Luke's Diary: An unlucky man in a zombie apocalypse. Days 601 - 756

Day 687: Saturday 14th July 2018

https://www.facebook.com/150585268715788/posts/473261706448141/

Day 687
Saturday 14th July 2018

It's been a quiet but tense day.

There's been an atmosphere on the air. Janine and Naomi have been sat with Sophie at the opposite end of the facility avoiding the rest of us. Mia went over and told them to come and join us but that never developed. No one else approached Naomi. I think everyone's p*ssed off with her for being such a vow and giving Rocky a hard time. It's sad really. Naomi never used to be like this. She used to be a key member of the group with good leadership. I would have thought that getting Sophie would have had more of a positive effect on her. . . .

Some of us have been talking about going out and looking for some more supplies. "We don't really need any supplies," said TJ. "I know we're not desperate," I said, "But I think it's a good idea to go out whilst we're strong numbers." "Strong in numbers?" said Mia, "Is that like when you're good at maths?" "It means when there's a lot of us," I said. "When there's a lot of us good at maths?" asked Mia. "Oh just shut up," I said, "Look maybe we can go back to the motorway service station and get some ore food." "I tell you what we need more than food right now," said TJ, "Comic Relief." "I don't think that's on until February," said Parrissa. "And we don't have a TV that works," said Mia. "Comic what?" Auntie Meryl asked me. "You know that thing on BBC1," I said. "BBC what?" asked Auntie Meryl. "Channel 1," I said, "You used to watch it on Freeview." "Free what?" asked Auntie Meryl, "Oh I don't know what you're talking about, you're not making any sense." "God," I exclaimed, "Comic Relief, BBC1, Freeview TV – Lenny Henry." "Lenny who?" asked Auntie Meryl. "You know," I said, "The big funny black guy." "Don't be silly," said Auntie Meryl, "Now I know you're not making sense. They don't let black people on the telly." "No, Linda Henry was in 'Bad Girls' as the top dog," said Trudy, "I liked Bad Girls. It reminded me of being inside." "Lenny, not Linda!" I loudly said. "Who's Lenny?" asked Auntie Meryl. "The big black guy that dressed silly and made us all laugh," I exclaimed. "I thought his name was Shaun," said Auntie Meryl. "DeShawn!" I loudly snapped. "So it was DeShawn?" said Auntie Meryl. "No, it was f*cking Lenny Henry!" I yelled. "I don't remember anyone called Lenny being with us," said Auntie Meryl. "Wasn't there some called Henry?" asked Mia. "There's been that many people coming and going we should have had revolving doors fitted," said Auntie Meryl. "I had sex with model in revolving door," said TJ, "I did her from behind and pushed her t*ts up against the glass."

"Oh for crying out!" I loudly snapped, "Jesus Christ. Only with you lot could I go from talking about going out to get supplies, to Lenny Henry and having sex in a revolving door." "Has Lenny Henry ever had in a revolving door?" asked Mia. "I still don't know who Lenny Henry is," said Auntie Meryl. "Oh, will you all just shut the f*ck up!?" I shouted. Silence fell and everyone stared at me. "Why can't we have just a straight forward conversation, eh?" I snapped, "Why does EVERY single attempt at adult conversation end in some sort of pointless, mind numbingly irritating discussion. I'm surprised my head hasn't exploded." I took a step back and then all of a sudden the ginger cat appeared out of nowhere and jumped on my shoulder. "AAAAAAAAGH!!!" I loudly and hysterically yelled, dong all I could stop me from sh*tting myself. As soon as I screamed, the cat jumped to the floor and ran off into the facility. "F*CKING CAT!" I yelled. I walked away and had a bit of time on my own. I needed to chill.

Eventually it was agreed that some of us would go out tomorrow and bring back some more supplies from the motorway service station. Rocky said he'd some so he could prove to us and to Naomi that he can be trusted. As far as I'm concerned he doesn't need to prove anything to us and he shouldn't have to feel he needs to prove anything to Naomi. Mike and I have also come up with a bit of a plan. . . . We're going to tell Janine that she needs to start pulling her weight and that she should come out with us in the car to help us being back supplies. If we manage to get her to come with us Mike and I are going to try and push her out of the car and get rid of her. I'm sick to death of her giving me smug looks and of Naomi blowing smoke up her arse. Tomorrow, we get rid of the b*tch once and for all.