Luke's Diary: An unlucky man in a zombie apocalypse. Days 601 - 756

Day 700: Friday 27th July 2018

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Day 700
Friday 27th July 2018

What a bl**dy day it's been! The others are here from the power station but after a misunderstanding with some toiletries I made a complete tw*t of myself in front of everyone. After yesterday's debacle with Kyle I don't want to do anything that could get us chucked out, mind you, most of the people here are getting right on my bl**dy nerves. I just need to bite my tongue which isn't easy. Anyway, right now I have my gorgeous son back with me and I feel content.

I woke up after a relatively comfortable night's sleep. I turned round to see Mike lying on my side of the mattress looking into my eyes with a big smile on his face. He made me jump a little bit. "Morning babes," he said, "Did you sleep OK?" "I did," I said, "I'd be able to wake up OK too if you weren't there every time I turned over." "I love being at the zoo," said Mike, "It reminds me of when Mum used to take me, TJ and Kay to the zoo." All of a sudden Roz appeared at the end of my mattress. She looked down at me and Mike. "What's going on here?" she asked. "What do you mean?" I asked. "You told me you were heterosexual" said Roz. "Is that the one where you like boys AND girls?" asked Mike. "I am heterosexual," I firmly said. "Well it looks like you two are more than just friends," said Roz. "We are," said Mike, "We're special friends." "That's not how it sounds," I said to Roz, "Me and Mike are mates; good mates but we're not gay. We're just  . . . close. Anyway, even if I was gay, what's the problem? You're gay?" "I don't like being lied to," said Roz, "TJ told me you were gay." "TJ told me he once had a threesome with Scarlett Johansson, Kim Kardashian and Megan Fox," I said, "It doesn't mean it's true. I had a wife, I've got a baby boy." "Lots of gay people have been married to the opposite sex," said Roz, "And many of them have children." "I'm not gay, Ok?" I firmly said. "What's wrong with being gay?" asked Roz. "Nothing!" I loudly exclaimed. "Well you're starting to sound rather homophobic," said Roz. "I am NOT homophobic," I firmly said, "We had a gay guy with us called Troy." "What happened to him?" asked Roz. "Naomi shot him with a machine gun," said Mike, "You'll get to meet her today." Roz didn't look impressed. "That sounds worse than it is," I said, "Naomi doesn't just go around killing people." "Well she chopped Samantha's face in two with an axe didn't she?" said Mike, "And all she did was say she used to have a pet rat." Roz looked even more unimpressed. "Mike, shut up," I quietly said, "Ignore him, he's getting confused. It all sounds worse than it actually is." "I think when your friends get here I might need to have a little chat with them," said Roz. She then walked off and I turned to Mike and gave him an angry look. "What did you say that for?" I snapped, "Do you want us to get chucked out?" "What?" exclaimed a confused Mike. "Just don't say anything about anything," I said, "We don't want to give this lot any reason to chuck us out."

Later in the morning everyone was gathered near the front gates. Tara had agreed to take the Nissan and drive back to get the others. "Will you be OK on your own?" I asked. "Yeah don't go getting kidnapped again," said TJ. "I'll be fine on my own," said Tara, "I've had lots of practice. Anyway, this recent time Mike and I weren't kidnapped. We were just in the wrong place at the wrong time." "You were trying to steal from us," said Roz, bluntly, "And now you're bringing all your friends here which is going to be a drain on our resources." "The more people we have here, the stronger we are," said Thomas. "We'll be strong when the others get back," said Roz. "If they get back," said a morbid Richard, "They might all be dead." "Don't say that," snapped Roz, "They'll be back." "And when they do get back we'll be even stronger with Luke's friends," said Thomas, "We've got plenty of food and water here. Anyway, you can't keep a parent from his child. You know what that's like." "I'm going to make a move," said Tara, "Use the walkie talkie to let the others know I'm coming. I'll be as a quick as I can." "Naomi won't be happy that we've had her car with us for this long," said TJ. "The more I hear about this Naomi, I'm not sure I want her here," said Roz. "It's fine," I reassuringly said, "She'll be an asset." Tara got in the car, the zoo gates were unlocked, she started the engine and off she went. "Well that's her dead," said Richard, "We'll never clap eyes on her again." "Tara's a survivor," I said, "She's been out there on her own before." "You wouldn't catch me going out there on my own," said Richard, "I'd probably get bitten, and then there's the weather. I burn in the sun and I get arthritis in the cold." "Still, as long as you're looking on the bright side," said a sarcastic TJ.