Tree Bros, Boyf Riends and Kleisen One Shots

Kleinsen- Evan Vs. Jared

Have you guys ever seen South Park? Yeah, that's what this is based on. I'm kind of obsessed NGL

"So... why do I have to punch him?"

"Well, you don't have to." Jeremy replied, sharpening a wooden knife. "But he did insult your plants, which, I mean, I hope you hold dearly."

Evan glanced over at his bamboo plant. "I do!"

Jeremy's wood sharpening ended, and Jeremy handed Evan his sword. "Then do what needs to be done."

———

"Evan called my mom a whore?"

"Yeah."

"Meh." Jared shrugged, not caring. He continued to play his video game, not noticing the groups murmurs.

Michael gave a worried look to Zoe, who nodded her head. "He also said that your pet guinea pig was stupid."

Jared paused the game, turning slowly towards the group. "He said what?"

"That you're guinea pig was stupid." Zoe said, confidence flying around her.

"That dick!" Jared yelled, getting up.

"So you'll fight him?" Michael asked excitedly.

"Well, fuck, yeah. If he said that shit about my baby, then I guess I have to fight him."

"Good. He'll be waiting for you, by the playground after school tomorrow. Don't miss it."

———

"Dude, are Evan and Jared gonna fight?"

"Yeah man." Michael mumbled to Jake.

"Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, who bets on Evan winning? Who bets on Jared? Place your bets with me! Ten dollars a pop!"

"Wait, Evan and Jared are gonna fight?" Brooke asked. "Why?"

"We told them shit the other had said, but they actually haven't, but like it's fine." Zoe mumbled.

"Yeah, I bet Zoe that Evan would beat Jared in a fight, but she thinks Jared would win."

"Because he will!"

"Places! Here comes Jared and Evan!"

The crowd forming grew silent as the two boys grew nearer. Suddenly, their whispers grew louder and louder.

"What's happening?" Michael asked as Jeremy walked over.

"Holy shit." Jeremy said between laughter. "Holy shit."

"What? What?" Zoe asked.

"So uh, apparently they talked before the fight, and realized that they didn't say those things to each other." Jeremy paused to like Zoe let out a loud curse word. "And uh, now, now they're... they're-"

"We're dating." Jared pulled Evan into the crowd. "And we know about your plan, Zoe."

"My? Plan? What? No."

"Don't worry, we understand." Evan said, trying not to cause conflict.

"But if you want to know who'd win in a fight..." Jared dragged out, pulling Evan closer to him. "Well, lets put it this way. I'm not the one on top in the bedroom."

"Holy. Fucking. Shit."