Luke's Diary: An unlucky man in a zombie apocalypse. Days 601 - 756

Day 669: Tuesday 26th June 2018

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Day 669
Tuesday 26th June 2018

We tried to comfort Trudy today and cheer her up but it didn't work. In fact, I think we made her feel worse.    

It was late morning when Trudy was sat in the kitchen. She'd clearly been crying and was wiping away her tears. The rest of us were sat in the living room listening to poor Trudy being tearful. Auntie Meryl prodded me. "'Ere," She quietly said, "What's that one crying about?" "Oh for God's sake Auntie Meryl," I said, "You know why she's crying. She doesn't know where her kids are." "Terrible," said Auntie Meryl, "You should always know where your kids are. Call the social."  "My Mum user to put a bell round my neck so she knew where I was," said Parrissa, "ding a ling, ding a ling, ding a ling. it was quite heavy though. Mind you, I suppose that's what you get when you nick it from a church bell tower." "I used to go to school with someone called Bell Tower," said Mia, "And the funny thing was that her Dad was a bell ringer." "I used to go to a school with a boy called Stu Pidd," said Parrissa, "Which is weird because he was actually really clever." "What are these two going on about?" Auntie Meryl asked me. "I have no idea," I said, "I just think we should give Trudy some comfort." Auntie Meryl pointed to Mia. "She doesn't need comfort," said Auntie Meryl, "She's talking about her old school mates and got all her sisters around her." "That's not Trudy, that's Mia!" I loudly said, "And these aren't her sisters, they're her clones." "Mia's clones or Trudy's clones?" asked Auntie Meryl. "Mia's!" I loudly yelled, "How can this lot be Trudy's clones!" "Oh I don't know what you're going on about," said a grumpy Auntie Meryl, "You confuse me; you really do." "Just leave her alone," said TJ. "She's crying cos your kids are missing," I bluntly said. "I know," said TJ, "But crying isn't going to bring them back is it? Anyway, I never know what to say to crying birds." "Well they're probably crying because of you, so I imagine an apology is the best thing to say," I sharply said, "Don't you care that your kids are missing?" "Course I do, but there's f*ck all we can do," said TJ, "Anyway, your kid's missing you in case you forgot." I looked over at Esther and we exchanged awkward stares. "Yeah," said TJ, "I'm not gonna take lectures about caring for your children by Fred and Rose West," said TJ. "Shut up TJ," I said, "You can't compare me and Esther to Fred and Rose West." "Ignore him Luke," said Esther, "He's a waste of space. A no hoper. What sort of role model could someone like him be to his kids?" "Alright Karen Matthews, chill out," said TJ, "It's not my fault you know you'd make a cr*p Mum and that Nanna would make a cr*p Dad." "I don't think I'd be a bad Dad actually," I said. "F*ck off," said TJ, "You'd be about as much use as t*ts on a fish." "Shut up," I snapped, "I think I'd be a good Dad." "That's like Edward Scissor Hands saying he's make a good gynaecologist," said TJ, "I've told you. Guys like me and you aren't cut out to be Dads." "Don't lump me in the same boat as you, you tw*t," I snapped. "Oh will you two knock it off," said a firm Esther, "We were supposed to be talking about supporting Trudy." "Yeah, maybe someone should talk to her," said Nicola. "Well I hope you're not volunteering," said TJ, "You and your mate contributed to all this." "Oi," said a firm Nicola, "That's not fair. We didn't kidnap your kids. Wherever they are, my friend's probably with them. Richard sh*t on us too." "Dirty," said Parrissa, "I hope he used some Andrex." "I'm just trying to say we're all in the same boat," said Nicola. Mia looked around and appeared confused. "No," she said, "This is a house, not a boat. We're all in the same house." "Look, I'll talk to Trudy," said Nicola. "No," said Auntie Meryl, "We can't send a woman with Nicolas's condition, in there to talk to an upset woman." "I've only got MS," said Nicola. "What's that?" said Auntie Meryl, "Something BS?" "She's talking BS," said TJ. "Look, I'm a good listener," said Nicola. "Doesn't the BS effect your hearing?" asked Auntie Meryl. "MS!" Nicola, loudly said, "And no, it doesn't affect my hearing!" "Well the last thing an upset person needs is someone around with a horrible infectious contagious disease making them feeling all miserable." "MS isn't contagious," snapped Nicola, "It doesn't make people feel miserable." "Well you've got it," said Auntie Meryl, "And I'm not exactly having a barrel of laughs." Nicola was about to say something when Esther interrupted. "Oh for God's sake," she snapped, "I'll talk to Trudy."  

Esther exited the living room, walked into the kitchen, and we all followed. Trudy was sat at the island with a depressed look on her face. We all gave her a sympathetic look as a solemn silence lingered. A confused looking Parrissa then broke the silence. "Has someone broke wind?" she asked, "I just got a whiff of rotten cabbage." "Shut up

"Parrissa," I said, "No one's farted." "Actually I have," said TJ, "It's all those beans." Esther took a step closer to Trudy. "Come on Trudy," she said, "Pull yourself together. This isn't going to get you anywhere." "Very compassionate," I bluntly said to Esther, "I don't know how the Samaritans cope without you." "Are Samaritans those little people who live on Mars?" asked Parrissa.  Auntie Meryl walked over to Trudy and put her arm round her. "Oh sweetheart," she said, "Now come on. Whatever's the matter?  Come on, tell your Auntie Meryl." A tear ran down Trudy's face. "I think I know what it is," said Parrissa, "I've got a sneaking suspicion that she might be upset about something." We all sighed and rolled our eyes. "Well done Jessica Fletcher," said TJ, "Another mystery solved."  Trudy started sobbing and once again buried her face in the palm of her hands. "Christ, she really is upset," said TJ, "Maybe she's on the blob." "Shut up TJ," I firmly said, "That's so insensitive. She's crying because she's missing the kids. That's YOUR kids." "Is being on the blob the same as being on the dole?" asked Mia. "Ignore this lot," Auntie Meryl said to Trudy, "Tell me what's wrong." "I'm worried about my kids," said a tearful Trudy. "Why, what's wrong with them?" asked Auntie Meryl. "Well I don't know that anything is actually wrong with them?" said Trudy. "Well what you crying for then?" asked a bemused Auntie Meryl. "Because Richard took them!" snapped Trudy. "Who's Richard?" asked Auntie Meryl. "For f*cks sake," snapped Trudy, "He's the bloke who tied us all up out back the other day." "I thought his name was Derek," said Auntie Meryl. "Trudy I know you're upset," said Esther, "But crying never helped. I'd usually say we need to be proactive and take action but the kids really could be anywhere." "Whose kids?" asked Auntie Meryl. "Oh just f*ck off!" shouted an angry and upset Trudy, "My kids are missing out there somewhere and I've got their Dad thinking I'm on the  blob, Cruella De Ville telling me to get over it, Thora Hird who's in a world of her own, and Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum who haven't got s clue what's going on. Will the lot of you just f*ck off!"

I told everyone to p*ss off which gave me the chance to speak to Trudy alone. "Why did Mike have to go off on one?" said a depressed sounding Trudy, "Richard could have told us where the kids were." "I know," I sympathetically said, "But I think we've learned that Richard is a compulsive liar. He could have told us where the kids are but it might have been a lie." "If it's a choice between death and telling us where the kids are, I think he'd have told us where the kids are," said Trudy. "I'm not so sure," I said, "I think he might have just played for more time until he came up with some sick way to get his own back on us. He wasn't trustworthy. None of us could believe a word he said. I reckon he wanted to kill Mike and Tara and then see the look of despair on your face when you found out the kids weren't here. I know Mike went a bit far, but Richard had it coming." "But we could have him tell us the truth about where the kids are," said Trudy. "I don't think he'd ever have told us," I said, "He probably knew that as soon as we got the kids back we'd kill him. He was never going to do anything to help us." "But my sons are still out there," said an anxious Trudy, "Your son's out there too. Sitting here and doing nothing is killing me but at the same time I know there's nothing I can do." Trudy gave a deep sigh. "I remember my Dad telling me that he hoped I'd never have kids because I'd be a sh*t Mum. He never had any time for me. My sister Rudy though, oh he loved her. He'd bend over backwards for her. I never got a look in. The second I had Primark and Aldi, I thought two things; I thought I'm going to love them so much and not make any of the mistakes my Dad made, and I thought I'm going to show my pr*ck of a Dad that I can be a good Mum. Now look at me. Stuck here with you tossers with no idea where my kids are." Trudy buried her head in her hands and started sobbing. I felt so sorry for her but I wasn't sure what to say.

I know this might sound like I've given up but I think maybe it's time to be realistic. Maybe we're not going to see the kids ever again.