Tree Bros, Boyf Riends and Kleisen One Shots

Kliensen- My Love

Yes, I know I wrote a kleinsen yesterday, but this is my favorite ship so sorry not sorry
Warning: Huehuehuehuehue
(Based on a South Park fan fic I read and loved)

"Did you get it? Baby please, I'm like, starving." Evan practically begged as he danced around his loving husband in the giant foyer; excited for dinner.

"Yes baby, I did. Do you want to cook, or do you want me to?" Jared asked, putting a hand on Evans shoulder so he'd calm down.

"You, please? If it isn't too late."

Jared glanced at the clock, nodding his head. "It's not too late for me to cook. Anything in particular you want?" Jared asked with a gleam in his eyes, already knowing what his cute little husband wanted.

"You already know!" Evan said, smirking.

"Yeah, yeah I do." Jared chuckled. "Okay, okay. Just set up the dining room, my love."

Evan almost left the room, but stopped at the doorway. "You uh... are you going to... can I...?"

"Yes Evan, I'll drain it and give you the juice. You don't even have to ask, my love."

Evan beamed as Jared grabbed a crystal glass from the counter above, setting it down carefully next to the chopping board. Jared grabbed a small knife and cut the heart of his newest victim gently, draining all of the blood into the jar.

"Thank you, so much, baby." Evan said meekly. "I don't deserve you."

"Baby, you deserve the world." Jared said, kissing Evan, and making sure not to get any blood on him. "Dinner will be ready soon, I promise."

Evan happily waltzed out of the kitchen and into the dining room, leaving Jared alone with his husbands dinner. He, of course, wouldn't be partaking in it, but nothing could stop him from making sure his husband got his fill.

——-

The victim had been fairly easy; a homeless man that didn't have any ties to relatives or any friends. All he'd had to do was cut the mans vocal cords so he wouldn't scream, and then stab him in between his neck vertebrae.

The clean up was easy; most of the blood got on himself, and the rest he dumped bleach on. He dumped the body in a bag and put the bag in his car, cleaned up the scene and bam- in almost no time he was home in his comfy mansion and ready to cook for his adorable husband.

———

Jared tenderly cut the heart into thick slices and sprinkled a bit of salt on it. Raw, just how his husband liked it. He put the rest of the meat in the walk in freezer, making a mental note to prepare it later so Evan could just enjoy it while he was at work.

Jared grabbed a glass of wine for himself, knowing that Evan had his own drink already.

He carefully grabbed the plate, making sure not to drink any of the juice, and carefully sat it down in front of his overjoyed husband.

Evan looked as though he could barely contain his excitement, which was reasonable. Jared had noticed a long time ago that if Evan didn't get his fill, he wasn't the sweet, loving husband he knew. Most people had just marked his anger off as anxiety or depression, not even thinking that there was a possibility it could have been... cravings.

"Dinner was delicious, Jared." Jared snapped out of his daydreams, smiling at Evan. "Thank you."

"Of course, my sunshine. Anything for you."

"Do you want me to, uh, to fix your shirt? And redye it and stuff?"

"Yes please, thank you. I still have stuff for my work outfit tomorrow, right?"

"Yes! I also, uh, cleaned your surgical outfit, so. Yeah."

"Evan, what did I do to deserve you?" Jared asked, love clear in his eyes.

"No, what did I do to deserve you?" Evan stood up, walking over to Jared. "How about, how about I repay you... as a thanks for dinner?"

"You don't have to, Evan. I'm content enough as it is." Jared replied, placing his hands on Evans waist.

"But I want to, Jared. I want to make you feel good."

"Then by all means, my love. I'm not going to stop you."