Don't Close Your Eyes, Don't Fade Away {N.Romanoff}

2.8K 50 2

by trashm0uth-h

by trashm0uth-h

In a world full of questions, what ones could be answered? Some like, 'What happens after you die?' or 'Is there really a God?', maybe something really silly like 'Do ghosts exist?'. Those are difficult questions to answer...besides one, but you can take your pick which one. But there was always one specific one, no one ever wanted to ask, not even to their worst enemy. 'What does it feel like to lose a child?'. It was a question many could answer, but it was one Natasha Romanoff never thought she'd find herself answering. She'd tried so hard to protect you, yet she failed so drastically.

You sit in the common room, a random movie playing in the background. Since it's just you, your mom, Steve and Bucky in the compound, you had decided it'd be a good movie to show Bucky some movie's he'd missed out on. You all picked one, you chose to show him The Hunger Games, Your mom chose Grown Ups and Steve chose Jurassic Park. You sit on the couch, your legs over your moms. The white lights in the compound are dimmed and is replaced by a red. Everyone shares a look of confusion and you stand up looking out of the window.

"Uh, guys, I think we got some visitors" You say. You don't notice the person standing at the side of the window until the crash through and tackle you to the ground, causing you to scream. They hold your arms down and try to cover your mouth."Get off of me!" You say, trying to thrash the person off of you. Natasha hears you scream and runs to where you are.

"Hey jackass!" she says, getting your attackers attention. They stop trying to hold you down and they look up to your dad.

"Ah Miss Romanoff, it's been a while" They say. You take advantage of them putting their guard down and you push yourself up, kicking them in the chest and sending them back. You go to knock them out, but they grab your ankle and twist it, hearing it crack.

"Fuck!" You cry out. You lift your other foot and use all your power to bring it down on their face, knocking them out cold. You limp over to your mom.

"Good work" He says, complimenting you.

"Thanks." You say, a groan escaping your lips. A gunshot alerts both you and your mom, then the emergency lights turn off, leaving everyone in the darkness. You lose your mom and feel around, trying to find anything to lead you back to anyone in the team.

"Y/n" you hear someone whisper. You don't know who it is, but it sounds vaguely like Bucky.

"Bucky?" You ask the darkness.

"Follow my voice, you're gonna get us" He says, leading you. You walk to the living room, your hands held out in front of you. You sigh in relief as the lights slowly flicker back on. You find your self standing a few feet in front of the whole team, looks of relief on their faces. Natasha's eyes widen when he sees someone running behind you, a knife gripped tight in their hand.

"Y/n!" Natasha says. Everything feels slow motion as the person behind you runs up, pushing the knife into your back. Everything shoots back into real time as your mom runs towards you, Bucky and Steve running after the person who stabbed you. They twist the knife, creating a bigger wound, then they pull it out. You fall to your knees, gasping desperately in attempt to bring in air. Natasha slides to the ground in front of you, gripping onto your clothes to try and keep you conscious. "No, Y/n!" She says, putting her hand to the wound on your back. Her stomach flips when she sees her entire palm drenched in your blood. "woah, hey, hey Y/n, look at me, you're going to be okay, we're gonna patch you up and you're going to be okay" Natasha says, reassuring you, or it herself? "Hey look at me, look at me. It's not even that bad, It's not that bad Y/N/N. You're going to be as good as new, we're going to fix you. I'm gonna take care of you, huh? That's my job right? Look out for my partner in crime?" Natasha says. She hits your face lightly, noticing your eyes drooping. "Y/n" He says, your head wobbling and body feeling limp. Your eyes shut and your body slumps into your moms. "Oh god, oh god, no no no no no" She says, rocking your body as you slowly die. "Y-Y/n?" She says, his voice above nothing. Her hands shake as she looks at your lifeless body. "I-I'm sorry" She says, pushing your body forward. Natasha breaks down in tears when she sees you, pale and lifeless. She sobs, not caring who sees her. She lost you, her miracle baby,her only baby. Her job was to protect you, yet she failed so miserably, how can she forgive herself? Short answer, she can't.

-One year later-

It's the time of year any parent who's lost a child dreads, the anniversary. It's a day the team has reserved for a day off, that and your birthday, which Natasha found incredibly hard. She had to remember everything, and you weren't there. Natasha's became a different person, she just isn't the same, but in all honesty, who can blame her? None of team had ever experienced the loss of a child, and it changes you for the worst reasons. Sure, Natasha still goes on missions, but it's all about finding the son of a bitch that drove that knife through your back.

Natasha walks off of the landing ramp first, taking the lead and taking the team into the base. Steve busts the door down and in a matter of seconds, bullets are firing everywhere. Through it all, Natasha spots a familiar face, one she's been looking for for near enough a year. She pushes through and when the person sees the furious Black Widow, they make a run for it. Natasha wastes no time in running after them, her gun clutched tight in her grip. The person hits a dead end.

"Shit" They murmur to themselves. They turn around when they hear the cocking of a gun, their hands in the air.

"Why?" Natasha asks, trying to keep her voice up.

"She was there, a kill is a kill, you should know better than anyone, Natalia" They say.

"She didn't deserve it, why her?" She asks.

"You didn't deserve her, you're a monster" They say.

"Stop." Natasha says, her emotions getting the better of her. The person in front of her smirks, causing anger to rise in Natasha. She aims the gun at them. "You pissed off the wrong woman" She says. She pulls the trigger and shoots the person in the chest, their body hitting the floor. Even though she's avenged your death, it still doesn't feel better. She's beginning to get the feeling it won't. The team catches up to her and they come to a halt, seeing Natasha staring in front of her.

"Nat, Natasha?" Steve says. Natasha turns around and her expression is broken.

"W-Why doesn't it feel better?" She asks, questioning no one in particular. "Why does it still hurt?" She says, breaking down in tears and falling into Steve's arms.

"Nat, it never is going to feel better. It might, but it might not" He says. Everyone looks at the redheaded assassin with sympathy, she'd suffered so much loss, then deaths grim claws took a grip on you and snatched you away, none of it seemed fair. None of it is fair.

She had to keep being a mom, but she doesn't get to have a child.