Tree Bros, Boyf Riends and Kleisen One Shots

Kleinphy-He Hides It Well pt2 AE

Honestly I have no idea what their ship name is

"Hey there Evvie-Bevvie? What's shaken', bacon?" Jared groaned. "God what a fucking idiot, Jared. Who says that? Your grandma?" Jared roasted himself. "Who the fuck am I kidding?" Jared hit his head against his steering wheel, glancing back up at the Hansen house. "Okay, Jared, dude, all you have to do is be like 'Hey Ev, we've noticed that you've been a piece of shit lately, and we want you to treat Connor better.' See Jared? That's not that bad."

Jared took a deep breath. "Okay. Just walk up to the house, and-oh shit."

As if summoned by some godlike spirt, Connor  was pushed out of the through the Hansen's front door. Jared sat up in his seat, hearing yelling coming from inside of the house. Connor slunk out of the house, looking as if he might break down crying. Evans front door slammed, which seemed to finally out Connor over the edge. Connor sat down on the sidewalk, covered his face, and began to sob.

Jared quickly unbuckled his seat and hopped out of his car, walking as fast as he could towards Connor. "Hey Connor." He said quietly, making the poor boy jump.

"What, what are you, uh, doing here?" Connor asked, putting on his 'I don't care' face.

"Dude, you don't have to do that."

"Do what?" Connor asked.

"Put on some stupid mask like you aren't affected by whatever Evan just said." Jared stood up, holding his hand out for Conor to grab.

Connor looked at him weirdly, but Jared kept his hand steady.

"Well?" Jared asked. "Come on."

Connor reluctantly grabbed Jared's hand, a small smile on his face as he stood up. He allowed Jared to guide him to the car, not protesting as Jared helped him in.

"Okay, look, you don't need to tell me anything, but we're getting fast food and if that fucker calls, give me your phone."

"What? Dude, no. Evan will-" Connor stopped, lowering his voice. "Evan will kill me. I'm not even supposed to be in this car with you alone!"

"Yeah, well fuck him. He's an ass." Jared stated, driving away. "You deserve Prince Charming, not like, I don't know, what's that evil lion in Lion King?"

"Uh, Scar?"

"Yeah. You don't need a scar in your life, man. I don't care what kinda shit you think you've done, but you don't deserve this. You're like... you're like Audrey from Little Shop. Remember? She was like 'oh, I don't deserve a nice guy like you, Seymour. I've done horrible things!' And Seymour was like 'babe, you've got rocking tits, so it's okay' and then they made out. That's what you need. A Seymour."

"One, I'm like, 99% sure that's not what Seymour said," Connor stopped to allow Jared to laugh, trying to hide his own laughter as well. "And two... I don't know." Connors smile feel off his face. "I just... He was so sweet."

"Yeah, was. Now he's not. Dump his ass." Jared said, nonchalantly. "He's an ass. Dump him."

"He'll get angry-"

"We'll protect you. Don't worry. You can even sleep at my house."

"Oh." Connor said, fumbling with his hands. "I just... thanks. Thank you."

"No problem." Jared said, giving Connor a genuine smile. "Now, do you want a large coke, or medium?"

"Uh, a small Pepsi?" Connor asked.

"You make me sick, Murphy. Pepsi? Over Coke? Sorry, not in my good Christian Minecraft server."