Tree Bros, Boyf Riends and Kleisen One Shots

Kleinsen- You're Outta This World

"Okay, please tell me I'm not the only one that thinks the new guy is a total hottie, right?" Zoe asks the group. "I mean, I have a girlfriend, but like, he's still hot."

"No, I second that." Alana said, not looking up from her text books. "He's very attractive."

"Dude, no doubt. I'd tap that. And I probably will." Jared got up, a boost of confidence bursting through him.

He swaggered over to the new kid, leaning up against the lockers. "Are you from outer space? Cuz your ass is outta this world, babe." Jared gave the boy a wink, just to add to the flirts. Inside he wanted to kill himself, but his friends were watching and he hoped the boy would let him down easy

"Um, no? Has someone told you I'm from outer space? I'm not. I swear. Who told you that?"

"What? No, no one. I was just... It was a pick up line?"

"Oh! Wait? You are not picking me up though? And don't you have fishing lines? Where is yours?"

"Fishing- Wait, what?" Jared was cut off by the bell ringing.

"Ah! Sound of dismissal. Time to head to my mother bo-I mean, my mother. Good bye!" The boy rushed off without turning back, leaving Jared stumped.

What the hell was that kids problem?

———

"Okay, please tell me I'm not the only one that thinks the new kid is an alien, right? Like, a legit alien. From outer space."

Alana rolled her eyes. "Yeah, and my mother is a mermaid."

"That was one time, Alana." Jared growled. "This is different!"

"Is it just because your pick up lines didn't work? Because let's be real here, that don't work on anyone." Connor nodded his head to Zoe's statement.

"No! I'm serious! I... I'll prove it! Eventually..." Jared trailed off. He paused for a moment before standing up quickly. "I'm leaving. To go get proof."

"Okay. Hey, can you bring me a Milky Way from the Milky Way? I've always wanted to try space food." Connor replied.

Jared flipped off Connor, heading out the cafeteria to go find Evan. His footsteps sounded loud in the empty halls, but as soon as he thought he heard something he stopped.

He peeked around the corner, and instantly covered his mouth to cover the small gasp he let out.

Standing there, in the middle of the hallway, stood the new kid. He was talking to a hologram of an older woman. But the older woman's stomach was open like a door, and she was holding a... a brain.

And the brain has eyes. And a mouth. And arms.

Jared backed up as far as he could go, the sprinted out of the hallway. His friends were all walking out of the cafeteria, and Jared stopped them, flailing his arms wildly.

"They, they have brains!"

"Yes Jared. Everyone has brains." Alana said, deadpanned.

"In their stomachs?"

Alana sighed. "No Jared. Not in their stomachs."

"No! Like, he has, he as a brain, and it had eyes and a mouth and, just, shit, I was so fucking scared-"

"Jared! Stop making fun of the new kid." Zoe said, straightening up. "Besides. Here he comes, closed stomach and all."

Jared turned face to face with the new boy.

"Oh! Sorry. Hi! I'm Evan Hansen, and it's a pleasure to meet you. Can you take me to your leader-I mean, principle?"

"Yeah man, I've got you." Connor said, gently pulling Evan to the principals office.

"See Jared? He's just a nice guy. Stop over exaggerating when someone turns you down. It's getting kinda old." Alana nodded, taking her girlfriends hand as they walked far away from Jared.

What. The. Fucking. Hell.