissa, "Slowly creeping up on us. We need to keep an eye on it." "Christ," I said, "The world has ended, there's infected running around everywhere and you're worried about global warming." Parrissa smiled and walked into the house with the rest of us close behind. I think Esther and I were the only ones who were cautious.