Luke's Diary: An unlucky man in a zombie apocalypse. Days 601 - 756

Day 730: Sunday 26th August 2018

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Day 730
Sunday 26th August 2018

Bit of a stressful day. I had an annoying conversation with Kyle's tw*t of teacher, I met Richard and I had to break a fight up between Caroline and Naomi.

One thing that's odd is that I had another bizarre dream last night. I dreamt I was with the same guy who was in my dream the night before. This time we were wrestling around on the floor, fighting with each other. He was trying to punch me and I was trying to punch him. Weird. God knows who this random guy is I've suddenly started dreaming about, or why I've started dreaming about it. Anyway, I've got more important things to be thinking about.

Things were tense again between Caroline and I in this morning. Kyle noticed. He looked over at me as he took mouthfuls of his honey nut loops. "Dad. Got a knife?" he asked. "You don't need a knife for cereal, Kyle," I said. "It's not for this," said Kyle, "It's for the atmosphere is in. You could cut it with a knife." "Very funny," I bluntly said. "Chill our Dad," said Kyle, "I'm only having a laugh. Anyway what you going to tell Fitch the b*tch?" "That I'm not happy I'm being dragged into school during the school holidays," I said, "Teachers don't call meetings in August. Why the Hell isn't she in Spain like all the other normal teachers?" "She doesn't have a life," said Kyle, "She's a workaholic." "And you're a liar," Caroline said to Kyle, "We're only having this meeting because you hid the letter from us. We should have had this meeting ages ago." "Yeah well I'm going out for a walk," I said, "I'll meet you at the school." "Oh?" said a sarcastic Caroline, "So you know where the school is then?" I stopped for a moment and frowned with confusion. I did know where the school was, but I wasn't sure how I knew. "I said I'll see you there, so I'll see you there," I firmly said.

I left the house feeling really confused. How the Hell did I know where Kyle's school was? I've never been there before but somehow I knew the location and exactly how to get there. Weird. I once again got on the bus into town. The sarcastic bus driver was once again driving the vehicle. "Christ," I said, "Do you live on this bus?" "Well it's lovely to see you too," said the driver, sarcastically, "What's the matter? Didn't you get any last night?" "The only thing I got last night was grief," I bluntly said. "Story of my life, pal," said the driver, "Anyway sit down, it's not a therapy session. All I will say is that if I left the house this morning with a face like yours, I think I'd have stayed in bed." I took my seat on the bus and once again travelled to the town centre.

When I arrived in the town centre, I was once again unsure as to why I'd gone there. For some reason I'm just drawn to the place. I guess it's better than being in the house with Caroline who thinks she's married to me. I walked across the town square, past the town hall, down the road and up to the police station; a small, modest building with a humble sign outside saying 'Welcome to Feemh Oaks Police Station.' I walked inside and approached the overweight police officer behind the desk. He was reading a newspaper and had a very disinterred look on his face. I stood at the counter waiting for him to acknowledge me but he seemed more interested in reading his paper. I waited for a few moments and then coughed, letting the cop know I wanted to speak to him. He didn't respond. I coughed more loudly. Again he didn't respond. I coughed even more loudly and this caused the officer to slam his paper down. "Do you need some lockets or some Halls soothers pal, cos that cough is getting right on my nerves." "I'm trying to get your attention," I said. "Well my attention you've got," said the sarcastic officer, "Maybe next time you could just tell me you want to talk to me instead of standing coughing like an asthmatic dog with a bone stuck in its throat." "I need you to check something for me," I said. "If your thrust of your tonsils, I'm not interested," said the officer. "Is there a way you can find out if there's a baby in Feemh Oak called Leo Warm or Leo Tibbs." "Yeeeeah," the officer sarcastically said, "Of course there is. I can go round all the houses in Feemh Oak, knocking from door to door if you like. I've got a hundred officers sat out back all eating donuts and watching cats on YouTube, just waiting for enquiries like this to come in." I adopted a seriously unimpressed expression. "Can you do it or not?" I bluntly asked, "I'm level one of that helps." "Listen pal I couldn't give a monkey's left b*llock if you're level one or level a hundred and one. I don't have time for this." "Yeah," I said, "You look really busy reading your newspaper there." The cop gave me a blunt look, turned round in his swivel chair, looked at his computer screen and started typing on his keyboard. "Lee Warm?" he said. "Leo," I said. "Weird name," said the sarcastic cop, "Mind you I used to have a cousin called Archibald Cold." "I don't need to know about your family tree," I bluntly said, "Just look for Leo Warm or Leo Tibbs." "Pardon me for making conversation," the cop said. He continued typing. "How old is this Leo?" asked the cop. "He's seven months old," me said. The cop did some more typing. "Right then," he eventually said, "I've checked my database. This lists every living resident in Feemh Oak. There's no one by the name Leo Warm or Leo Tibbs in existence. There's a few people with the surname Tibbs and there's a few people called Leo but none of them are babies. There's three people with the surname Warm. None of them are babies." "That'll be me Caroline and Kyle," I said, "Where the Hell is Leo if he's not here?" "Well I don't know do I?" said the cop, "I've never even met this baby Leo. Do you want to report a missing person or something?" "Oh forget it," I snapped. I walked out of the police station in a huff. "You're welcome!" the sarcastic cop, called after me.