Luke's Diary: An unlucky man in a zombie apocalypse. Days 601 - 756

Day 731: Monday 27th August 2018

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Day 731
Monday 27th August 2018

Two years ago today I was trapped in a sexual health clinic with a load of morons whilst the world was coming to an end. Two years later I'm still with some of those morons but this time I'm in some sort of weird alternative reality. I have to get to the bottom of what's going on around here, although despite my best efforts I'm still no further forward . . . . I went to Mia and Harold's for dinner but I didn't really get anywhere.

I had another weird dream last night. I was in a dingy room sat at a table with the man who's been in my other dreams. He was sat opposite me talking about how this is what needs to be done and how he knows it's not ideal but that there's no choice. I remember looking very angry but I don't remember much else. Weird. I've never had such vivid and strange dreams.

Anyway, I've been getting more text messages from Naomi telling me to leave Caroline, asking me how long I'm going to keep her waiting and demanding answers. I wasn't in the mood for her so I've been ignoring her texts and all her calls.  

Caroline was in a right proper mood this morning, which wasn't a surprise. I walked into the kitchen and with a stony expression on my face I said good morning to Caroline. She looked away, turned her head and walked to the other side of the kitchen. "Oh I see," I said, "Ignoring me are you? Well that suits me. The fewer conversations I have with you, the better." "You were a right tw*t yesterday," Caroline bluntly said. "Ah so you're not ignoring me?" I sarcastically said. "You should have defended my honour yesterday," Caroline bluntly said. "Honour?" I exclaimed, "Are you serious!? You were rolling around on the floor and scrapping outside the school gates like you were in Prisoner Cell Block H." "It's that woman," snapped Caroline, "She brings out my bad side." "That's the only side you've got," I said. "Well if I'm such a band person, why don't you leave me, move out and go and live with that dirty tart. I know that's what you want to do." "I'm not arguing with you Caroline," I firmly said. "Well maybe I should just throw you out," snapped Caroline, "Divorce you and become a lesbian. That's what you seem to think of me." "I know you're not a lesbian," I said, lying threw my teeth. I thought if I played along with this whole farce there was less chance of me being sectioned and locked up and more chance of me getting to the bottom of what this Feemh Oak place is all about. "I don't know what was going on the other day," I said, "I forgot loads of things and started imagining all this weird stuff." "Well I think I will still phone that psychiatrist," said Caroline. "Do you want them to lock me up?" I snapped. "Right now, I'm not sure," snapped Caroline. "Oh I'm not staying here to listen to this sh*t," I firmly said, "I'm going out." "To see your floozy?" said Caroline. "For a walk," I bluntly said, "And I'm going to Mia and Harold's for dinner tonight." "Oh really?" said Caroline, "And what am I supposed to do? The food I've got ready feeds three, not two. What am I supposed to put in the oven now?" "Dunno?" I said, "Your head?" Caroline frowned. "I don't know why you're so keen to spend time with Harold," snapped Caroline, "The other day you threatened to stab him in his eye with a knife." "Well he's not the only person I've been tempted to stab in the eye with a knife," I bluntly said. "Oh just go," said Caroline. "Don't worry I'm bl**dy going," I snapped.

I stormed out of the house, got on the bus, exchanged frustrating pleasantries with the sarcastic bus driver and arrived in the town centre. I noticed Tara in the town square sat on a bench eating a packed lunch. I walked over and sat next to her. "You alright?" she said, chewing on a mouthful of sandwich, "I heard about the fight." "How the Hell did you hear about that?" I asked. "Small town. Top journalist. I find most things out," said Tara, "I heard you split it up." "Me and Richard," I said, "Stupid idiots. Fighting outside a school. We should leave that stuff to the kids not the adults." "Well it can't do your masculine pride any harm can it?" said Tara, "Having two women LITERALLY fighting over you." "I never really thought of it like that before," I said. "Really?" said Tara, "I'd be over the moon if I had two men fighting over me. I'm really stressed with work. I wish my life was rosy like yours." "Rosy!?" I exclaimed, "What are you on about? Me and Caroline are arguing like cat and dog and I passed out in the street the other day. Hardly rosy." "Luke, your life is sorted," said Tara, "You've got a good job, a nice house and now you've got two women fighting over you. Your kid loves you, you're a boss. The people of this town respect you. What more could you want?" I thought about what Tara said. For a few seconds I actually thought that living in whatever fake set up this is meant to be wasn't as bad as I first thought. I quickly shook my head and internally told myself off for thinking about the positives and removing my focus from finding Leo. "How is your head anyway?" asked Tara, "Still having trouble remembering stuff?" "Err. . . No," I said, "All back to normal now." "Good stuff," said Tara, "You'll need to get back to work soon. You don't want to p*ss off Rick." "Who is this Rick?" I said, "Everyone keeps talking about him." "He's the mayor," said Tara, "The boss of the town, "YOUR boss. I thought you said your memory was back to normal." "I suppose I'm just getting confused," I said, "Look I'd better go. I'm going to Mia and Harold's tonight. Suppose I'd better buy a bottle of wine or something."