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Please Stop, You're Scaring Me {1/2}{N.Romanoff}

{TW: Mentions of past abuse, yelling, anxiety, swearing}

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The tension in the air was thick. You, Bucky, Steve and your adoptive mom, Natasha were sitting in the jet. You'd fucked up the mission, yet you got all the extra information that could be needed to save thousands of people. You'd put everyone at risk, but here they are, alive and well. But who gives a shit, according to James Barnes, a risk is a risk.

Your mom and Steve weren't all that impressed with your little stunt, but they both know not to get overly mad at you for it. Natasha's been your mom for over 5 years now and knows you're stubborn as hell and she knows better than to tell you not to do something another way. As long as you're okay, that's enough for her. She also knows that you don't take anger very well. You had a very abusive childhood that started when you were 3 and lasted all the way up until they died. You were Sokovian, they died when the city fell. You were 12 then, and Natasha found you and vowed to keep you safe. No one except Natasha and Steve knew, you felt they were the only ones you could really trust. The jet lands at the base and your mom and everyone gets off, leaving do to their separate things around the base. As you go to leave to your room, Bucky'd voice stops you.

"I don't think so, sit down, now" He says. You say nothing and shoot him a glare that reads really?

"Can I at least shower first? I'm drenched in guts and blood" Your sokovian accented voice rings.

"Yeah? And who's fault is that?" He asks rhetorically. He slams a glass down and you jump slightly.

"Jesus Christ Barnes, get the fuck over yourself! Everyone's always in danger- in case you haven't noticed, it's part of the damn job!" You yell at him. " I seen a chance, went through the possible risks and I took the chance and guess what, I fucking survived, okay! I don't get why you're being such a pain in my ass about this!" You scream at him, stress evident on your features.

"Y/n, You could've been killed! K-I-L-L-E-D!" He exclaims at her.

"It was only a few HYDRA agents hakuna your tattas Barnes" You say sarcastically.

"Is everything a fucking joke to you?" He asks you. You shrug.

"Only things that are funny" You retort. Bucky growls and walks up to you.

"You are such a child, L/N! One day you're gonna get killed out there, you're fucking useless!" He spits.

"I'm not a child, nor am I useless! You're just an asshole!" You scream back at him.

"You're going to start listening to me before I do something I regret" He seethes. His words strike fear into your body.

"You think you know what you're doing out there but you don't! You don't have a fucking clue what it's like to go out there every day and almost lose your life yet you run into it like it's everything you've ever wanted! You have no fucking idea what it's like to nearly die. You don't have a clue what it means to lost everything!" He continues. But you don't hear most of it. All you see is the man you considered a father looking down on you like you're the dirt on the bottom of his shoe. Like you're nothing. Like you're a mistake. You shake your head and try to walk away, but Bucky's strong hand grips your shoulder and you let out a shriek. He puts you up against a wall.

"You think you know everything! You think you're so fucking amazing and confident out there that you can go about doing anything you want! Well you're a fucking idiot, you're a stupid little bitch!" He spits at you. You failed. Fucked up. You fucked up. You're losing the man you turned to when you had nightmares, the man who was there when Natasha couldn't be. You're losing that, losing him. He's definitely mad. He hates you. He's gonna hit you, you're sure of it. His fist collides with the wall beside you and you scream something awful. Your eyes are blown wide open and your body shakes.

"Why do you have to be so stupid!" He screams in your face. You're frozen in fear and you can't breath. You've never felt so small next to Bucky and he scares you so much in this moment. You try to say something, but you feel like your throats clogged.  "Huh? No fucking sarcastic remarks anymore? Nothing to say?"He says.

"I-I'm s-s-orry" You stutter out quietly. Everything bad in your life replays before your very eyes. Every hit. Every slap. Every punch. Every kick. Every burn. Every scar. Every time she's disappointed someone, disappointed Natasha, disappointed Steve, disappointed Bucky.

"You're sorry? That's all?" He says, scoffing. You hear the elevator ding and you kick Bucky's leg as you run backwards, seeing him run towards you with a hateful glare on his face. You fall over your feet and Natasha catches you.

"Y/n? What's wrong мое сердце?" She asks you.

"Bu-Bucky" You say, your breath suddenly disappearing. You pass out in Natasha's arms and she shoots a glare at Bucky. She picks you up and sets you on the couch.

"What the hell did you say to her?" She seethes at Bucky. Bucky looks over at her and realises the trauma he's unknowingly resurfaced. "Friday, what's wrong with my daughter" Natasha says, suspicious as to why Bucky was being quieter than usual and looked guilty as fuck.

"It appears that Mr. Barnes' aggressive behaviour towards Ms. L/N has brought up symptoms of PTSD" The AI informs her.

"Aggressive? What does she mean, aggressive?" The readhead asks the super soldier standing in front of her. Bucky still says nothing. Natasha shakes her head. "Friday show me visual with audio of what happened in here" Natasha commands. The tape plays and Natasha's shocked when she hears Bucky yelling at you, but her heart breaks when she sees you go from the confident young woman she knows you to be, to a frightened little girl. You became a little abused child all over again and she was a few rooms away.